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Is it possible ? - 6/23/2009 1:39:25 PM   
LadyHexx


Posts: 48
Joined: 2/27/2009
Status: offline 		For a Female Domina to train a Male Dom? Im trying to train my sub into being a Dom, see, he subs, but only for me, and is otherwise very Dom in personality. Im trying to train him, and help him along with Dominating his own submissive, but Im starting to wonder if I should just send him off to one of my male Dom friends for training? What Im asking, is would it be more beneficial for me to continue his training myself, or to send him off to another male, for that unique persective. ??
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RE: Is it possible ? - 6/23/2009 1:41:32 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Why not? I have learned a great deal from all persuasions. Hell, I've learned the most from men and women that identify as submissives or slaves.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Is it possible ? - 6/23/2009 1:50:22 PM   
LadyHexx


Posts: 48
Joined: 2/27/2009
Status: offline 		I just dont know if male Doms dominate different that Females. If they do, then it would be best to have him trianed by a male right?

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Is it possible ? - 6/23/2009 5:21:02 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I think of male and female subs as being more different from each other than male and female Doms are.

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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Is it possible ? - 6/23/2009 5:24:27 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		As long as you are training him, he's not being dominant. He needs a variety of people to learn from, including books, workshops and people bottoming to him. But his style may be very different from yours so to have you as his only teacher will not help him develop his own style. Teach him how to use a flogger safely, how to restrain, how long clamps should be on, color changes in skin to watch out for - techniques certainly can be taught. But dominance needs freedom to flourish.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Is it possible ? - 6/23/2009 5:25:38 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		I think it's fine - you're Female AND you know Top techniques.

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RE: Is it possible ? - 6/23/2009 5:27:35 PM   
LadyHexx


Posts: 48
Joined: 2/27/2009
Status: offline 		I know that Im just guiding him, Im not standing over his shoulder whispering in his ear, and I know that he needs to find his own style, I meant more for mental domination, because female subs and male subs are super different and do it for different reasons, that was what I was getting at.

(in reply to MistressDolly)
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RE: Is it possible ? - 6/23/2009 5:29:47 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Okay wait a minute.  This is the same submissive whose mother is emotionally blackmailing him and he is acting dom becasue the family will disown him if he isn't dom and you are struggling with these issues?  Then you are trying to teach him to be dominant to someone else?



Pick you battles and beware of overload.  This isn't making sense.

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RE: Is it possible ? - 6/23/2009 5:29:59 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHexx

I know that Im just guiding him, Im not standing over his shoulder whispering in his ear, and I know that he needs to find his own style, I meant more for mental domination, because female subs and male subs are super different and do it for different reasons, that was what I was getting at.


Does he want to dominate her beyond sexual play?

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RE: Is it possible ? - 6/23/2009 5:44:19 PM   
LdyWintershade


Posts: 41
Joined: 6/9/2009
Status: offline 		I think it is absolutely possible.  I've trained several subs to become Dom/mes, whether male or female.  The only time I think it becomes a problem, is if he want to be Gorean Master...in that case, I think it would be better for him to learn from a male Dom, simply because of the nature of the Gorean style.  Aside from that, I admit that learning from you as a basis is perfectly fine.  However, I agree he will need exposure to multiple styles and sources of information, as well as the invaluable input from the submissives/slaves under him.  He will develop his own unique style from that.  Good luck. :)

(in reply to MistressDolly)
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RE: Is it possible ? - 6/23/2009 5:48:59 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Okay wait a minute.  This is the same submissive whose mother is emotionally blackmailing him and he is acting dom becasue the family will disown him if he isn't dom and you are struggling with these issues?  Then you are trying to teach him to be dominant to someone else?



Pick you battles and beware of overload.  This isn't making sense.


Lockit,
This is too, too funny.  I just asked the very same thing over on the Ask a Submissive Board, whether this is the same submissive she's talking about in both places.  lmao

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Is it possible ? - 6/23/2009 5:49:51 PM   
LadyHexx


Posts: 48
Joined: 2/27/2009
Status: offline 		@ lockit, yes it is the same submissive, and I am doing what I can to humour him.. Doing my girlfriendly duitys instead of my Domme duitys. Im doing it, incase I am wrong and he really is a Dom. I am 99% sure he isnt, but what if Im wrong?

He wants a submissive for just housework etc, not sex, as we arent currently polyamourous.

Im confused...really. Everyone else I've talked to about this seems to think I should have all the answers.

(in reply to LdyWintershade)
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RE: Is it possible ? - 6/23/2009 5:55:19 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHexx
Im confused...really. Everyone else I've talked to about this seems to think I should have all the answers.

Well, I'm not confused.  I'm very clear on the fact that you don't have all the answers.  I am also clear on the fact that you are not going to get the answers by "just talkin" to people who happen to identify as kinky.  You clearly care about this guy.  The two of you need to figure this out, together, with an actual counselor.

But, fact fact fact -- as long as he takes bedroom advice from his mother more seriously than from you, you will never be his equal in a relationship, much less his domme.  You both will be her subs, forever.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyHexx)
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RE: Is it possible ? - 6/23/2009 5:57:24 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHexx

I know that Im just guiding him, Im not standing over his shoulder whispering in his ear, and I know that he needs to find his own style, I meant more for mental domination, because female subs and male subs are super different and do it for different reasons, that was what I was getting at.


Does he want to dominate her beyond sexual play?


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHexx
I meant more for mental domination.


Teaching someone topping techniques is easy. But if he wants to dominate a woman beyond physical / sensual kink play, the onus is on him to learn about the Female he wishes to engage. If a woman wants to be controlled outside the bedroom, it's going to be a very personal and individual thing.


_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


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RE: Is it possible ? - 6/23/2009 9:05:15 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		That Red is so smart!  I should marry him. 

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[page 23 girl]



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RE: Is it possible ? - 6/24/2009 6:22:56 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		/jealous of RedMagic/  

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Is it possible ? - 6/24/2009 9:00:17 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Lucky you, I am poly!

OP--- on reading your posts again, the big kicker is where you say you are "humouring him".  Not a good thing, in a trainer...

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[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 17
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