LaTigresse
Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006 Status: offline
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I will give you one brief funny one. When I moved to the country, from Cedar Rapids, I had three dogs. Bella, my gorgeous shepherd mix, too beautiful and smart for her own good, my soul mate of a dog. She used to come to work with me and seriously thought she was my second in command. Molly, an older black lab that got my son through his teen hell years and would adopt any baby anything. From people to kittens to a baby racoon. Terrified of gun shots and thunder but ran a, less than smart, screaming for mercy, friend.... up onto the kitchen counter when he thought he was going to sneak in and surprise Generic Dude one evening, when I was working late. Then we had my mercy adoption. A 110# overgrown big hair red beast of a golden retriever I took in, after I knew we had the farm for certain. The shelter was struggling to place him because of his size and anti-social behaviour. I specialize in rehabbing aggressive dogs and knew this guy was going to be a piece of cake. He just needed to be taught how to be a dog. So off to the country we went. My dogs are never outside unless I am home. While the yard is not fenced, they are taught their boundaries and almost always, stay within them. Except once a year, deer season. Invariably Molly's nose would get the best of her after she had caught the whiff of something yummy, down at the cabins, near the river. Once that nose was working the rest of the brain seemed to shut down. Bella knew she was not supposed to follow but Molly was like a mother to Bella, she raised her from the little furball pup I had brought home. If she thought she could sneak along, she was going to go. Early one weekend morning I let the trio outside to take care of business. Kept checking out the windows to make sure they were behaving. Then all of the sudden I didn't see them. Went and looked out the back door and there was the big hairy red beast sitting on the porch with his back to the door staring up the lane. I knew immediately something was not right. I opened the back door and stepped out as Rusty was trying to dash past me to get in. Again, not normal. Unfortunately for him, biff to the head, I had pulled the door shut behind me. I called for Bella and Molly and got nothing. I looked at the cowering Red Menace and asked him "Where is Bella? Where is Molly?" Oh my gawd, the pathetic face looking up at me! He would look up at the lane then at me, then whine and look at the door. He wanted in, BAD. I knew exactly what had happened. I opened the door to get my boots and coat........and let the poor tattletell in. Grabbed my riding crop and asked Rusty if he wanted to go for a walk. Ohhhh, he knew better this time! He took off to hide in bed. I headed over across the road, and down the lane to the cabins, calling. As I got where I could actually see the cabins, I saw a familiar black and tan face peek at me from around the corner of one building. Bella knew she was in trouble. There was no way she was coming near me, she decided to head for the woods and circle back and beat me home. I kept calling and walking. Then I saw her, it was the instigator. Head down, slinking up to me. So I chewed her ass and told her to come with me. I was mad, stomping back up that lane. Back up the hill towards the road, sad little lab following behind. I got back to the house and there, trying to look all innocent, was Bella. Trying to decide whether she needed to look appologetic and guilty or play it off like nothing happened and "Wow mom, isn't it a beautiful morning and I sure am glad to see you, can we have breakfast now?!" I chewed her ass and inside we went. Once a year was about all. They just had to test me to see. Rabbits could go running through the yard with all three hot after them. If the rabbit crossed the invisible dog boundary the dogs would stop and watch. But that first whiff, first deer season, was their achillies heel.
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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one! Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!
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