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Long time friend passed away - 5/1/2009 12:21:35 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		We were pretty close. The neighbor just told me. The world is now an emptier place. I sure am going to miss him. I love how he could deal with the system.  He was only 50. (heart attack) He did not look good last time he was here last week.

This isnt real to me.  Over the years- we gave each other advice. I am glad we were not arguing.  He worked with my mom.

I dont know.  We all rush around like the errands and trivial things are the most important thing ever.

I met a few of his family members, man- oh man.
This is the first friend that passed.

Fuck.   He wanted all his bills paid off before he died.  But- that isnt how it worked out.   He wanted his kitchen paid off before the interest rate started. Those damn cigarettes I am sure did not help.

....an emptier world.
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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/1/2009 1:14:07 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		I am so very sorry for your loss. I know how badly this hurts and I honestly wish there were words of comfort, but there are not.
Later, when you accept the loss, perhaps honor his memory in your garden?


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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/1/2009 1:27:38 PM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		Sympathies for you.

Nothing I can say will help, but do know that there are sympathetic persons in the world who can & will be there for you when you need them. That is undiminished by loss.

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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/1/2009 1:36:52 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		I'm also really sorry for your loss, it's never easy to lose a friend. I'm not even going to try to offer or bring any words which can take away your sense of loss or shock because I know I cannot.

But what I can do is share with you that all important sentiment which you expressed in your OP, that life is short, people come into your life and they often leave before time.

Time heals, and only the memories of the time you spent together can offer any hope to fill at least some of the emptiness caused by his absence.

But that is where he can live on.. and the friendship continues.

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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/1/2009 1:45:29 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		it hurts now, and probably will for awhile.  when you're ready, doing something in his memory might be something good that can come out of the loss.  maybe we should all try to do something positive in the person's memory when we suffer a loss, it would be a great way to honor them.
PM

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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/1/2009 1:51:27 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		I am sorry for your loss.

< Message edited by Rule -- 5/1/2009 2:01:17 PM >

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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/1/2009 2:47:50 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I have Jims cat.   It was going to go live with Jenny.  Jim wanted it handled before he went out of town- so I offered to cat sit until Jenny was ready.

The cat is as ornery picky sticky, DEMANDING as Jim was.

When he was here last week- I mentioned his posture and said he looked like he was 95 year old. He said he felt it, and the stress was intense.  

He was supposed to be out of town for 8 days. But the obit said he passed at home.

Jim seen the same Psychiatrist that I did.  He suffered alot of pain from the car accident.   Frankly- IMO the car accident is where he hit the turning point.   A few years ago- his SUV rolled down a ravine. He had a few surgeries.  But was never the same.  He denies it- but a co-worker said he rolled the SUV by reaching for a cigarette. I road with Jim many times and he was a slothful driver. 

We met in 1990.  He was friends with my "roommate".  Jim would call for Bob and Bob was never home- so eventually we started talking.

I was with him when he got the mortgage for his house. He barely remembers as he was in a fog that day. I verbalized to him as he signed each paper. I had no problem- but he was scared as heck.  He took out a 15 year morgage- and paid it off in 7-8 years. So his house is paid for.  But he did a 14k kitchen on credit card, and bought a new Lincoln this year.

I helped him get his disability. Did the paperwork for him.  He was very helpful when I was going thru red tape.  Basically - I simply regave him expertise that HE had taught me.

He used to tell me Bobs every move. The whore that Bob was- (Jim too for that matter)

His would be motherinlaw pased away last year- a die hard democrat- get this... she was returning from a Hillary rally in Harrisburg.

He had a few close friends.  More then I ever will. He was a leo- sign of lion.

He was an expert of fundraisor events.

I never thought this day would come. Or I did not want this day to come.  He could never get a good nights sleep- he could be controlling at times.

Anniversary dates were big to him.  His ex of 18 years broke up with him on...of all days... Christmas eve.

No more physical therapy.    ....I know he got tired of that.

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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/1/2009 3:02:26 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		..I am trying to figure how many people he had fired.  1 for sure. 1 attempt that I know of.

He could be the best friend on the planet- or the worst enemy. 3 people maybe he had fired. Minimum.  I would talk to him about this behavior.  Try to convince him that when you "pay back" someone- you might settle one score but create 3 others- that more often then not- it is best to not go after revenge.

When he rented- I stayed over once- house sit. And I told him I did not want to sleep in the guest bedroom.  I was concerned the ceiling would cave in.   He said non-sense- the ceiling had been that way for years.     ... the next week- the ceiling collapsed.  lol.

He helped me "decorate"  Bobs new apartment after he moved out.    (long story, devious, immature- )  lol

When we would go to eat- he would profusely complain about any little thing.  He was a good tipper.  I did wonder tho how much spit ended up in the food.

He was the guy tho- that 4 am- trouble- need to talk.    call.

Both his parents suffered alot before they passed.  

I never figured out how- but he laid the best looking guys!!  he must have had 7 regulars.

He loved gay drag shows.  That was his out of town event.  So at least he was in a hobby.




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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/1/2009 3:28:39 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		PA,

Thank you for sharing about him.


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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/1/2009 4:02:43 PM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline 		I’m glad you had the time you shared together; he sounds like a decent person. Your words imply you were as much an asset to him, as he was to you. I’m sure you learned well.

My best,

Kim

< Message edited by cpK69 -- 5/1/2009 4:03:00 PM >

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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/1/2009 7:57:29 PM   
Owner59


Posts: 17033
Joined: 3/14/2006
From: Dirty Jersey
Status: offline 		Hugs PAhunk

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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/1/2009 8:52:44 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		PaHunk, you have my condolances upon the loss of your dear friend.
It's never easy is it?
Just try to think about the good times.

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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/1/2009 9:03:52 PM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		PA at least you can be glad he went quick with little suffering..if he had to go......I know I hope I go that way...God bless him and you

He sounds like the kind of guy that would appreciate his friends throwing him a wild kinky wake...gets some friends...get some good booze and make him proud.

Butch

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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/1/2009 9:50:55 PM   
slaveboyforyou


Posts: 3607
Joined: 1/6/2005
From: Arkansas, U.S.A.
Status: offline 		I'm sorry to hear that Pahunkboy. It fucking sucks to lose a pal. I don't have a whole lot of them, but the ones I do have are close. I love them like brothers and sisters. I've lost a few over the years, and it breaks my heart. You have so many things yoiu wanted to say to them, but you didn't. I understand; it's the way life is. All you can do is say your prayers for them and hope they hear them.

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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/2/2009 5:46:21 AM   
purepleasure


Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		Your friend's passing has affected many more than you know, and has caught them off-guard as well.  May your happy memories of him last a lifetime.

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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/2/2009 8:10:14 AM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		Its tuff losing people we like and love. Especially when it seems like its too early. I'm turning 50 this year. And at 50 for me, I need to have all my ducks in a row. Its never too early to have your affairs in order.

Try and think of all the good things he taught you in life. Actually good and bad things are ALL valuable.

I guess now you need to go on, but when you make choices, perhaps make some with the thought you could make him proud.

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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/2/2009 12:12:08 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Hunkboy,
 
Thank you for sharing memories of him.  Remember him for how he lived and all the times that you talked, laughed, and experienced together.
 
Peace and Light,
 
Vendaval

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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/2/2009 12:54:13 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*hugs*

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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/2/2009 3:16:28 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Hi everyone and thank you for your thoughts.  They cheer me up.  A number of months back- I was at his house and he was weak. I did not want to leave. Back then, I felt- it would be the last time I seen him. So I refused to leave. By 1AM he seemed normal- he seemed back to normal.

This makes 2 or maybe 3 that have died in that same house.  (this is PA- the houses are old)   Jim had a guy die in his bed.  The guy had no ID on him.  Try and explain that to the cops in a town of 12,000. lol

Who does one leave their fucks to when they die?

Jim was so good at figuring me out. He KNEW the outcome of almost any situation.  He was 1 in maybe 100 that could do so.

Oddly- he always kept his friends separately from each other.   He had a fit when he then learned mom worked at the retardation center where he worked.  Like I withheld information.  Then he later said- he would never know she was my mom -because she isnt smart in the way that I am.  Mom isnt stupid or dumb- she simply is not sophisticated, yet- amazing as mom is- she can get a punch in when it is absolutely necessary.
Once he got to know the family better- he realized that.  I used to visit him at his job when he got promoted. I encouraged him to go for that promotion. He was so proud of that. His gram was a long time union gal. This was many years ago. So he followed in the worker rights mode.  He could outargue the state on many occasion on a work contract that THEY made. Seeing him in action was a joy..it truly was.  He took this big impersonal state bureaucracy and turned it on its head- when a buddy was getting fried at work.  Some of these same tactics carried over to other areas in life.  I loved to learn from him and add to the tricks. 
He even managed to baffle a lawyer or 2, based on the worker contract issues.   The place he worked was very much a cut throat place.  When mom worked there- this is where her unsophistication, but able to pull a punch came in handy. She stayed out of the main fire most the time.   With mom- she did not know weather to work the extra 5 years to get her extra retirement. I told her just get your basic.   She did- the same day she could retire she did.  Jim was an ally in the work place.

He also was a great coach to me when I worked 5 years in the group homes. :-)   Understand that MR/MH work is a massive mind fuck; if someone is not liked- 2-3 worlers will swear under oath that the dude commited a horrible infraction.  It could be totally untrue- but often it would stick.

Jim his sister and I went to a historic event locally where they talked about native indians.  He let my brother use his computer when I did not have one.  He sent flowers when my grandfather died.

When I went thru my lawsuits he was THE HELPER that got me thru.  All of them.  I mena the courts are HORRIBLE to go thru. Jim coached me on what was what and I came out ok. (I lost 3, but won the big one)( and the one loss could have been 10x bigger so you could say I won that by not losing to that degree)

We went to Harrisburg once.  He irked me by sticking his tongue out seductively at ALL the truckers!  I mean it was my license plate and my car- and his flirtation might have ended us up rammed off the road!

The year it was record cold and the governor said we all were to cut back on elctriccity- we were going bonkers and had to get out of the house. Jim came and got me and we went to a restaraunt and he asked which lights they shut off. LOLOL.  They turned off one light in the back. LOL. state emergency ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

It is 6pm I just got up.    man- "just"  is close to his intitials.

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RE: Long time friend passed away - 5/2/2009 3:47:57 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Funny thing.   Before he had the fat surgery; he was over 400 lbs..

He wanted to not catch the flu.  So he connived 2 flu shots!   They had a record of 1 shot and he claimed that it was a mistake that he never got a shot.

LOL.  I explained to him that his weight was irrelevant insofar as the flu vaccine.  The thing is he scored what he wanted.

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