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RE: Is it rude? - 6/13/2009 5:54:31 PM

Zechriel

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Good evening!
It totally depends on what your relationship is like. In ours, it would be super rude. and I would probably hurt him to the quick. Many of his past subs took advantage of him so asking him for more would most likely bring back bad memories.Daddy's so old fashioned and very very private so any gift giving is HUGE. I should be thankful for what he gives me and not ask for specifics. Even when he picked his personal cuffs and collar for me, it was his choice not mine. Now I do not wear any collars 24/7 but do have an angel pin I keep inside my purse and an Indian keychain on my keys he gave me. That reminds me I am his. But I did not pick those out, he gave them to me, just as he gave me bunches of costume jewelry. I know how special that is cause it was his mother's. To ask for a certain piece or say, "It is not my style" is just wrong. I cannot even imagine the look in his eyes.
If your Master is more open then by all means explain your dilemma but if he is old fashioned and may take offense, then reserve your requests and wear what you have the best way you can. Just be careful,good luck.
Love,
Zechriel

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Post #: 21

RE: Is it rude? - 6/14/2009 4:05:40 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kitastrophe33

My partner recently gave me a collar (the first one he's ever given. I truly do feel honored). I love it. He picked a lovely color and it's super comfortable. I just want to wear it all the time, lol. The only trouble is that, depending on what I'm wearing (clothingwise), it's not always as subtle as I'd like for wearing in the vanilla world. His goal is for me to wear it as much as possible, without it causing trouble in my personal/professional life. He's not trying to go for some humiliation thing by making me wear a really obvious collar or anything like that.

I know lots of people have a necklace or something they wear as their public collar. But I really like the weight and feel of an actual collar. I'm wondering...Would it be rude to ask if I can maybe have one or two other ones to better coordinate with some of the things that I wear that won't look right with the one he gave me? It's not that I don't like the one he picked. I love it. I just can't wear it every day like I want to, without it being a detriment to my professional life (and social life).

Of course my intentions are good, but what do you think?

You know your chap better than anyone here...... Do YOU think he'd find it rude or a slight? It depends on yourself and him, your personalities and what is important to each of you.

I wear a heavy chain that isn't particularly attractive, it is quite masculine and not the type of thing most women of my age would have around their necks. I don't really care that it doesn't *match*, or something I might have chosen. The significant thing has always been that it's mine, it was placed on me by him and whether I'd have *liked* something different or not has never entered my mind. People might look at me and think I have *bad taste* .......I'm wearing it because I had good taste in him.

You have to judge for yourself whether any difficulties or embarrassment are significant. Your life isn't like anyone else's.

agirl

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RE: Is it rude? - 6/14/2009 11:11:49 AM

Andalusite

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I'm surprised that several people mentioned bells, as they wouldn't be appropriate in most professional environments (ie. business office, teaching, etc.).

Since the collar does go with some of your clothes just fine, I'd first modify my wardrobe as much as possible to allow for wearing the collar. Alternatively, I could say something along the lines of, "I love the collar, it's beautiful and special to me, but I'm concerned about how my boss and co-workers will perceive it. Do you only want me to wear it in private?"

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RE: Is it rude? - 6/14/2009 2:32:42 PM

RLMK

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If your fella does like the idea (and I suspect he might, I've had a thing for putting necklaces on women before I knew BDSM existed.), Tiffany's makes a variety of very discrete, padlock necklaces. Now, if you could find a functional padlock that would be appropriate holding a necklace, you'd really have something...

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RE: Is it rude? - 6/14/2009 2:39:24 PM

porcelaine

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i don't feel it is rude to inquire. you are attempting to do as he wishes and recognize that your collar may not be appropriate in certain environments. you can elect for a piece of jewelry of varying forms as has been suggested, or consider having a custom made collar that may suit your needs and alleviate the need to change.

this is a reputable company that offers that service: http://collarfactory.com/welcome

good luck.

porcelaine

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RE: Is it rude? - 6/15/2009 1:43:10 AM

EmelineRose

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Personally I definitely would not ask him for extra collars as it were. I would however explain that the one you have (making it clear how much you love it) isn't suitable for all occasions and discuss with him whether it is okay not to wear it sometimes and why. That way he could offer a more discreet necklace type collar if he wished but you wouldn't place any expectation on him which I do think would be a little rude. Good luck.

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RE: Is it rude? - 6/15/2009 9:37:52 AM

MistressMeltz

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I think that you should be able to present it to him in the same manner you presented it on this forum.

Talk about it with the person that matters the most your Mr.

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RE: Is it rude? - 6/16/2009 7:30:14 AM

kitastrophe33

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Thanks for the input! (I've been out of town, so I just now was able to get to read the responses). He actually surprised me by suggesting it himself. He says he thinks the one I have looks incredibly hot (and I agree) but as he was dropping me off at the airport to go home to visit friends, he looked at me and said "maybe you should not wear that when you're around people who know you, but don't know about your relationship style."

By the time I got off the plane in Pittsburgh he had texted me saying that we should go shopping together when I get back so that he can have me try things on. He wants me to wear something 24/7. We were on the same wavelength already, so that's nice. Perhaps that's a good omen for our relationship. :)

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Post #: 28