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Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/2/2009 7:40:46 PM

fantasy69maker

Posts: 86
Joined: 3/27/2004
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So many profiles have some sort of "Locals Only" request. Why is this? Is it really important where my mailbox is? Lots of profiles seem to filter on that raw distance thing. WHY? isnt it more important how much time I can spend somewhere?
More importantly many men are in jobs where the address is just a randum location. I live in the ENTIRE U.S. but thats not a location option in your profile editing. Should I create a new profile for every location someone Im interested in lives?
Often it seems like someone with this sort of profile wont even give you a chance to explain a complicated situation.

Post #: 1

RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/2/2009 7:45:27 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

It's a big deal when you are a single parent and you can't move because you share custody or you have a job where you can't leave the area you are in or any other numerous reasons you can't or won't leave.

Most people want someone they can be with every moment of every single day eventually...not having to always travel back and forth or only see each other when someone isn't traveling for work or whatever.

Distance is a lot of work and cause havoc on a relationship. Sometimes it becomes way too much to deal with and having someone that lives with you or at least in the same town as you or region makes life much much easier.

(in reply to fantasy69maker)

Post #: 2

RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/2/2009 8:06:00 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

I wanted a real time relationship - and for that, it needed to be with someone within commuting distance of my job. Thats why my profile was for locals. If there was someone who had a solution for the distance factor, then they could have sent me an email with an explaination, and i would have considered it. Easy-peasy.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 3

RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/2/2009 8:12:29 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
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There are too many of us who over the years, tried the LDR route and found it was too stressful and it took more work then anticipated to keep that relationship going and healthy. Yes it is unfortunate that many who's job requires them to move, makes it that much more difficult to start, let alone maintain a good relationship.

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Post #: 4

RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/2/2009 8:23:39 PM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
Status: offline

The city option space could be rather telling of where your mailbox is....over the moonstalking youlaughing cow countryNile Riversledding with huskiesbowing to the Pope

(in reply to fantasy69maker)

Post #: 5

RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/2/2009 8:33:00 PM

mystickoolaid

Posts: 519
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

It's a big deal when you are a single parent and you can't move because you share custody or you have a job where you can't leave the area you are in or any other numerous reasons you can't or won't leave.

Most people want someone they can be with every moment of every single day eventually...not having to always travel back and forth or only see each other when someone isn't traveling for work or whatever.

Distance is a lot of work and cause havoc on a relationship. Sometimes it becomes way too much to deal with and having someone that lives with you or at least in the same town as you or region makes life much much easier.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 6

RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/2/2009 8:41:08 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5175
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

Some people want more than a part time relationship. As you say, you travel the US as part of your job. This means that even at your "home" address, you can only offer a part time relationship. Having a relationship with someone close by is a preference some people have. It is no different than wanting someone who is tall or short, blonde or brunette, thin or heavy.

My suggestion is that you get involved at the various munches in the locations where you normally travel. Some are willing to overlook the fact that you can only be part time once they get to meet you in person. You can WOW them with your personality. We travel in the western US. As we travel we search for munches in the areas where we are traveling. As a result we've met some really nice people over the years and made many friends. If you do not know how to find munches, follow the link in my signature.

< Message edited by peppermint -- 5/2/2009 8:42:49 PM >

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(in reply to fantasy69maker)

Post #: 7

RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/2/2009 10:19:21 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Well, I figure that there must be many women who live in cold, dark, expensive places up North who might want to consider moving here with me after a few visits.
I mean if *you* had your "druthers" where'd you rather spend the winter, Myrtle Beach, S.C. or Detroit? Or Portland ,Maine?
I moved here to get away from all that B.S. up North. I'd much rather spend the $300-$400 per month I'd be paying to heat a house up there by burning up oil on going out to the Texas Roadhouse for some steak and ribs or on other things.
And I'm definately not alone in that kind of thinking by the amount of people moving here from up North and the Mid West.
It's nice to be able to go out for a walk on a Jan. day and not come home with frost bite.
And I just wouldn't be interested in a woman with small um's.
For a woman who's div/wid with grown offspring this would be an ideal situation.
No pushing and shoving, Ladies!

< Message edited by popeye1250 -- 5/2/2009 10:30:11 PM >

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RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/3/2009 12:20:20 AM

FirmhandKY

Posts: 8948
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Popeye ... you do realize that underneath your photo here on the forums, it says you are in New Hampshire?

Firm

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Post #: 9

RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/3/2009 5:06:31 AM

hizgeorgiapeach

Posts: 1672
Status: offline

A lot of people who base things on Location do so based on whether they can Reasonably Expect to meet the other person face to face in an amount of time that does Not add up to years of waiting. If I can't look at the location and know that I'm NOT going to have to spend MONTHS in just the Planning to meet them - that I can't simply shoot them an email one day that says "hey, let's go have coffee tomorrow and see if things click when we're face to face" - then I'm wasting my time getting any more emotionally invested in them than as a very casual penpal friend. While I have a few of those, they aren't people that I have ever considered attempting to foster a relationship with. (Although I admit there have been some Erotic Fantasies involving a couple of 'em LMAO.) They're great folks, and no doubt would make for interesting relationships - but they don't live close enough to actually Maintain a relationship with.

Complicated situations are not something that many of us look for either. We all have Enough "complicated situations" going on in our day to day lives, and don't need to add another Complicated Situation added to the mix. Complicated Situations = Drama = something the vast majority don't need or want to deal with. Myself for example - I am the full time caregiver for my elderly, terminally ill father who lives with me. This causes various amounts of Complication in my life on a Daily Basis, between medical crises, a moneygrubbing sibling who's hovering like a vulture for the will, and simply not having sufficient free time to Travel without a lot of Hassles. I only get respite time once every 3 months - maintaining a relationship where it's going to be that long between visits isn't something that I would ever consider - I don't have the spare emotional energy to consider something like that at this point in my life.

Fortunately for me, I met someone local - and didn't meet him online. He knows about my situation with my dad living here, and so instead of the two of us going Out very often, he comes over here for dinner one night a week - and when I call and tell him I've managed to get a babysitter for a few hours, we go Out and do something. He's in a position - being in the same city as me - to actually give me someone to lean on when things get to be to much to handle. He knows that dad won't likely be alive more than a couple more months, and is in a position to drop everything and actually BE HERE for me when that finally happens - unlike someone outta town, in another state or another country, who at Best could shoot me an email or phone call saying "wish I could be there when you need me."

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Post #: 10

RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/3/2009 5:10:27 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fantasy69maker

So many profiles have some sort of "Locals Only" request. Why is this?

Because they are only looking for people who are local to them. They probibly don't want an online or long distance relationship. I know for me personally, if I am going to persue a relationship, they would have to be local to me. I have no intention of moving and I want a partner I can get to easily, that means local.

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Post #: 11

RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/3/2009 5:13:49 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

Popeye ... you do realize that underneath your photo here on the forums, it says you are in New Hampshire?

Firm

that is strange, when I looked at his profile it says South Carolina.

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Post #: 12

RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/3/2009 5:29:58 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Sounds like he lives in the state of confusion...

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RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/3/2009 6:13:01 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fantasy69maker

So many profiles have some sort of "Locals Only" request. Why is this?
Because they only want to meet with locals.

Is it really important where my mailbox is?
For some people...yes.

Lots of profiles seem to filter on that raw distance thing. WHY? isnt it more important how much time I can spend somewhere?
I'm really only interested in meeting someone within a 100-150 mile radius. Why? Because I work very hard and being able to meet at the drop of a hat doesn't work for me, I need to schedule. If that meant planning a long-distance trip everytime we were to meet, I would (and have) lose interest fairly quickly. I also am not looking for a man who has a "woman in every port".

More importantly many men are in jobs where the address is just a randum location. I live in the ENTIRE U.S. but thats not a location option in your profile editing.
A random location? Refer back to "woman in every port"

Should I create a new profile for every location someone Im interested in lives?
If it doesn't bother you to appear dishonest in this regard...go for it. Why would you feel the need to appear local to someone when in reality you're "random" in your location?

Often it seems like someone with this sort of profile wont even give you a chance to explain a complicated situation.
My life is complicated enough, why do I need to put up with your complicated situation? I'm looking for LESS complications and more peace, a flowing stream not a raging river.
It all comes down to personal choice and prefereces, you have your's and they don't always mesh with others. To each his/her own. I'm not sure I understand why this seems to bother you so much. It smacks of impatience on your part...is that why?

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Post #: 14

RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/3/2009 6:17:59 AM

MsSpankhardSk

Posts: 63
Joined: 8/19/2004
From: Saskatchewan
Status: offline

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

I thought of that quote when my subbie was living away from me.
Absence also makes me desire that which I can not have, and I was almost ready to give up the LDR, when a few months later, the Subbie Fairy showed up, waved the magic wand, and he arrived on my doorstep.

People hate change when it comes to moving. Its only the ones who dare to take risks that seem to have the heart to do it.
Personally, when kids are involved, that makes it the toughest. Had my child still been living with me, no one would move in that unexpectedly.

It seems terrible to do but maybe you should cut and paste in an introductory letter your situation of living circumstances every time that you contact someone that you realllllly want to know? Being forthright is a necessity in a world where anyone can be anything online.

True intentions hopefully get you truly phenomenal results.

(in reply to fantasy69maker)

Post #: 15

RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/3/2009 6:20:17 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

Because as humans, we do "conclusion jumping"--too old, too fat, too creepy, too close, too far away. Its a gating factor--those that really want to know you, will.

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Post #: 16

RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/3/2009 6:24:44 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fantasy69maker

So many profiles have some sort of "Locals Only" request. Why is this?Long distance relationships are not what they are seeking. Is it really important where my mailbox is?Personally...i could not care less. Lots of profiles seem to filter on that raw distance thing. WHY? isnt it more important how much time I can spend somewhere? No...not in the least. A long distance relationship is difficult and at times not worth the effort.
More importantly many men are in jobs where the address is just a randum location. I live in the ENTIRE U.S. but thats not a location option in your profile editing. Should I create a new profile for every location someone Im interested in lives?Create one for every city in the US...that will go over really well.
Often it seems like someone with this sort of profile wont even give you a chance to explain a complicated situation.And a sub WANTS a Dom with a complicated situation...yep...

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Post #: 17

RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/3/2009 6:27:58 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Sounds like he lives in the state of confusion...

or married.

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GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
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Post #: 18

RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/3/2009 7:03:09 AM

UncleNasty

Posts: 1108
Joined: 3/20/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Most people want someone they can be with every moment of every single day eventually

Did you read this before posting? I think it describes more accurately a crazy person than a healthy adult love.

Uncle Nasty

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 19

RE: Do You REALLY Think I Live In My MAILBOX ? - 5/3/2009 7:06:20 AM

subangi

Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fantasy69maker

So many profiles have some sort of "Locals Only" request. Why is this? Is it really important where my mailbox is? Lots of profiles seem to filter on that raw distance thing. WHY? isnt it more important how much time I can spend somewhere?
More importantly many men are in jobs where the address is just a randum location. I live in the ENTIRE U.S. but thats not a location option in your profile editing. Should I create a new profile for every location someone Im interested in lives?
Often it seems like someone with this sort of profile wont even give you a chance to explain a complicated situation.

Maybe if you explained your situation in your profile, it would help.

(in reply to fantasy69maker)

Post #: 20

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