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Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 8:01:02 AM

DemonKia

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From: Chico, Nor-Cali
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I went to a class the other night, a very safety-focused bondage class, & I was quite captivated by the teacher's emphasis on 'good pain, good; bad pain, bad' . . . .

So. Do you recognize a 'good pain, bad pain' model in your life, whether you're a top or a bottom? Or is all pain good for a masochist? & is there a difference between the emotional & physical with regard to 'good pain, bad pain'?

This might seem like a silly or obvious question, but I've heard plenty of tops say some variant of 'my ______ will take whatever I dish out & like it', which to me is a whoop-whoop-whoop red flag. But I'm sure there are those for whom this is a turn-on, which is fine.

As usual, I'm hoping this might generate some interesting conversation.

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 8:07:39 AM

mistoferin

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As a masochist I can definitely tell you that there is good pain and bad pain. Obviously, stubbing your toe or slamming your fingers in the car door are examples of bad pain. Illness, headache, organic pain is bad pain. In play there is also good pain and bad pain. For me, needles (like the ones in the pics I posted in my current thread on this board) or anything stingy for me is bad pain. For me, meat mallets and baseball bats are good pain. I am sure that other masochists will disagree with my likes/dislikes though. It's an individual thing.

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 8:16:46 AM

LadyPact

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Last evening, I was sitting with some folks who wanted to do a farewell gig as I was leaving My vanilla work life here. During the night, there were some of them who had certain questions about My lifestyle, and this was one of them. The difference between good pain and bad pain.

Has anyone else ever noticed that honest sincere questions about cbt will shut people up? LOL.

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 8:18:54 AM

curiousINct

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I don't know if I'm a masochist, but at least have some of the tendencies - and there's a huge difference for me between good and bad pain. I'm a wuss about any kind of accidental pain - paper cut, cat scratches - yet something like a needle being used to scratch words/designs on my back and I'm fighting to stay awake. Even the same instrument in play that brings good pain can miss it's mark slightly and cause bad pain. I have no idea how my mind separates the two, but wish I could figure it out.

bad pain, bad. definitely.

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 8:38:16 AM

DemonKia

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From: Chico, Nor-Cali
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FR, after read thru

For me, as a masochist, bad pain is anti-erotic & will shut down any kind of sexy-sexy I might have going on; I've played with tops who ignored & dismissed my 'bad pain' communications, but they only get one chance to blow that off . . . . . That kind of dismissiveness is also a big trust-destroyer . . . . .

But I hear some tops declare that 'take it, ya know you like it' thing & that's what triggered this thread . . . . .

That & the chance to let the other masochists share their perspective.

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 8:57:38 AM

olena

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quote:

This might seem like a silly or obvious question, but I've heard plenty of tops say some variant of 'my ______ will take whatever I dish out & like it', which to me is a whoop-whoop-whoop red flag. But I'm sure there are those for whom this is a turn-on, which is fine.

I think your example is too wide of one to give some general answer.

I am not a masochist but lust for a man to dominate me with pain if that is something he enjoys. So good pain to me is any pain that he enjoys and your example is actually something I would look for in a man in that he is doing it for himself.

Good pain for me is suffering for my others pleasure or desire and bad pain would be if pan was inflicted on me for bad reasons of a man that would be abusive then in nature like out of frustration with the world and a bruised and damaged ego.

I should point out I do not do this in a casual play situation and only submit to a person I care for deeply and therefore mutual trust of him wanting to keep me safe is assumed.

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 9:31:01 AM

BarnacleBill

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Bad pain would be any level that exceeds the sub/slaves normal limits after they use their safe word. in other words do not inflict more pain then they can handle or are ready for.

Good pain is something they ready themselves for and can enjoy over the next few days. like the warm soft ache coming from some well earned bruises. Bad pain no one wants normally and Good Pain is what most prefer!

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 9:48:44 AM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BarnacleBill

Bad pain would be any level that exceeds the sub/slaves normal limits after they use their safe word. in other words do not inflict more pain then they can handle or are ready for.

Good pain is something they ready themselves for and can enjoy over the next few days. like the warm soft ache coming from some well earned bruises. Bad pain no one wants normally and Good Pain is what most prefer!

For some, "no pain" = pain, and for others, "any pain" = good pain.
And for others, "no pain, no gain."
But I would agree that "good pain" is what most prefer - of course, what one defines as "good" can vary, right?

One Barnacle's good is another Barnacle's bad...

Akasha

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 9:50:42 AM

Missokyst

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I am a masochist that can redirect pain into a calm state. That is, even if it is accidental pain it tends to shock me into peace after the initial OMG that f'ing hurts, phase. Accidental pain is doable and that includes anything to do with my back injury. I have noticed when my back muscle bothers me it takes my mind off any other negative in my life and centers me.
To date I have not met even one man that would cause me to have bad pain deliberately. But I do not play casually and I choose my mates very well. I have played hard and rough but no one yet has made me cross over into that barrier where all bets are off. I have been known to kick ass when I need to and most people I know don't cross that line. If a dominant went well beyond what he saw my reaction could tolerate he will also know I will find a way to exact revenge. My mates have always been aware of this.. lol it is sort of like porcupines fucking.. we are always wary.
I like the edge, they like it too.
Bad pain? Will likely get me into the newspapers.
Kyst

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 10:02:09 AM

Maxwell67

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-quick reply-

As a sadist I can only say that as a general rule (with some exceptions, of course) I consider any pain that I did not intend to inflict 'bad pain'. There is some pain brought on by the sub, which I have little to do with, and if she is able to learn from that experience, then that is 'good pain.' It is a matter of perspective. I have one who suffers from fibromyalgia. It is a condition that causes all sorts of pain, and generally considered 'bad pain.' However as a sadist, the thought of what she could feel at My slightest touch is actually kind of hot. I intend to help her turn what portions of that pain that treatment cannot control into 'good pain.' It is an experiment, but it is worth the shot.

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 10:50:24 AM

breatheasone

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i am a masochist. Having said that, all pain hurts me. Its just some pain i "like" to hurt me, and some i don't.

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 11:09:09 AM

pyroaquatic

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From: Pyroaquatica
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Good Pain:
Flogger, Paddle, Whip... Punching, Clothespins.... nothing too damaging.

Bad pain for me would be my knee hurting or a bug bite. I hate bug bites. I also dislike needles. Ick. That would be torture for me.

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 11:14:55 AM

agirl

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Apart from things like being cold caned in a severe fashion....I don't have any personal definition of bad or good pain (in a bdsm sense). It depends on so many variables that I would only be able to decide at the time and from moment to moment.

Poking myself with a needle, unexpectedly, while sewing wouldn't ever be welcome... but being *prepared for and being part of* something that included being poked with a needle could. Having said that...it might not be the *pain itself* that was positive and pleasurable but the shared activity and the reasons behind it.

agirl

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 11:38:51 AM

synningsub

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oddly enough, for me, its the intentions behind the pain that make it good or bad in my mind.. accidental pain is just "ow, that fucking hurts", neither good or bad really.... pain inflicted on me by others is usually categorized by their intentions at the time.. i had a long-time Dom who was shocked when i called quits after 4 strokes.. he'd been angry when he swung and i could feel it.. the blows were no harder than usual but i ended up crying for hrs cause the anger hurt so bad, when before we'd been in extremely involved sessions that left me with much worse marks than those 4 little hits... my own little quirks i guess

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 12:08:20 PM

maia09

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i don't necessarily think of it as "good and bad" pain, more pain i like and pain i don't. The doesn't always match with what Master likes and doesn't, so sometimes it is a matter of I want you to take this pain for Me - which, although i don't necessarily like the pain perse, i like knowing that bearing it makes Him happy.

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 12:40:08 PM

afterforever

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From: Belfast, NI
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In my head it's divided up into fun pain and annoying pain. Fun pain is whips, floggers, needles, and anything sharp and stingy. To a certain extent even accidental pain can be fun, once you get past the shock of not expecting it.
Annoying pain is being ill, the wiggly disc in my back, blisters on my feet, any piercings or whatever that get infected, and anything dull and constant if it goes on too long. You can whip until I bleed and I'll ask for more, but put a pair of nipple clamps on me and I'll be crying and begging to get them off.
But like the other subbies on here, pain can switch between these two categories depending on whether they're making the person inflicting them happy or not.

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 1:41:43 PM

Born2BMasochist

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To me good pain = physical pain and bad pain= psychological pain.
I can not take any type of pain meds with out having issues with them so my whole life i have learned to take the most severe pain and find pleasure with in my self to tolerate it. Just last week i managed to cut my finger and burn myself with in fifteen min of each other while cooking. So i turned to my husaband and said, "wanna fuck now" LOL.
But psychologically i am very sensitive. And tend to get hurt by simple situations.

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 2:01:50 PM

kitastrophe33

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You know, when I first read your post, my thought was "There's *definitely* a difference between good pain and bad pain." Bad pain is not erotic. You want bad pain to stop. But what makes some pain bad? That's harder to pin down.

For me, injury potential has a lot to do with it. Pain caused by an imperfect bondage tie that is cutting off circulation to my hand is bad pain. For me, cuttings, brandings, even needle play, is out because the damage to the skin triggers my injury radar, making that pain "bad pain." It's almost certainly different for other people, but it's that tissue injury thing that differentiates it for me. Oddly, bruising apparently doesn't count as injury. I frequently end up all bruised without having experienced any "bad pain."

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 2:50:18 PM

whiteslavebitch

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I definitely have a different response to "good pain" vs. "bad pain". Of course dental pain, stubbing my toe, etc. don't give me an erotic response, but there are sensations during play that are difficult for me to handle that I would call "bad pain". I take it for his pleasure as long as I can tolerate, but he always knows when it's getting to be to much for me (it could be the way I'm trying to move out of the way of the strikes

). "Good pain" I can take for hours and will put me into subspace faster than you can snap your fingers.

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RE: Good Pain / Bad Pain - 6/29/2009 3:03:28 PM

BOUNTYHUNTER

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fast reply....All pain is good pain however there is different levels with different players.Our girls are pain FREAKS so we have to watch that we as responisble owners don't let their gluttony for pain doesn't get out of hand and yes bad pain for me is this damm ankle that won't quit hurting smile..

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