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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 12:16:41 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Pay the neighbor to be the passenger. The Adult she has to drive with does not need to be Family just someone who is over 25.

However I gotta agree with your daughter..... Suck it up Cup Cake.

Steel

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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 12:22:20 PM   
DesFIP


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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		How old is yours Steel? Because in about 14 years time, karma will get you.

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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 12:23:23 PM   
sirsholly


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Status: offline 		those of us with young children need to pay attention here...there is a passenger seat with our names on it 

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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 12:27:27 PM   
sirsholly


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

How old is yours Steel? Because in about 14 years time, karma will get you.
so will the dashboard.


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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 12:32:35 PM   
frazzle


Posts: 1212
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline 		LOL i'm also a terrible passenger, but for some reason was fine teaching my son.

Ok, I was holding on for dear life and managed to smoke 20 cigarettes in the hour, but im still here.

Unfortunately the passenger supervising has to be sober. Damn laws, not made by parents.

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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 12:34:34 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

LOL i'm also a terrible passenger, but for some reason was fine teaching my son.

Ok, I was holding on for dear life and managed to smoke 20 cigarettes in the hour, but im still here.

Unfortunately the passenger supervising has to be sober. Damn laws, not made by parents.


Sadly though, the experience has never left your subconscious mind...hence your user ID


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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 12:35:40 PM   
frazzle


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Status: offline 		LOL Well there is that.

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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 12:42:05 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Oh god... can I ever relate!  I had to sit there for two hours in the morning and two in the evening with my one son. OMG!  Once we got home and I stormed in... the look on my face told everyone not to mess with me.  I could have murdered someone with one more moment of anything other than quiet and pleasant! Took me an hour to stop pacing the floor.  From then on I only did the mornings and I drove the evenings.

With my daughter we were in my new SUV and I was afraid every time she turned a corner. Knew we were going to bounce right on over.

The way I survived is I didn't think about it before hand and made sure I was calm and nothing happened bad an hour before or we didn't go.  We tried parking lots first. Went out at night when there was less traffic and then progressed to days and day traffic when they knew how the car handled.  At least with my daughter that's how we did it.

But... if you can... I would hire a driver's training company or friend to do it!

< Message edited by Lockit -- 7/2/2009 12:44:00 PM >

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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 12:45:13 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		I second this suggestion. My step-father taught me to drive stick in an a big parking lot where the car could bunny-hop and stall and no one would slam on the brakes!


quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

or find a huge parking lot.. (walmart or ikea, for instance).   Preferably without the parking bumpers...  STadiums/arenas can be good for this too.



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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 1:08:47 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
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From: Kentucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Any suggestions anyone?


I taught both of my two older sons... and am currently faced with teaching my youngest (who has been licensed for the past year) to drive in big city traffic.  *shudders*  I can sympathize.

Here's what I do...

I know I'm going to lecture (and they know it, too), so I get it out before they even start the car.  Take fifteen minutes, or however long you need, to go over whatever it is you want them to pay particular attention to.  Try not to overwhelm them... the human brain can only take so much new information at a time.  Stick to three or four points at a time/per trip, and don't forget to be encouraging.

Take a deep breath.  Think back to when you were just learning and try to put yourself in their place.  How would you feel to have someone critiquing every move you make and distracting you when you're already nervous and trying your best? 

Resign yourself to just being along for the ride.  While it's hard to keep from thinking of the worst... if it's going to happen, wouldn't you rather it be while you are with them?

Pray. 

To try to keep from making comments while they're driving, make notes instead of any issues you'd like to bring to their attention.  They will need to get comfortable with the idea of someone doing so during their test, anyway.  Once the trip is completed, have a "debriefing" to bring up trouble spots.  Don't forget to include praise for what they do right!

If all else fails and you just can't keep yourself from being a "terrible passenger"... try duct tape.

Good luck!



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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 1:21:02 PM   
bislaveboy84


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/1/2009
Status: offline 		Well i can't speak from experience since over here in Dutchy land there's no such a law to even make this kind of stuff possible. But I'm just curious, what is making you such a bad passenger? Do you just get nervous, do you correct everything? Put out rough comments about the other people on the road? I mean these things are difficult, but they're really mental and you can overcome them, if you want to. I know that's hard, but I'm sure that you can. Just try and find a good thought or something else to focus on while you're in the passenger seat and find some sort of acceptance of someone else driving. At least remember it's a temporary thing ... i wouldn't say "Suck it up," because you probably want to do more than that. But figuring out the cause of your worries and then either removing/ignoring/not focusing on that would maybe help you get through this. Find some motivation for your self to overcome it, and when that motivation is larger than the obstacle then you can easily over come it in time. Just try not to be nervous and have faith in yourself. Good luck!

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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 1:25:40 PM   
olena


Posts: 97
Joined: 12/27/2007
Status: offline 		Oh this was so awful when I went through it with my daughter. I not a horrible passenger but I am not one to bit my tongue.

I did two things. I would remind myself constantly of the patience my husband, who did not have much patience, showed me when he taught me to drive and to come up with some mental routine that relaxes you and be in a decent mood when driving with her.

It is also ok that she does not always have to drive you. If you are not in a good mood or stressed out already just insist on driving on those occasions.



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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 1:37:03 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Irish, we're twins! I'm on the second kid and I swear that I'm worse than ever even though he's a better driver than she is. Basically I'm making the older one take him driving and she gets to teach him to parallel park since I can't. But we take back roads everywhere since I can't deal with him going down Main Street.

LOL You would think I was used to this; fortunatly, with my oldest three ( all who are out of the house ), I did not have to do this lol. My oldest was already driving when I met his father; the oldest girl was taught by her father and brother, and the youngest boy was taught by his brother and sister. Whew lol...except now...the two boys are out of the country and the oldest girl is in NY...hard to get them to do this for me
quote:

can you drink heavily?

I know she needs a licensed driver in the car with her, but not sure if the licensed driver has to be sober.

If she gets pulled over and you are plowed, with any luck the cop will be the mom of a 16 yr old.

(you know i am kidding Irish. I have no answer for you, though i wish i did...cause my time in the passenger seat is coming)

LMAO now that is funny as hell. I told her what you said and her response "sure mama, then you can arrest yourself"
quote:

Treat it like a journey of masochism and take the pain??????

believe me, I am already feeling the pain
quote:

Hmm...Your profile says you're in Indiana....How about you tell her she's only allowed to drive on mountain roads until her 6 months are up????

LOL, dayum but I wish
quote:

When I had to go through that, I survived by taking out my contact lens.

Hmmm....that might work lol
quote:

valium....

tequila....

almost makes me wish I still drank lol


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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 1:43:10 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

Pay the neighbor to be the passenger. The Adult she has to drive with does not need to be Family just someone who is over 25.

However I gotta agree with your daughter..... Suck it up Cup Cake.

Steel

I thought about that, unfortunatly, when I checked at the BMV here in town; it has to be a relative that drives with her because she's still only 15. Over 16, it can be any licensed driver...but by then, she will be able to get her license
quote:

But... if you can... I would hire a driver's training company or friend to do it!

Now see, that's the reason I went ahead and forked out the money for drivers ed; its not mandatory here that they have it, and she really did not want to do it. I knew though that she needed someone to start her off other than me because well...I suck...I am a terrible passenger...that's all there is to it. After her first day of the class, she was allowed to drive with me in the car...and we did alot of it...I just am getting worse and not better...she laughs at me cause she swears that one of these days, I will find that invisible break on the other side of the car.
quote:

Well i can't speak from experience since over here in Dutchy land there's no such a law to even make this kind of stuff possible. But I'm just curious, what is making you such a bad passenger? Do you just get nervous, do you correct everything? Put out rough comments about the other people on the road? I mean these things are difficult, but they're really mental and you can overcome them, if you want to. I know that's hard, but I'm sure that you can. Just try and find a good thought or something else to focus on while you're in the passenger seat and find some sort of acceptance of someone else driving. At least remember it's a temporary thing ... i wouldn't say "Suck it up," because you probably want to do more than that. But figuring out the cause of your worries and then either removing/ignoring/not focusing on that would maybe help you get through this. Find some motivation for your self to overcome it, and when that motivation is larger than the obstacle then you can easily over come it in time. Just try not to be nervous and have faith in yourself. Good luck!

LOL well, alot of this goes back to when I used to get in a car with my brothers or my late husband. They knew I was nervous, especially in bad conditions...so they would deliberatly do things that made me more nervous...dougnuts on ice for example...it used to make me absolutly nuts and put me in tears...they thought it was funny


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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 1:44:21 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Any suggestions anyone?


I taught both of my two older sons... and am currently faced with teaching my youngest (who has been licensed for the past year) to drive in big city traffic.  *shudders*  I can sympathize.

Here's what I do...

I know I'm going to lecture (and they know it, too), so I get it out before they even start the car.  Take fifteen minutes, or however long you need, to go over whatever it is you want them to pay particular attention to.  Try not to overwhelm them... the human brain can only take so much new information at a time.  Stick to three or four points at a time/per trip, and don't forget to be encouraging.

Take a deep breath.  Think back to when you were just learning and try to put yourself in their place.  How would you feel to have someone critiquing every move you make and distracting you when you're already nervous and trying your best? 

Resign yourself to just being along for the ride.  While it's hard to keep from thinking of the worst... if it's going to happen, wouldn't you rather it be while you are with them?

Pray. 

To try to keep from making comments while they're driving, make notes instead of any issues you'd like to bring to their attention.  They will need to get comfortable with the idea of someone doing so during their test, anyway.  Once the trip is completed, have a "debriefing" to bring up trouble spots.  Don't forget to include praise for what they do right!

If all else fails and you just can't keep yourself from being a "terrible passenger"... try duct tape.

Good luck!




I saved this one for last
It is probably going to be what I concentrate on the most....thanks ....though the other suggestions like being blind drunk, and blindfolded also have merit

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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 1:45:15 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		I have done the same thing with both. I get to control the radio, I bring a soothing music cd, recline the seat back a little, put the cd in, and just sit back and relax. I would keep my eyes on the ceiling or slightly closed int he beginning. My kids said the cd also helped them because they were very nervous driving me. After a while, I started paying a little more attention and giving pointers.

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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 1:50:22 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		IrishMist, I have the same gig.  I don't much like anyone else doing the driving.

Unfortunately, the method that I used won't work for you.  I made clip do it.


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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 2:01:23 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline 		hmmm  I can't relate to that

In Germany we don't have that luxury of doing it that way. You do your driving lessons with the driving teacher and once you have your license THEN you can drive any other car...so experience level in that respect is nill....though I agree that nervous drivers are no help at all, because at my first driving school I was pretty confident to pass...until...well, until the last driving lesson before the exam, there she went banana...following that I failed. Later I continued at another driving school had the mega-cool instructor and passed.

Maybe I should send you some of my evening tablets which make me sleepy very well indeed...you could take them and once you feel the effect, THEN go into the car (not before, as then they take longer to work when you are agitated or busy)....or you could use a gag...to shut up...or you could take your partner into the backseat row, get busy with him in the back seats whilst she drives...so you might be less bothered to look after the driving from your daughter...

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 7/2/2009 2:02:22 PM >

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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 2:08:37 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		hahaha  When I went out with my two, I brought some soothing music, did some deep breathing exercises and took some Xanax about 20 minutes before the scheduled departure time.  Big parking lots are good too.....they can practice starting/stopping, parking, backing around corners, everything.  Oh, and I reminded myself how much nicer I am than my father was with me.  haha  Good luck, you're gonna need it. 

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RE: Helpppppppppp - 7/2/2009 5:29:28 PM   
justme1980


Posts: 169
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Ok...so, my teenager went through drivers ed. I paid the $400 so that she could take the class; mainly because I am a terrible...absolutly terrible, passenger...it does not matter who is doing the driving...I am absolutly terrible. So, I have her take the class so that I don't make HER a nervous wreck trying to teach her.

They finished the class up yesterday; she passed. She now has almost 6 months in which she can 'practice' before she has to take her actual driving test for her license. Which is good. REally.

BUT.

dayumit....she wants to drive EVERYWHERE NOW...and dayumit, I am STILL a fucking terrible passenger. She yelled at me yesterday...actually pulled into a parking lot, stopped the car and literally yelled at me. Told me to be quiet, and suck it up.

Dayum if she isn't just like her father.

So....I need to figure out a way to NOT be a terrible passenger. I tried closing my eyes and pretending to be asleep...like I used to do with her father , but she does not like that...says it makes HER too nervous.

Any suggestions anyone?

LOL

I really hate the teenage years


get one of those really old cars tthat are built like tanks, if she does get into an accident, she'll be fine and the other car will look like an accordian, otherwise, pay a neighbor like someone mentioned

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Profile   Post #: 40
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