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RE: Dominant woman seeking more Dominant man= sub? - 6/25/2009 1:29:48 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

"keep looking and eventually you'll find the right guy" solution.


I would vote for "ditch the definitions, stop the looking" and let life just happen. I was struck by your profile, where you state that "your butt is not as big as it looks". I thought it was a nice curvy picture, until you attracted my attention to it - for no reason, other than that you criticized the picture you yourself took, but then posted it. What's my point? "Big" is a definition - your definition. Definitions without function are counterproductive. You're awash in them. Dominant. Not Submissive. More Dominant. Less Dominant. Big. Your butt is as big as it looks, and if you don't like the size of it, don't take pictures of it. No picture, no need to define.



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RE: Dominant woman seeking more Dominant man= sub? - 6/25/2009 6:53:15 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		i can not stand chaos I like structure I like labels it tells me this what i want what i expect but reality is you never get what you want or expect you just work with in the means But you never have to put up with negitive peeps who are self destructive or combantant

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RE: Dominant woman seeking more Dominant man= sub? - 6/25/2009 7:03:43 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Stone the bloody crows LB. This is a landmark post. You have posted something in which I am in complete agreement with...... Good on yer mate. 

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RE: Dominant woman seeking more Dominant man= sub? - 6/25/2009 9:27:20 AM   
Screwtape


Posts: 29
Joined: 6/9/2009
Status: offline 		Interesting situation your faced with.  I agree with many posters but I am in a D/D relationship and it is the most rewarding and challenging thing I have ever had the pleasure of suffering through.  If you are up for the challenge you will have to be VERY patient.

Dual/Dueling Doms can be very tricky. I cannot speak to the general community as I haven't met any people that knowingly choose this relationship.  It is a potential... I believe someone posted the term "train wreck".  If you or your partner are not confident enough.  And in my experience it usually ends in failure.  It to me 15 years to find the right person.

My advice is really look into what dominance means to you.  A theme you might have noticed echoed though many posts.  Until you truly understand yourself you will have a difficult time finding that special someone.

I agree that labeling but not in the traditional sense.  I think of labels as a way to cut the field in half so to speak.  Labels are not bad but they can become meaningless quickly.  If you are serious about partnering with a dominant man you will have to dance a fine line on this subject.  Labels are not roles unless you choose to accept them.  Your dilemma rests in the fact that you will likely cut your potential partners out by stating your dominant inclinations.  Have you considered the switch community?

There are some very interesting people in the switch community you might discuss this subject with.  Few people really want to wear the dominant role 24/7 and some switches lean towards a heavy D personality.  There are many people that identify as switches even though you would never know it meeting them face to face.  This might be interesting to you or perhaps just solidify your desire for a D/D relationship.


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RE: Dominant woman seeking more Dominant man= sub? - 6/26/2009 4:12:39 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		My first thought when reading the post below would be to explore why your vanilla relationships have not been successful and see if there are any patterns or things you could possibly learn from in your own behaviours and attitudes before hoping to find a successful d/s relationship. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky
So don't get me wrong. I've dated vanilla men. I just haven't had any luck.


The other thing for me is that I wonder if rather than being dominant it is more that you are unyielding and again I would wonder if this is something that could be worked on by you.

Thinking about the friends I have in d/s relationships, all of them have some give and take and from your posts I can't see how much 'give' you are willing to offer to someone. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

That's how I feel Osidegirl. I actually bring out submission in men. On here anyways. They see that I have a dominant personality and, all of the sudden it's, "Man you make me feel so submissive. Ever thought about dominating? I may be a Dom but I do like women to take charge. Especially one like you." Ugh.



Don't let what happens online be your yardstick for all d/s interactions.  My own experience is that a number of men online say similar things to me and I actually wonder if they simply feel that if they say this to enough women they will eventually get one who says 'wow you are right, I do want to be a dominant, please let me be your domme' 

I realise I haven't answered your question - sorry


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(in reply to rednicky)
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RE: Dominant woman seeking more Dominant man= sub? - 6/26/2009 5:03:18 AM   
ChasingOblivion


Posts: 125
Joined: 5/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I'm very dominant. At work and in social situations, I tend to take the lead and be an alpha. Many "D" types find me non-submissive. I attract submissive men, but I'm unhappy being the driving force in a relationship. What it takes for my submissive side to come out is finding someone who is more dominant than I am. It seriously narrowed my dating pool, but it was so worth it.


See, now that describes me perfectly. But I agree that it does narrow down my options. Most D types don't find me submissive enough either, but vanilla men grate on my nerves and are usually disturbed by my sexual proclivities.
In part, at least in terms of the sexual issues, I blame our ultra-sensitive politically correct culture that drills into man's heads that no sex act is consensual unless express permission is granted prior to every sexual act including foreplay and release forms are signed in triplicate.
Although that may be a slight exageration.


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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Dominant woman seeking more Dominant man= sub? - 6/26/2009 5:31:05 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		FR

If you read profiles, many dominant men prefer women who are Alpha types in the business world as submissive partners.

No one is going to be able to force you into submission if you don't want to go there with them.
A dom patner may be able to inspire you.
However, you are still going to have to have the desire to submit to him.

As for men with submissive tendencies wanting you to top them... I hate to burst your bubble nicky, but that happens to me all the time and I am not dominant at all.
They just have the desire to submit.



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RE: Dominant woman seeking more Dominant man= sub? - 6/26/2009 7:08:02 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		but there are those times when you can fall into the passion trap. there are doms who want to see if they can capture a domme. I have seen it vise versa. I am sure of the reality of success I am sure the chances are very slim

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Dominant woman seeking more Dominant man= sub? - 6/26/2009 8:14:08 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		your dominant nature is part of your person and contributes to you as a whole. if someone has difficulty accepting this their problem lies in you, and it is clear they aren't a suitable match. just because a dominant has issues with someone that is both independent, in control, and aware of these things and does them effectively doesn't imply there's anything wrong with being this way. he may simply prefer someone less independent/dominant whatever label you wish to affix, or he may be the type of dominant that prefers/needs someone he views as weaker/more in need of his leadership.

actually your problem is more common than you might expect. while you have indicated you don't wish to yield in the manner we associate with submission, many submissive persons have similar challenges when they are capable as yourself of being in control and do so with frequency. i don't think you're seeking a needle in a haystack, but i will recommend you find someone that challenges you mentally. he has to be on par with you or preferably above or it will become unbalanced. look for someone concerned with growth, demonstrated capacity in leadership, and who enjoys taking the ball and running with it. people of this nature may see your behavior as an asset and not a threat to be contained. i wish you luck on your search.

porcelaine


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Profile   Post #: 49
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