Is it possible ?

Is it possible ? (Full Version)

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LadyHexx -> Is it possible ? (6/23/2009 1:39:25 PM)
For a Female Domina to train a Male Dom? Im trying to train my sub into being a Dom, see, he subs, but only for me, and is otherwise very Dom in personality. Im trying to train him, and help him along with Dominating his own submissive, but Im starting to wonder if I should just send him off to one of my male Dom friends for training? What Im asking, is would it be more beneficial for me to continue his training myself, or to send him off to another male, for that unique persective. ??

LaTigresse -> RE: Is it possible ? (6/23/2009 1:41:32 PM)
Why not? I have learned a great deal from all persuasions. Hell, I've learned the most from men and women that identify as submissives or slaves.

LadyHexx -> RE: Is it possible ? (6/23/2009 1:50:22 PM)
I just dont know if male Doms dominate different that Females. If they do, then it would be best to have him trianed by a male right?

DarkSteven -> RE: Is it possible ? (6/23/2009 5:21:02 PM)
I think of male and female subs as being more different from each other than male and female Doms are.

DesFIP -> RE: Is it possible ? (6/23/2009 5:24:27 PM)
As long as you are training him, he's not being dominant. He needs a variety of people to learn from, including books, workshops and people bottoming to him. But his style may be very different from yours so to have you as his only teacher will not help him develop his own style. Teach him how to use a flogger safely, how to restrain, how long clamps should be on, color changes in skin to watch out for - techniques certainly can be taught. But dominance needs freedom to flourish.

MistressDolly -> RE: Is it possible ? (6/23/2009 5:25:38 PM)
I think it's fine - you're Female AND you know Top techniques.

LadyHexx -> RE: Is it possible ? (6/23/2009 5:27:35 PM)
I know that Im just guiding him, Im not standing over his shoulder whispering in his ear, and I know that he needs to find his own style, I meant more for mental domination, because female subs and male subs are super different and do it for different reasons, that was what I was getting at.

Lockit -> RE: Is it possible ? (6/23/2009 5:29:47 PM)
Okay wait a minute. This is the same submissive whose mother is emotionally blackmailing him and he is acting dom becasue the family will disown him if he isn't dom and you are struggling with these issues? Then you are trying to teach him to be dominant to someone else? [sm=ugh.gif] Pick you battles and beware of overload. This isn't making sense.

MistressDolly -> RE: Is it possible ? (6/23/2009 5:29:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHexx I know that Im just guiding him, Im not standing over his shoulder whispering in his ear, and I know that he needs to find his own style, I meant more for mental domination, because female subs and male subs are super different and do it for different reasons, that was what I was getting at. Does he want to dominate her beyond sexual play?

LdyWintershade -> RE: Is it possible ? (6/23/2009 5:44:19 PM)
I think it is absolutely possible. I've trained several subs to become Dom/mes, whether male or female. The only time I think it becomes a problem, is if he want to be Gorean Master...in that case, I think it would be better for him to learn from a male Dom, simply because of the nature of the Gorean style. Aside from that, I admit that learning from you as a basis is perfectly fine. However, I agree he will need exposure to multiple styles and sources of information, as well as the invaluable input from the submissives/slaves under him. He will develop his own unique style from that. Good luck. :)

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Is it possible ? (6/23/2009 5:48:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Okay wait a minute. This is the same submissive whose mother is emotionally blackmailing him and he is acting dom becasue the family will disown him if he isn't dom and you are struggling with these issues? Then you are trying to teach him to be dominant to someone else? [sm=ugh.gif] Pick you battles and beware of overload. This isn't making sense. Lockit, This is too, too funny. I just asked the very same thing over on the Ask a Submissive Board, whether this is the same submissive she's talking about in both places. lmao

LadyHexx -> RE: Is it possible ? (6/23/2009 5:49:51 PM)
@ lockit, yes it is the same submissive, and I am doing what I can to humour him.. Doing my girlfriendly duitys instead of my Domme duitys. Im doing it, incase I am wrong and he really is a Dom. I am 99% sure he isnt, but what if Im wrong? He wants a submissive for just housework etc, not sex, as we arent currently polyamourous. Im confused...really. Everyone else I've talked to about this seems to think I should have all the answers.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Is it possible ? (6/23/2009 5:55:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHexx Im confused...really. Everyone else I've talked to about this seems to think I should have all the answers. Well, I'm not confused. I'm very clear on the fact that you don't have all the answers. I am also clear on the fact that you are not going to get the answers by "just talkin" to people who happen to identify as kinky. You clearly care about this guy. The two of you need to figure this out, together, with an actual counselor. But, fact fact fact -- as long as he takes bedroom advice from his mother more seriously than from you, you will never be his equal in a relationship, much less his domme. You both will be her subs, forever.

MistressDolly -> RE: Is it possible ? (6/23/2009 5:57:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDolly quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHexx I know that Im just guiding him, Im not standing over his shoulder whispering in his ear, and I know that he needs to find his own style, I meant more for mental domination, because female subs and male subs are super different and do it for different reasons, that was what I was getting at. Does he want to dominate her beyond sexual play? quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHexx I meant more for mental domination. Teaching someone topping techniques is easy. But if he wants to dominate a woman beyond physical / sensual kink play, the onus is on him to learn about the Female he wishes to engage. If a woman wants to be controlled outside the bedroom, it's going to be a very personal and individual thing.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is it possible ? (6/23/2009 9:05:15 PM)
That Red is so smart! I should marry him. [;)]

DarkSteven -> RE: Is it possible ? (6/24/2009 6:22:56 PM)
/jealous of RedMagic/ [:@]

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is it possible ? (6/24/2009 9:00:17 PM)
Lucky you, I am poly![;)] OP--- on reading your posts again, the big kicker is where you say you are "humouring him". Not a good thing, in a trainer...

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