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Good luck in your search? - 7/9/2009 6:11:33 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

LOL ok. I know this is a site where people can meet someone if they have a mind to finding a partner. But is it really the assumption that most of us are looking? Every time I get an email on the other side it almost always ends with "good luck in your search"
I am not looking. If I was I don't think I would do it on a site because I am not likely to move and most people of interest are clear across the country.
I have a profile up, does this mean I am searching by default?
Kyst

Post #: 1

RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/9/2009 6:17:40 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I usually only make such a comment if the profile states the individual is looking. This site, however, is geared towards personals...so it's probably easy to make that assumption for most everyone.

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(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 2

RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/9/2009 6:18:08 PM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
Status: offline

I too am not searching and have at times wondered if it would be best if I didn't have a profile or just keep it hidden. At this time, I am comfortable keeping it. It is plainly stated Not Looking and why. I have met a couple like minded people on this forum whom I really enjoy sharing with through cmails only as friends and nothing else. I think my profile is honest, and people assume any ways be it here or else where.

Are you searching by default? Nay, I dont see it, maybe because I know I am not.

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RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/9/2009 6:19:20 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

i looked at your profile and definitely came away with the impression that you are looking.

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(in reply to Missokyst)

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RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/9/2009 6:20:21 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

i looked at your profile and definitely came away with the impression that you are looking.

... and good luck with that!

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Post #: 5

RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/9/2009 6:28:41 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Just read your profile as well and got the feeling you were looking for casual encounters at least.

I would think that if you weren't looking your profile would state something along the lines of "not looking" or "in a relationship".

This is a personals site more than anything else.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 6

RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/9/2009 6:40:12 PM

LovingMistress45

Posts: 271
Joined: 2/7/2009
Status: offline

I took a peek at your profile and I agree it sounds like you are looking. Particularly where you state you don't want online romance and need to feel the touch. So, that is why you probably get the good luck on your search;

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 7

RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/9/2009 6:41:57 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

It's also a very common response people have when they discover someone is not into them. There aren't a lot of things you can say that are polite after being rejected, so "good luck with your search" is usually a standard response that indicates "I wish you would have chosen me, but you didn't, so I'll leave without doing what others do when they cuss you out and try to demean you because you decided not to give them a try."

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RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/9/2009 6:47:16 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I tend to only use that phrase if someone has contacted Me and made it evident that they are looking. Well, I mean the ones that are nice about it. I think it comes off better than "be well" which can sound kind of cold.

My general closure for an email is usually "Regards In Kink" which I figure covers just about everybody.

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(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 9

RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/9/2009 6:55:39 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Thanks Holly and all. I hadn't realised I left that part in. I had removed much of my profile early on in collarme. I left the play part up only because I occasionally attend parties in Sacramento.
I will definitely be taking that out! If I do play I only play with my current casual partner.
Romance .. here? phhht. Not likely.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

i looked at your profile and definitely came away with the impression that you are looking.

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 10

RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/9/2009 7:40:12 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I mostly used it as a polite rejection. I only said it if I genuinely did hope they found someone compatible, so not with anyone who was rude or pushy. A lot of people who were clearly incompatible contacted me, and I answered just about everyone unless they had a one-liner that didn't really leave anything to respond to, or were impolite.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 11

RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/9/2009 8:53:02 PM

BalletBob

Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

I am not looking either, but I have a profile. I too won't locate, and am married. And if I mentioned anything about LOOKING for a CYBER Mistress, I would get half the group calling me names. So I just say, I am not looking. If by some chance I become friends with a female Domme, then I will still not be looking, since maybe I found someone then.

Looking not looking, sub BalletBob

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(in reply to Missokyst)

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RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/9/2009 8:56:13 PM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline

As a single on a personals site, yes the assumption is that you are looking unless your profile says otherwise. You have a setting in your profile that refers to what you seek, and thats how you come up on people's radars If you have that set to dominant male, then it is the assumption that you are looking for a dominant male for a partner, not just a chat friend.

In my case, I usually respond to offers with "good luck with your search" after informing them that I know they didnt read the profile and dont know I am not looking.

DV

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Post #: 13

RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/9/2009 9:00:04 PM

jeninvegas

Posts: 79
Joined: 6/11/2009
Status: offline

I agree with the OP that I would not be looking for a partner on this site, if I were looking at all. I think that people make comments like that because they either did not read your profile that you're not looking or just don't care whether you're looking or not.

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Post #: 14

RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/10/2009 1:33:11 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

It's also a very common response people have when they discover someone is not into them.

It's also difficult not to appear rude when rejecting 'come ons'. The silliest ones IMO are those from other continents or even half way across Europe who appear to think one can simply drop every other life commitment and just go and get owned at the drop of an email.
I recently had a string of mails from a man who insisted he was intelligent, insistent, wanted immediate response, phone number NOW, chat NOW etc. His journal was full of put downs and personal warnings about women he had interacted with here so he was an absolute no go as far as chat or mailing went for me.
There's a difference also between those who have just joined here and those who have been here a while. I always look at the date they joined as there are waves of newbiw 'hits' and they seem to think they are unique when they join.
Maybe I though I was uniquer when I first joined here...
maybe I should get a life but I'n into a phase of 'looking' at the moment although I never search profiles I alway wait until I am solicited.
Maybe it would make it easier if I wrote a list and knew what I wanted though...

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Post #: 15

RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/10/2009 7:53:43 AM

Rainfire

Posts: 4047
Joined: 1/5/2009
Status: offline

*shrugs*

If someone can't figure out that I'm happily owned, collared and married from my profile, that means they aren't really reading it or ignoring it. I clearly state that I am here for friends and the forums. Of course...... I joined CM just for the forums, had absolutely no intention of trying to find a partner. We all know how well that went over!

As for responding to cmails, if it's not a friend, I'll close with "May you find that which you seek" not as a reference just to finding a partner but in general to finding friends, good conversation, a partner, happiness, whatever. May they find whatever they're looking for.... just not from me.

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(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 16

RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/10/2009 7:57:36 AM

roland23

Posts: 241
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

For me, this is primarily a personals site. If I was not looking, I would not log on. I simply do not have the time. On the other hand, in the course of looking I have learned a lot about equipment, events etc.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 17

RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/10/2009 7:58:16 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

I also use it as a polite, generic closing when someone has shown interest and I'm not feeling the same. I'm hoping it doesn't feel as much like rejection when I say something like "Wow, Kansas is quite a ways away and I'm really looking for someone close by.....good luck in your search!"

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Post #: 18

RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/10/2009 8:00:03 AM

MAMandSlave

Posts: 110
Joined: 8/15/2008
Status: offline

We generally use that phrase when someone has "mistakenly" (giving the benefit of the doubt) contacted us under the assumption that kristine is a slave who is avialable. Usually we just make people aware she is owned, if they are polite we chat, and often end with wishing them luck. I just read your profile and it now, having been modified definitely does not sound like your looking.

(in reply to Rainfire)

Post #: 19

RE: Good luck in your search? - 7/10/2009 8:34:55 AM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

And who says we aren't jaded about romance these days.

Sad affair in the world today.

Steel

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Post #: 20

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