safety refreshers (Full Version)

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missturbation -> safety refreshers (5/23/2009 7:29:05 AM)

Last weekend whilst at Sir's he caught my lower back (kidney area) and the bottom of my spine (tail bone). After a string of expletives which i won't repeat i muttered something about them being spots that weren't safe to hit. I will add here it was a mishit not something done on purpose and everyone has accidents from time to time.
 
The same weekend Sir was deciding whether to have a bottle of wine one night that he planned to thrash me. I very kindly reminded him that if he had the bottle of wine, play would be out the window for obvious reasons.
 
See i am kind of a safety girl [:D] Ahem lol.
 
Anyway it got me to thinking the past few days that when i first became involved in the lifestyle i swotted up on what was safe to do, what wasn't, what the risks were of things etc etc. But now threeish years down the line i seem to have forgotten some of the basics. Other than a few which i have listed and a select few i have not i'm coming up blank. Time to revise me thinks.
 
So i pull out my copy of screw the roses, i remembered it having some basic diagrams of where to hit and where not etc. First thing i come across is the anatomy for safer bondage. It shows areas to avoid completely, ie pressure points and areas to be extra careful. I haven't thought about safe tieing up for aeons. [:o]
 
It then goes on a few pages later to list safe places to hit, places never to hit and places to be extra careful when hitting. Other than the ones i listed above i'd forgotten all the rest. [:o]
 
Now possibly i could use the excuse that i'm a slave and i can leave most of the thinking about safe places to hit etc to the Dom who's doing the hitting. In fact my first few Doms were all highly experienced, well known, reputedly safe players and i pretty much did. Now though i'm with a not so experienced Dom, i find myself having to dig around my brain for some of this knowledge and find myself coming up pretty short.
 
When it comes to playing safe do you refresh yourself on your knowledge every so often?
If you are a sub / slave do you just leave it to your Dom / Domme to know the drill?
If you are a Dom / Domme do you refresh your skills with 'toys' every so often?
Do you ever ignore basic safety such as don't hit near the kidneys?

 



Drakontos -> RE: safety refreshers (5/23/2009 8:21:51 AM)

Master does not indulge in BDSM play activities with zaphira. However, in other areas that some may consider to be of safety, this slave does not tell him what is safe and what is not. zaphira relies on Master to see that his property does not get hurt.



PsyVamp -> RE: safety refreshers (5/23/2009 8:28:43 AM)

You know, I just wanted to say "Thanks for the reminder"

I think you also have a valid point;  While dominants need to have a really good understanding about how they play and the physiological /psychological effects, the submissive/slave need to take responsibility for their own health also and know what to avoid.

*edited to say "going to find My own reference manuals ;)"



missturbation -> RE: safety refreshers (5/23/2009 8:42:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PsyVamp

You know, I just wanted to say "Thanks for the reminder"

No problem [:D]

quote:

I think you also have a valid point;  While dominants need to have a really good understanding about how they play and the physiological /psychological effects, the submissive/slave need to take responsibility for their own health also and know what to avoid.

I think it never hurts to have a little knowledge about anything, whatever side of the kneel you may be.
Who has ultimate responsibilty of course is up to those in the relationship to decide.

quote:

*edited to say "going to find My own reference manuals ;)"

As an aside and a bit of a hijack of my own thread screw the roses was my bible when i first came into this lifestyle. Flicking through and reading some of it back now makes me realise how far i have actually come. Mostly in good ways but some not so much, such as safety knowledge. [8|]



silkncarol -> RE: safety refreshers (5/23/2009 9:28:00 AM)

Its always a good idea to have a conversation about safety with a play partner....especially if it's someone you know is new to the scene or inexperienced with a particular play activity, but also to make them aware of your own physical concerns and any limitations you might have.   This is why when i'm asked about limits i'll say my hard limits wont change, but i do have what i call soft limits that shift and change depending on my partners experience but also the depth and trust level of the relationship.  Floggers wrap, miss hits happen, you move when you shouldn't to catch a strike in the wrong place.  
It's about being risk aware,  taking  responsibility for yourself and the situations we put yourself into.



PsyVamp -> RE: safety refreshers (5/23/2009 10:24:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

As an aside and a bit of a hijack of my own thread screw the roses was my bible when i first came into this lifestyle. Flicking through and reading some of it back now makes me realise how far i have actually come. Mostly in good ways but some not so much, such as safety knowledge. [8|]


*laughs*
Everybody I know has either read it or has their own copy.

It is interesting to go back to the "beginnings" and see what experience has taught us, as well as things we should have kept but discarded along the way.  It could be that things like this go in cycles for some of us.   Research, experiment, experience, question and repeat [;)]



BitaTruble -> RE: safety refreshers (5/23/2009 10:59:19 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

When it comes to playing safe do you refresh yourself on your knowledge every so often?


Constantly, actually. Researching BDSM is one of my favorite time killers and going back to the old anatomy books, or hitting up my worn out, much loved copy of knots techniques or what have you remains a priority.

quote:

If you are a sub / slave do you just leave it to your Dom / Domme to know the drill?


I rarely make assumption on what Sir may know, not know, remember or not remember. Two heads are almost always better than one and part of my service to him is making sure that he is well informed so he can make the best possible decisions.

quote:

If you are a Dom / Domme do you refresh your skills with 'toys' every so often?


Not from the dom side since I'm not a dom, but as an avowed sadist, absolutely. I practice techniques (especially with needles), artistry, combinations of different sensations, listen to new music to see what might be something we can use in a scene etc., etc.

quote:

Do you ever ignore basic safety such as don't hit near the kidneys?


I would not ignore it, but that doesn't mean I don't fuck up on occasion as does Sir and I've got a very recent stab wound to prove it!




GreedyTop -> RE: safety refreshers (5/23/2009 12:19:17 PM)

*adores Celeste*

so, about those needles..... *grin*



antipode -> RE: safety refreshers (5/23/2009 12:47:30 PM)

quote:

do you refresh yourself


Here is a book I found via Google that has just about everything you never wanted to know:

http://books.google.com/books?id=M1fqbvsfMRcC&printsec=frontcover



Lynnxz -> RE: safety refreshers (5/23/2009 12:51:37 PM)

It is amusing how people jump on and off the safety boat, depending on which poster they are trying to fit in with, or whos attention they are trying to obtain.



breatheasone -> RE: safety refreshers (5/23/2009 1:08:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

It is amusing how people jump on and off the safety boat, depending on which poster they are trying to fit in with, or whos attention they are trying to obtain.

Right-on.....LMAO.... tell us how you REALLY feel.  [:D]



pinkwind -> RE: safety refreshers (5/23/2009 1:21:27 PM)

i have a certificate in industrial first aid, a keen appreciation of safety issues due to severe disability and the basic ethos that i would never, ever, abdicate responsibility for my own safety completely into the hands of anyone, no matter who they are or how much they too have my best interests at heart.




antipode -> RE: safety refreshers (5/23/2009 4:01:31 PM)

quote:

certificate in industrial first aid



Ah. The acid test



littlewonder -> RE: safety refreshers (5/23/2009 4:05:08 PM)

I never think about safety to be honest. I let Master do the thinking on that if he wants. It's not a big thing to me because I figure Master is a pretty smart guy and well..I don't play with men who don't have some kind of basic common sense about the body or safety.

Accidents happen though and I just let it roll off me. I fix the problem and we continue or not.



MsFlutter -> RE: safety refreshers (5/23/2009 6:23:26 PM)

When I play, I always seem to have inescapable images in my head of a chart of the male anatomy and the 'strike/no-strikes zones' on the body. 

maybe I just read too much :)



agirl -> RE: safety refreshers (5/23/2009 6:35:00 PM)

quote:



 
When it comes to playing safe do you refresh yourself on your knowledge every so often?
If you are a sub / slave do you just leave it to your Dom / Domme to know the drill?
If you are a Dom / Domme do you refresh your skills with 'toys' every so often?
Do you ever ignore basic safety such as don't hit near the kidneys?



No, I don't need to .....seriously.

Yes, I leave it to him.

Nope, He's a very old hand.

No, never.  bdsm activities just aren't THAT much fun. Well, not to us, anyway.

aGIRL



Radulfr -> RE: safety refreshers (5/23/2009 7:03:55 PM)

It is wise to take heed the warnings regarding basic safety.  Don't strike the spine, kidneys, throat, nose, jaw, etc. if you want your plaything to be kept alive and well.  Basically, don't break your toys.



Joseff -> RE: safety refreshers (5/23/2009 7:29:24 PM)

As we both have health issues, safety is usually high priority for me. Not only the basics, but things that are particular to us, and these can change from time to time, depending on type of play, location, etc etc. 



missturbation -> RE: safety refreshers (5/24/2009 6:57:11 AM)

quote:

I rarely make assumption on what Sir may know, not know, remember or not remember. Two heads are almost always better than one and part of my service to him is making sure that he is well informed so he can make the best possible decisions.

I after having only relationships with experienced long standing players made the assumption that my Sir would also have all the knowledge of the priors. He doesn't and i certainly don't anymore.
 
quote:

It is amusing how people jump on and off the safety boat, depending on which poster they are trying to fit in with, or whos attention they are trying to obtain.

Was this aimed at me hun?
 
 







Andalusite -> RE: safety refreshers (5/24/2009 1:59:53 PM)

I've taken first aid and CPR classes, and both BDSM and martial arts classes which cover things like dangerous areas to strike.

I have deliberately flogged people on the spine and kidney areas, but only with floggers that have no deep thud, such as my "Barbie" flogger which is made out of hair extensions, or lightly with a rubber strand or bunny fur flogger. It's not an absolute "no strike zone," but you have to be cautious and aware of what the specific tool you're using will do. Same goes for face, joints, etc. Brushing someone lightly in those areas is extremely unlikely to do any damage, whacking hard with something thuddy is unacceptable in those areas.

"Wraps" from a flogger are uncomfortable, but rarely dangerous - I haven't inflicted them as a Domme or top, but have experienced them as a bottom. With singletails, wrapping is a specific, desirable technique (deliberately encircling someone's torso, leg, arm, etc. I'm still learning how to handle a singletail on inanimate objects, and won't use one with an actual person until I feel I have sufficient control. Even then, we'll start out with them wearing jeans, long sleeves, and head/face protection, just in case (people can move unpredictably, etc.).



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