RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much!

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RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/29/2009 3:32:15 PM

janiebelle

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That's a sweet image, Lockit.
I have a similar memory of my LH. When he built me a kennel for the dogs, or bought me a truck to go to dog shows, those were nice "husband" gifts.
One time he came in with a "surprise" for me. I opened it to find a crock pot. I kid you not. A BIG freakin' crock pot. He noticed the "WTF" look on my face and explained that he didn't like to see me get stressed when I was trying to manage doing my stuff around the house and always running into the kitchen to check the pot of chickens stewing for the dogs. So, he went out and ordered me the biggest crock pot he could find so I could throw the birds in there, plug it in, and forget it until I needed them.
That was one of the most thoughtful gifts I ever got. An item I didn't even know I needed or wanted, but an item he wanted me to have to make my life better.
j

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 21

RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/29/2009 4:45:29 PM

SimplyMichael

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Joined: 1/7/2007
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To me, without love, none of the rest of this holds much interest to me.
I learned a lot about this stuff by reading the book on love languages, I learned that big gifts really don't mean much to me but little things like a special book, carry great weight.

I love things dark and twisted, enough so that many of my interests go unspoken and only hinted at, that said, I couldn't love a woman if I couldn't be romantic with her. Leaving work early so I could have a bubble bath ready after finding out her day sucked, a cold margarita ready for her when she got home. Tulips, blood red tulips, tender blossoms not yet open so they open themselves first for her. For me, small things can mean so much to me, a wink at just the right moment, a wicked thought whispered in my ear, finding some note or thing left for me to find.

To me, a HUGE part of any relationship has to be making sure the other person feels more special than they ever have, more loved, safer, and that they are the center of everything for you. Not in the "I am perfect" sort of way but in the way of making sure they are a priority, even if you are busy, even if you are distracted by work or school. I think if more dominants got that part, there would be a lot more submitting going on.

I love serving breakfast in bed, I love having coffee brought to me, I have had beautiful picnics created for me, and I have enjoyed simple ones with breathtaking views. I think it is anticipatory service, surprises that really do it for me, ones that show they really "get" me.

And hell, even "dark and twisted" can be done romanticly, I think that is why so many woman love things like True Blood and Twilight. Imagine a beautiful hand painted notecard, with an invitation written in script using red letters asking "I wish to feed on you tonight, prepare yourself" delivered with a dozen red roses with the thorns still on them early enough in the afternoon for her imagination to run wild.

Or perhaps an elegant invitation to a candlelit dinner, she would know I make a wonderful rissotto, and perhaps she has been begging me to make some decadent dessert, perhaps a rich fluffy cheesecake. Except when she comes home, there is only one plate and one set of silverware. There are however, two chairs, one with cuffs for her arms and feet, she is to be hand fed by me, as much or as little as I fancy to feed her.

The reality is I want to spoil someone rotten and be spoiled in return and there have been few things I wasn't willing or even eager to do for a partner if they asked and I wouldn't have someone who didn't feel the same way in return.

Oh, and I had to add, there are few things I miss in some ways more than sitting together with someone I love and adore and watching a chick flick, both of us crying at different parts, holding each other and all the rest of the sappy stuff.

< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 5/29/2009 5:28:17 PM >

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 22

RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/29/2009 6:19:04 PM

lovingpet

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Thank you all for these beautiful ideas and memories of how love has been woven into relationships that don't always look like there is one ounce of such a thing in them. From the outside, depending on what is being presented of course, things can look pretty carnal and even abusive. It is what the couple knows between them that changes everything. It is the things that speak deeply to each other that no one else can quite get why it would be so important.

I have never really thought of the two "sides" of myself as two separate entities. Rather, they are part of the whole that must be nourished for me to remain sound. The kink itself is not the issue per se nor is it the romance. It is that both are present and cherished as a part of me and us. How my "light" and "dark" needs get met are not nearly as important as their acceptance and that they are met fully.

Beautiful stuff!

lovingpet

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 23

RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/29/2009 6:32:18 PM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
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Janiebelle, i too have memories like that with late hubby. Like the Kitchen Aid mixture he bought me so i could do my baking easier. One nice thing is the memories. Don't mind me getting very close to the time he died..so sentimental at this time.

Again thank you for openning a door of lovely memories for both Sir and late hubby

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Post #: 24

RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/29/2009 11:13:03 PM

janiebelle

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Joined: 4/29/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwinds

Janiebelle, i too have memories like that with late hubby. Like the Kitchen Aid mixture he bought me so i could do my baking easier. One nice thing is the memories. Don't mind me getting very close to the time he died..so sentimental at this time.

Again thank you for openning a door of lovely memories for both Sir and late hubby

Yep, and i always said if I ever got a kitchen appliance as a gift, I would promptly carry it upstairs and toss it out a window.
I hung up that idea when I realized that it was one of the most thoughtful things he had ever done.
Big hugs during your "sentimental season".

j

(in reply to oceanwinds)

Post #: 25

RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/29/2009 11:18:52 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
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I view the relationship as a whole. Part of being a good partner, imo, is being keyed into the needs of your other(s) and making efforts to meet those needs on a holistic basis. If you're lucky, a partner is as keyed in as you are regarding those things and you live perhaps happily ever after...or happy for a time...or in joy for the blink of an eye that the Universe allows. :>
Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 5/29/2009 11:28:10 PM >

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(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 26

RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/29/2009 11:22:22 PM

GreedyTop

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From: Savannah, GA
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I never thought I NEEDED love in a relationship.

Now I have it, and cant imagine being without it.

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Post #: 27

RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/30/2009 5:57:48 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwinds

Janiebelle, i too have memories like that with late hubby. Like the Kitchen Aid mixture he bought me so i could do my baking easier. One nice thing is the memories. Don't mind me getting very close to the time he died..so sentimental at this time.

Again thank you for openning a door of lovely memories for both Sir and late hubby

OMG if someone got me one of those beautiful sexy big red Kitchen Aid mixers I would set it in the middle of the kitchen island and just stare at it in admiration. Beautiful red and chrome......(as LaT drifts off into her imagination.....lusting for a sexy kitchen appliance) Or those gorgeous new front load washers and dryers, in red of course...

Yes, whomever brought those would definitely get much attention. And some good food.......

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(in reply to oceanwinds)

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RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/30/2009 6:07:28 AM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
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Those are great mixtures for sure. Could make homemade cinnamon rolls daily if we wish:). Hubby also turned to baking when he couldnt do much, and made the best scones........mmmmmmmmmmmmm yummy

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I know where I came from and where I am today. I am forever grateful to all that touched my life. Thank you all and especially you, Goddess.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 29

RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/30/2009 7:51:35 AM

gentlemanprince

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Joined: 5/19/2008
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I can't imagine submiting to a woman I didn't love (and, yes, trust and respect) completely... and she me. My life is to valuable to give to anyone else. Luckily, I found such a woman here on collarme.

(in reply to oceanwinds)

Post #: 30

RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/30/2009 8:16:27 AM

lovingpet

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Joined: 6/19/2005
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So happy to see couples that have found their bliss! Only wish I could have been there for that blowout wedding Greedy. And I am glad to hear that the princess found his princess!

Oh, and LaT and the rest, believe me some pretty and let me add powerful kitchen appliances would certainly stoke my domestic fires. I love to cook and such, but it's just not the same without the big, high quality tools I quickly got used to in the restaurant biz. Like bdsm, good toys make sweet desserts!

lovingpet

(in reply to gentlemanprince)

Post #: 31

RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/30/2009 8:37:18 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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My Kitchen Aid mixer is so old it's in the basic grey, when my daughter moves out I may give it to her and buy a new one in the blue. I lust for that!

But love in a relationship is essential for me. My ex was not interested in bondage, I survived quite well without it, just fantasy and masturbation. When the love went however, there was nothing left.

The most romantic gift I've ever gotten from The Man was a bouquet of flowers for my birthday. Romantic because he doesn't like cut flowers, usually he gives plants. But he knows I adore cut roses, so he sent me them.

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RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/30/2009 11:31:48 AM

breatheasone

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Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I never thought I NEEDED love in a relationship.

Now I have it, and cant imagine being without it.

Hey there beautiful Lady!

..... i think EVERYONE is like this, some will just vehemently deny it.

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(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 33

RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/30/2009 1:36:22 PM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
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For me

Love is sleeping tightly embraced

Finding love letters under my pillow

Being hand fed his half share of the chocolate bar

Having the same dreams and a need for the same adventures

Being able to laugh at ourselves

and being able to cry together

Never feeling obliged to do anything for each other but still wanting to.

Getting part way through an argument and then both bursting out laughing at the stupidity of it.

To me love is completeness. Through good times, tough times, sad times and happy times.

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(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 34

RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/30/2009 1:37:37 PM

colouredin

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Off Topic

Stunning photo Maria

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Post #: 35

RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/30/2009 2:27:26 PM

corsetgirl

Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
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I think the sweetest gesture a dominant did for me was that we had not seen each other in awhile. I was sick or he was too busy at work. However, when he saw me, he gave some a dozen roses for being patient and understanding with him.

Three years ago, we broke up because we became more of a vanilla couple and got into less of a D's dynamic. We are still talking and he misses me as his sub. Perhaps, the second time could be better. After all, this girl could still hope for a happy ending, huh? For some of you, maybe that is a little overly romantic but as long as there is communication and honesty, this is my hope that any relationship could work.

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 36

RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/30/2009 5:06:05 PM

sweetsub1957

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Joined: 4/28/2009
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i firmly believe that, yes, there can be love in a D/s dynamic. As for whether there should be or not, that depends on the P/people involved. Sir and i have love in O/our relationship and i wouldn't have it any other way. i couldn't submit to Someone if i didn't feel W/we had love for E/each O/other. i don't need the big displays. i rather like the little things, like a well-timed kiss or hug, a tease or a pull on my ponygirl tail. ~blush~ And i make chocolate treats for Him as He's a chocolate fiend, and surprise Him with little surprises. It works for U/us. i always wanted to have a D/s relationship that included the kisses & hugs & all that jazz, as well as the floggings and bondage and so on, and i've finally got it.

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An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/30/2009 6:24:34 PM

petpete

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The roses and the thorns are on the stems. Do you want the stems that are also in the routs that are in the manure??

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Post #: 38

RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/31/2009 2:23:51 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Off Topic

Stunning photo Maria

thanks colouredin hope your keeping well xxx

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Post #: 39

RE: I Want the Roses AND the Thorns Thank You Very Much! - 5/31/2009 7:20:23 AM

Delphinus

Posts: 146
Joined: 11/26/2008
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That he had flowers delivered to me on the anniversary of my father's death.

That he meets me halfway when I drive to see him - we drop my car off, I hop in his car, and he turns around and drives another three hours back the way he came, just to cut my driving time in half.

That he told me once he will tell tell me every time he sees me that I'm beautiful - and he does.

That he respects my fears and supports me to face them instead of criticizing and pushing me to confront them.

That, from our very first meeting together, he has taken my hand in his. Gently, with love, but as if he he had no doubt at all that this was how it would be and that he was going to teach me to allow myself to be held and caressed - all the time - even if only on my hand. He always holds my hand. Always. I used to hate it before I met him - now I look for his hand even when he's not with me.

That he remembered to pack my bottle of wine (he had beer) when we went canoeing because he knew I would forget.

That he put all of our letters to each other about the cabin we will build one day together into a typeset and bound book - it is filled with our dreams and pictures - something we could literally hand to an architect and say "build this".

That he pulls my chair out for me, holds the door open for me, and stands up when I leave the table. (The dichotomy in our relationship is very erotic for us.)

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