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oceanwinds -> RE: Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom? (5/26/2009 6:40:54 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Missokyst
When I see this frame of thought I wonder where these bad reflection submissives were raised. My manners were determined by my parents and my peers. I learned not to burp, fart, make rude noises. cuss or sneer at people I meet because inwardly I might think poorly of them for what ever reason. The men who have been in my life didn't always hold to those standards. In fact most people I know cuss, burp, ect. I was basically taught to be a freak. So.. is this because some dominant "raised" me? Taught me? Or is it my freakish anal nature and upbringing that caused me to turn out this way. What is the dominant teaching these "good" reflection submissives? What are the criteria for showing your dominant in a good light?
Curious minds want to know,
Kyst
quote:
ORIGINAL: oceanwinds
Entering into BDSM at a later age, many things confused me but one did not, perhaps because i lived that way anyways. As a submissive, i am like a representative to my Dom. My way of expressing myself reflects on him. Maybe a lot of people dont see it this way, but i do and works for me. Sir mentioned early to me in our relationship that a s-type reflect how well the Dom taught them.
Do you see an s-type as a reflection of their Dom, and why or why not?
oceanwynds
I am going to try to answer from my own personal experience, and hope i understood your question. I already lived as a reflection of the person i was with, prior to meeting Sir. That was why this part was not difficult for me to adjust too, and about the only part:)
As I have mentioned in other posts i was married for a long time in a vanilla setting with swirls of sparkles. Sorry vanilla is not my favorite flavoring:). When i met my late hubby, i could out cuss any trucker. One day i using the F word in front of him, he sat me down with a dictionary and said start to learn words, cause you going to need them if you are going to be with me. I cleaned up my mouth big time and a lot of other things. I learned he wasnt the norm that i use to be living with or married too, and i needed to refine myself.
Was it real difficult, i don't believe so since i raised in a strict Jewish conservative home, where my father ruled!!!! i never cursed when i was home because i didnt know who i feared most Dad or God. When i left home and joined the hippie world , i lost a lot of my core values or so i thought, but looking back they were just shuffled under fake papers that was not me.
Sir has not had to do a lot of 'training' on me, except a couple times when i got snippy in a chatroom. He spoke to me about being humble and to try to not judge a person but to offer kinder words. I do have a fiery temper, and i use to just spew nasty put downs when people irritated me. i had and still am learning to humble myself. Does not mean i have to like or agree with a person, but i do not need to lose my footing and balance.
Did this help?
oceanwinds
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