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how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 1:20:45 AM

jeninvegas

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Joined: 6/11/2009
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so, how do you train yourself not to worry all the time? it's not so much anxiety but the racing of mind. the mind won't stop thinking and (over) analyzing things that are probably aren't even there to analyze at all. little things and situations gets the mind running. i can't let things be and i can't just go with a situation that i know isn't harmful without worrying about every little freakin' details...

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Post #: 1

RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 1:40:47 AM

Ialdabaoth

Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jeninvegas

so, how do you train yourself not to worry all the time? it's not so much anxiety but the racing of mind. the mind won't stop thinking and (over) analyzing things that are probably aren't even there to analyze at all. little things and situations gets the mind running. i can't let things be and i can't just go with a situation that i know isn't harmful without worrying about every little freakin' details...

Have you tried little calming mantras? I've found the Bene Geserit mantra against fear works wonders:

"I shall not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn my inner eye to view its path.
Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing.
Only I shall remain."

Repeating that over and over in your head when you're worried has a wonderful way of drowning out whatever your brain is trying to worry about.

Also, here's a little heuristic I like to follow:

1) Can I do something about this (whatever I'm worrying about)?
A) If YES, branch to 2.
B) If NO, branch to 5.
C) If MAYBE, branch to 8.
2) I have effect on the situation. Is it time-critical that I affect the situation immediately? (i.e., is there a "window of opportunity" that will pass if I don't act quickly?)
A) If YES, branch to 3.
B) If NO, branch to 8.
3) It doesn't matter if what I'm about to do is the most effective thing to do; something needs to be done, and I'm in a position to do it. Let's get it done, and later, when we have the luxury of more time, we can re-examine and learn lessons for handling things more efficiently next time.
4) While working, did we make a mess that needs to be cleaned up, or leave any dangling/unresolved issues?
A) If YES, branch back to 1.
B) If NO, branch to 5.
C) If MAYBE, branch to 8.
5) Well, look at that. We don't have anything positive to contribute to the situation. Time to move on! Relax; make yourself a drink. Go for a walk. Invite some friends over for homemade cheesecake. Isn't life nice?
6) Are we still worrying about things we don't need to fix or can't control anyways? Why?
7) While we've been tracing back all the reasons why we're worrying about things we can't control, have we found something we CAN control?
A) If YES, branch back to 1.
B) If NO, branch back to 5.
C) if MAYBE, branch back to 8.
8) Huh. We're not quite sure what's going on. We need more data!
9) Guess what? "Needing more data" is a thing we can do something about! Branch back to 1!

(in reply to jeninvegas)

Post #: 2

RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 2:01:40 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jeninvegas

so, how do you train yourself not to worry all the time? it's not so much anxiety but the racing of mind. the mind won't stop thinking and (over) analyzing things that are probably aren't even there to analyze at all. little things and situations gets the mind running. i can't let things be and i can't just go with a situation that i know isn't harmful without worrying about every little freakin' details...

Quite honestly, it would depend on WHAT the situation is that is making me so worried.

Very little actually gets to me, with the exception of something going on with the youngins ( even though they are old enough to handle themselves in just about any situation ). With the exception of them, I pretty much just let everything roll right off me...it will either work out, or it won't...I don't let the worry control me though. In regards to the youngins...well, that's impossible to control

, I just have to trust in them to do the right thing and let them make their own mistakes if it goes that way.

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RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 2:50:51 AM

PyrotheClown

Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/18/2009
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*pffft*

It's like....easy maannn
*exhale*
*pfffft*

YEah, wait a minute maan, you're like, not even a man

you're a whooooaa-man

But yeah, what Ialdabaoth said.

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RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 2:55:34 AM

Goddess2002

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Seriously? Celexa.

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Post #: 5

RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 3:05:58 AM

Level

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Study some Buddhism, and meditate. You don't have to get overly deep into it to benefit from it.

Basically, it'll teach you to identify troubling thoughts, and gently remove them.

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Let go it's harder holding on
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RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 5:55:57 AM

windchymes

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Joined: 4/18/2005
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I agree totally with the sweetie above me.....

But, on the other side of the coin, if self-help measures don't help, you might benefit from professional help. It sounds like you might have a Generalized Anxiety Disorder.....which of course, I am NOT qualified to diagnose.....but from what I know, it does sound like it's a possibility. Consult your doctor.

I know most of us hate medications, but the right one, along with the meditation or relaxation exercises, might help you out a lot.

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RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 6:13:39 AM

angelikaJ

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People have given you some wonderful advice.

If you can't seem to get a handle on it on your own however, "racing thoughts" can be a feature of an anxiety disorder, a bipolar disorder or even some depressions.

Counseling and an evaluation to sort that out with a psychiatrist might be needed.

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Post #: 8

RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 6:32:24 AM

DarkSteven

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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You're a submissive. Have you ever had a Dom who made you feel like you could just relax, because he was making the big decisions and not you?

That's just one of the many services that Doms provide.

We're also very good in bed.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Post #: 9

RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 6:34:39 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

music can be good. SMASH THE TV!

What a good topic. I find that petting my cat to be joy!   I also am now going to take my meds down abit more.   As I do so- I been feeling better.

...to get away from the doom I then was watching Jigga Jones.   He is hilarious because he upsets people.

It is important to go to sleep - in that you clear your mind.

...and of course- for some worries- take them up with god. As some worries require a higher force.   :-)

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 10

RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 7:57:28 AM

scarlethiney

Posts: 492
Joined: 8/22/2008
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Unless someone is dying then in my book it just is not important enough to lose sleep over. The only exception to this would be if there were an issue with my son.
Maybe you are experiencing some true anxiety. Yoga is a wonderful way to learn to relax, actually any exercise will help you release stress. Herbal tea is another good one. Chamomile, Valerian root.

Good luck.

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(in reply to jeninvegas)

Post #: 11

RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 8:01:24 AM

FirmhandKY

Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jeninvegas

so, how do you train yourself not to worry all the time? it's not so much anxiety but the racing of mind. the mind won't stop thinking and (over) analyzing things that are probably aren't even there to analyze at all. little things and situations gets the mind running. i can't let things be and i can't just go with a situation that i know isn't harmful without worrying about every little freakin' details...

Physical exercise.

Firm

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Some people are just idiots.

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Post #: 12

RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 11:00:45 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Paxil, Zoloft, Valium. Generalized Anxiety Disorder is a bitch.

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RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 11:12:38 AM

Rainfire

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Joined: 1/5/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Paxil, Zoloft, Valium. Generalized Anxiety Disorder is a bitch.

I've had GAD for years - I've learned my triggers, although sometimes things creep up on me. Next thing I know, I'm in a tizzy, the mind is racing and I'm just a dithering mess. Xanax is my friend. Thank God Lumus understands and can help me calm down, though when the thoughts get racing at night and I can't sleep, I just tell myself "what would Daddy have me do?" and go from there, usually while snuggled up against Him and listening to Him snore.

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Post #: 14

RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 11:27:35 AM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rainfire

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Paxil, Zoloft, Valium. Generalized Anxiety Disorder is a bitch.

I've had GAD for years - I've learned my triggers, although sometimes things creep up on me. Next thing I know, I'm in a tizzy, the mind is racing and I'm just a dithering mess. Xanax is my friend. Thank God Lumus understands and can help me calm down, though when the thoughts get racing at night and I can't sleep, I just tell myself "what would Daddy have me do?" and go from there, usually while snuggled up against Him and listening to Him snore.

that is so awesome for you to have him. i remember when i was at the peak of my panic attacks and i would tell my ex. his answer was always get over it, and i did for a long while.

i havent had panic attacks in a long time, but i never leave home without xanax handy, just started on celexa, and am going for my second shrink appt today.

the generalized anxiety is creeping back up on me, due to peri-menopause, facing possible foreclosure, or maybe its just that part of the cycle of my life...ugh.

to the op-definately seek help, be it support group, friends, drugs, therapy or whatever. the racing thoughts were the precurser to my being homebound for a year by panic......i wish you luck.....

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Post #: 15

RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 11:32:15 AM

Loki45

Posts: 2100
Joined: 5/13/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jeninvegas
so, how do you train yourself not to worry all the time? it's not so much anxiety but the racing of mind. the mind won't stop thinking and (over) analyzing things that are probably aren't even there to analyze at all. little things and situations gets the mind running. i can't let things be and i can't just go with a situation that i know isn't harmful without worrying about every little freakin' details...

It's really quite simple. You can use the 'mantras' that others have provided, or use the one I like, from Chris Tucker. Just say in a loud voice "I don't give a fuck!" But you have to mean it.

Watch Fight Club. A lot of the 'lessons' Tyler Durden tries to teach Ed Norton's character are true. You have to develop the ability to let that which does not matter, truly slide.

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(in reply to jeninvegas)

Post #: 16

RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 11:35:23 AM

kdsub

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Joined: 8/16/2007
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Not popular advice here on CM but realize some things are outside of your control and are best left to God...If not a believer than close your eyes...fill your lungs...spread your arms...reach to the heavens... the yell as loud as you can... FUCK IT ALL!!!

Butch

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Post #: 17

RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 12:03:23 PM

Arpig

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From: Increasingly further from reality
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My ex-wife is a worrier, and it used to drive her crazy that I didn't worry about things. I have a really simple rule I follow: If the situation is one I can do something about, then I figure out what to do about it, and I no longer worry about it as I have taken steps to resolve the situation. If the situation is one I cannot do something about, then I do not worry about it as there is nothing I can do about it. I realise this sounds very simplistic, but this technique works for me, it took me some time to learn it, but whenever something started worrying me I just sat down and did the above exercise. In time it becomes second nature, and I rarely worry about things now.

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RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 12:33:27 PM

servantforuse

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From a 1960's era Porter Waggoner country song.." What is to be will be, what ain't to be just might happen"....

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RE: how do you not worry all the time? - 7/2/2009 6:24:01 PM

justme1980

Posts: 169
Joined: 6/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jeninvegas

so, how do you train yourself not to worry all the time? it's not so much anxiety but the racing of mind. the mind won't stop thinking and (over) analyzing things that are probably aren't even there to analyze at all. little things and situations gets the mind running. i can't let things be and i can't just go with a situation that i know isn't harmful without worrying about every little freakin' details...

Realizing that worring about something is not going to change anything

(in reply to jeninvegas)

Post #: 20

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