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Petitioning - 6/23/2009 5:55:49 PM

kubens

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/10/2007
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Recently my wonderful Domme has purchased a very nice collar for me. She says that if i wish to wear it--which of course i do--i'll have to petition Her for the honor. I've been researching the issue, and haven't had much luck find good information on it. And so i'd like to hear from folks in the CM community on this whole issue. What does it entail? How does it differ from contracts? Etc.

Any help would be most appreciated, whether posted here or if you can direct me to other sources--websites, etc.

Thanks,
kubens

Post #: 1

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 6:32:04 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kubens

Recently my wonderful Domme has purchased a very nice collar for me. She says that if i wish to wear it--which of course i do--i'll have to petition Her for the honor. I've been researching the issue, and haven't had much luck find good information on it. And so i'd like to hear from folks in the CM community on this whole issue. What does it entail? How does it differ from contracts? Etc.

Any help would be most appreciated, whether posted here or if you can direct me to other sources--websites, etc.

Thanks,
kubens

Sounds like she wants you to beg her for it. But to get a really helpful answer, you'd hafta ask HER exactly what she has in mind. Does she want you to get down on your knees and beg for it? Write a 1,000 page treatise? How the hell are we supposed to know?

If you two have such sucky communication to begin with, I wouldn't recommend you ask for her collar at this time.

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(in reply to kubens)

Post #: 2

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 6:32:30 PM

NihilusZero

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From: Nashville, TN
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It sounds like she just wants you to beg for it. Aside from that I have no idea what she would have meant by "petition" and, if she hasn't divulged that information to you, then that complicates things.

She's interested enough to have bought you the collar...yet appears to want one final testament of your devotion. You would know best what that may entail long before the rest of us divine it from mere guessing.

_____________________________

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Post #: 3

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 6:36:57 PM

RedMagic1

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Does she want you to ask her to marry you?

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Post #: 4

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 6:58:31 PM

sweetsub1957

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Is She wanting you to beg the collar from Her, wanting you to profess your love & devotion to Her? If Sir said that to me, that's what I'd do.

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Post #: 5

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 7:05:59 PM

kubens

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/10/2007
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Dreamerdreaming, I'm simply trying to get some healthy discussion about petitioning, what it is, what it means etc. If you choose to think our communcation is "sucky"-- whatver that means, so be it. If you have any good advice I'd like to hear it, if not, please leave the thread for those who do.

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Post #: 6

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 7:14:15 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kubens

Dreamerdreaming, I'm simply trying to get some healthy discussion about petitioning, what it is, what it means etc. If you choose to think our communcation is "sucky"-- whatver that means, so be it. If you have any good advice I'd like to hear it, if not, please leave the thread for those who do.

You're working under the presumption that "petitioning" is a hotword for a specific set or protocols in BDSM. It isn't (to my knowledge). And, even if it was, it's likely not universally applicable.

Seriously...if I come in here I lay out this detailed list of acts that qualifies as "official petitioning" and you do it...and it's not what she wanted, who's going to be to blame?

Does she espouse beliefs relating to spirituality, karma, magic(k) and/or fate?

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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Post #: 7

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 7:19:24 PM

SmokingGun82

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kubens
If you choose to think our communcation is "sucky"-- whatver that means, so be it.

He means it sucks. As in, it is not good. Bad. Inefficient. Unacceptable. Consult a thesaurus for more options. In short, if you don't know, and can't just ask her, then you're starting from a shitty spot. Good luck with that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kubens
If you have any good advice I'd like to hear it, if not, please leave the thread for those who do.

My advice is ask whoever wants the petitioning done to explain. When I hear petition I think of signatures and fruitless attempts to save TV shows. She might have another opinion.

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Post #: 8

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 7:25:52 PM

kubens

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/10/2007
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Ok, apparently I made a mistake trying to get info here. This is supposed to be 'only' about petitioning, not rash judgements about the quality of communication between my Domme and I. The fact is we have a very healthy relationship, and I see know reason for people here to jump to the conclusion that we don't have good comminucation.

(in reply to SmokingGun82)

Post #: 9

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 7:28:58 PM

SmokingGun82

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You're asking about a term that isn't commonly used, and want to know what one specific person wants it to mean.

Ask them. No one else can answer that question.

Or, you can try writing her name in every library book in one section. That would certainly prove devotion, and she'd be forced to accept you forever and ever.

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to kubens)

Post #: 10

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 7:28:59 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
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Perhaps I'm overly snarky tonight. My bad.

I seriously gave you my best advice:

1) Ask her!

2) Hold off on the whole collar thing until you two have better communication.

The two of you having such basic trouble with communication doesn't bode well for your future together. If sugar coating would make my post more palatable for you, I'm sorry. I'm just not up for that.

Her being so vague in her requirements about something that is presumeably very important to her (again I can only guess- you'd hafta ask her what it means to her).... and you asking us for clarification (about something that is evidently very important to you) instead of asking her- you don't see big trouble on the horizon?

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Post #: 11

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 7:28:59 PM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kubens

Ok, apparently I made a mistake trying to get info here. This is supposed to be 'only' about petitioning, not rash judgements about the quality of communication between my Domme and I. The fact is we have a very healthy relationship, and I see know reason for people here to jump to the conclusion that we don't have good comminucation.

If you have such good communication why have you not asked her what she means by petitioning. She is the only one that can tell you. It is certainly not a term I have ever come across as a bdsm term.

(in reply to kubens)

Post #: 12

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 7:34:44 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kubens

Ok, apparently I made a mistake trying to get info here. This is supposed to be 'only' about petitioning, not rash judgements about the quality of communication between my Domme and I. The fact is we have a very healthy relationship, and I see know reason for people here to jump to the conclusion that we don't have good comminucation.

Stop for a moment to take in the fact that these comments are not being made as personal attacks. The reason communication is being brought up is because if you knew what "petitioning" meant to her, you wouldn't need to ask the question.

The two most likely answers are the following:

a) She wants you to beg. A lot. Via the words and actions that you (as a good sub) should know please her most.
b) She wants you to guess (and guess right) a semi-specific response that she's looking for, which she hasn't told you about because she's hoping that you magically divining the correct answer will be metaphysical proof that you are the karmic/fateful one worthy of being kept.

On the bright side, your ability to make the most of either of these situations will be aided by how attentive you have been to her quirks/likes/dislikes...something I'd hope you've been quite apt at.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 6/23/2009 7:36:08 PM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
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(in reply to kubens)

Post #: 13

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 7:42:23 PM

danielh

Posts: 22
Joined: 3/21/2008
Status: offline

From Wipipedia via Google... not that I'd take it to the bank over the opinions here, but obviously something that's out there, so I wouldn't come down too hard here over the term.

"Petition
The petition acts in the same manner as a cover letter for a résumé. In a petition a submissive will make their plea to the Dominant and may outline why they are seeking to be in service to the Dominant. Generally not used with a relationship that existed prior to the contract, however, for a submissive who is in search of a Dominant, this feature helps to show professionalism and attention to detail. The petition should go into detail of your request, why you wish to be in service, your goals, and why you've chosen this Dominant specifically."

If you need a dictionary, somethings missing here. Just a word... funky... but a word. You want to be there, just go with it, and make her happy dude (or else!).

(in reply to susie)

Post #: 14

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 7:47:27 PM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

No No No---asking a question like this of strangers here is like petitioning the fans at Yankee stadium on how to propose.

Dude, She is Your Mistress, this isn't rocket science, She is a woman in Domina's clothing---this has to be from YOUR heart, YOUR soul, YOUR originality, you know Her, think about it and I guarantee you will know what to say and know what to do.

<hint: don't mention your talented tongue, your need for chastity, your acquiescence to a strapon--do mention your desire to serve in the face of the fires of hell and you might get Her attention>

< Message edited by CatdeMedici -- 6/23/2009 8:06:43 PM >

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Post #: 15

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 8:02:02 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Dude, She is Your Mistress, this isn't rocket science, She is a woman in Domina's clothing---this has to be from YOUR heart, YOUR soul, YOUR originality, you know Her, think about it and I guarantee you will know what to say and know what to do.

Bingo. If she cares enough about you to collar you, she knows your soul. She wants you to pour out your soul to her.

Go do it!!!

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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Post #: 16

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 8:10:59 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
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For what it's worth, I've heard femdoms use the term "petitioner" to describe a sub male who is requesting a relationship. It might be a term local to the San Francisco Bay Area. My sense of how it was used was in a new-person context, like a first meet or a job interview. I've never heard it used to describe a more serious relationship. A phrase like, "Beg for my Master/Mistress's collar," is one I've heard to request the start of a serious relationship, especially of slavehood.

kubens, I strongly agree with dreamerdreaming, and SmokingGun... and everyone else who agrees with the two of them!

I also noticed that you took umbrage at the comments you didn't like, but didn't address my own question at all. So yeah. Your communication skills on this message board ain't so great. Maybe they don't completely rock in real life either. How about: "May I ask what you mean by petition, Mistress?"

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 17

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 8:42:11 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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A petition is usually a request for something. It sometimes includes all the conditions that go along with the request but it doesn't have to. It also sometimes includes all the 'promises' that come with the request, but doesn't have to. Often, a petition is the subs/slaves side of a contract.

Master Fire

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Post #: 18

RE: Petitioning - 6/23/2009 9:48:31 PM

MakeMeSmile4U

Posts: 710
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From: South Florida
Status: offline

Kubens,

My Dominant also requested a petition from me before he would take our relationship out of 'vanilla' mode. I didnt have a clue as to what he wanted and thought about giving him a short note that said "Pick me, pick meeee!!!" but I knew that would fly, so I did some research.... came up with crap, then asked him directly what he wanted. All he really said was he wanted something in writing that told him why I wanted to be his sub. Specifically, what I wanted out of the relationship and what I thought I could bring into the relationship. If you would like, send me a Cmail and I will send you the format I used, but basically I wrote it like a personal history/resume. The first half was very clinical. I started with a brief summary of my childhood (good relationship with both parents and siblings) medical history of things that are pertinent (like my 2 herniated disks..he needs to know about that so I dont end up in any positions to worsen that condition). The second half was more personal... I explained why I thought he was the perfect Dom for me and why I thought I could learn to be a fantastic submissive for him. I told him all my wants and desires, those that were personal and those that included him.

He accepted :)

I would venture to say your Domme just wants to hear whats in your heart, as mine did.

Good Luck!!!

_____________________________

"And of course you can't become if you only say what you would have done, so I missed a million miles of fun"~Len

"Do all those things that you do to me, ya know what I mean boy... Do all those things that you do to me, yeah.." ~The Cult

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Post #: 19

RE: Petitioning - 6/24/2009 10:55:49 AM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kubens

Ok, apparently I made a mistake trying to get info here. This is supposed to be 'only' about petitioning, not rash judgements about the quality of communication between my Domme and I. The fact is we have a very healthy relationship, and I see know reason for people here to jump to the conclusion that we don't have good comminucation.

Ok don't get your undies in a knot, many are just trying to get you to be more clear and specific about what you are asking based on the little blurb you wrote. It is possible she wants to see what lengths you will go to in order to wear her collar, nothing more. The suggestion of going back and specifically asking her "What she means by petition" is sound as you'll know exactly what she requires of you. Another suggestion is to sit down and write 2-3 pages expressing why you so want/need/crave/desire to wear that collar. I am only guessing here but it sounds like she wants to see what lengths you will go to beg for that collar being placed around your neck.

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Post #: 20

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