RE: Lend a New Sadist a Hand

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RE: Lend a New Sadist a Hand - 4/9/2009 8:05:58 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
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I much prefer the type of verbal check-in that Michael describes to the color check-in, or "how are you feeling?" I frequently am incoherent/non-verbal when I bottom heavily, especially if I also feel submissive. So, I make sure I let the other person know that that is a possible reaction, and set up a non-verbal safeword if needed. Also, I let them know that if I go very still/tense all of a sudden, especially if I also hold my breath, or pull away, that I need to process the last stroke. They don't have to stop completely, but I do need them to go gently for a few seconds until I'm back to normal, either with the same toy or a different one. My wrists sometimes start falling asleep/go numb, especially if my hands are tied above my head without much slack. Since that isn't visibly apparent, I let the dominant know if they're causing a problem (and again, I try to address that ahead of time). Co-topping is a very good way of learning how to use new tools, and how to "read" the bottom or submissive more effectively.

(in reply to softness)

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RE: Lend a New Sadist a Hand - 4/9/2009 9:04:22 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Another way of not losing touch or letting the scene lag while you wait for someone to process is to give them some hot wanking verbage such as:

you reach down between their legs and shove a couple of fingers in them and get them nice and wet

quote:

You want to play like you are a sweet innocent woman but your cunt tells me everything I need to know about you, you NEED this don't you? Pull away all you want, breath all you want, but you can't hide from me. Sure it hurts, sure you want it to stop now, but in a second or two you are going to arch your back and that little hole is going to start begging me for it, I can see it running down your legs. If you really were a lady, you wouldn't be wet would you? And trust me, you aren't just wet, you are dripping, here taste it, that is what my cock is going to taste like when I am done with you later.

So in sexy rather than a clinical way you are telling them it is okay to take a break AND how to signal when they are ready to start again AND just frigging owning them. Of course the style of this needs to be tailored to the person you are playing with but the concept is the same.

< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 4/9/2009 9:05:29 AM >

(in reply to Andalusite)

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RE: Lend a New Sadist a Hand - 4/9/2009 4:52:49 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

Oh, great!!!! Hit my subbie buttons while I am working on becoming a better dominant....grrrrrr!

These are good suggestions and are helping a lot. I like to do a thorough inquiry before working with someone, so if they will simply be honest at that time it will help quite a bit. I am slowly learning to work my checking on them into the scene in a seamless manner, but it is still a bit rough. Thanks for all of this and by all means keep it coming!

lovingpet

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

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Post #: 23