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How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 7:20:00 AM

lameduck13

Posts: 64
Joined: 4/5/2008
Status: offline

I'm just curious as to how many people have found a partner on CollarMe, and roughly how long it took. You can be as descriptive in who you found and how long it took as you'd like I'd just like to get to know the forum-ers a little better. I've been here since April of last year and am yet to come to terms with my shy-ness I'm working on it I do view others profiles often to see who said what on the forums but I am still shy/nervous about sending that message. A few times I've gotten the message wrote out only to chick out at the last second. I know right Lame.

But back to my original question how long have you been here and how long did it take to find someone?

Post #: 1

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 7:24:46 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I've never found a partner but I have learned a lot and gotten to know some really awesome people!

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Post #: 2

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 7:27:27 AM

lameduck13

Posts: 64
Joined: 4/5/2008
Status: offline

How long have you been on this site? And what have you learned if you don't mind me asking?

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Post #: 3

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 7:34:24 AM

shivermetimbers

Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline

I have to take in consideration all of the years I looked on AOL, Alt, SexyAds, AFF, plus this is my second go around on CM. All told it was about 10 years until I met Deanna here on CM, and between my current and former account, almost a year and a half.

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Post #: 4

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 7:37:32 AM

curiousINct

Posts: 85
Joined: 8/18/2008
Status: offline

i was here about 6 weeks before we met in RT, and that was 6 months ago.

i used to be painfully shy as well, but posting/messaging online is a good way to start to overcome it. send those messages, you have nothing to lose by doing so, and could gain so much. if nothing else, it gets you used to saying what you are thinking. good luck :)

(in reply to lameduck13)

Post #: 5

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 7:38:50 AM

MissMorrigan

Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Several years on CM and have been with my partner for almost three of them, we met via CM initially. Prior to my relationship with my partner, I enjoyed quite a few relationships, many of which were borne from an initial contact here. It's going to take however long it takes and dependent on what you seek/how involved you become in the local scene, there's no hard and fast rule. Get yourself known via the forums, local events, etc... and have fun. It's achievable regardless of your shyness - My partner was one of the shiest of persons. You'll meet a wealth of great people along the way.

By the way, your response to almost sending a message isn't lame, it shows the degree with which your shyness affects you and that to many will be endearing, as it was for me with my partner. When Reality firstly wrote to me it wasn't with the intention of finding his soul mate, it was to hopefully befriend someone likeminded and patient enough who would take the time to get to know him. And I did, as someone will with you. One bit of advice though, don't use your shyness as an excuse to put yourself down, it isn't a handicap and you aren't less of a person because of it.

You are also very easy on the eyes and a visual aphrodisiac to a randy old bird like myself. Betcha blushing now, eh?

_____________________________

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Post #: 6

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 7:44:45 AM

subangi

Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline

I have been on this for about a year, and have met many for friendships. I have recently in the past couple months started reading and contributing to the forums, and as of late, that is my new addiction when I am on the computer. I love hearing others views and learned alot about myself in the process.
If I could make a suggestion.... the light green you use in your profile is almost unreadable.
One huge thing I have learned or I should say am trying to come to terms with is...... patience....that is... if you know what you want and wont settle for less.
Good luck, and in the meantime.... enjoy!!!!

(in reply to lameduck13)

Post #: 7

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 7:50:24 AM

lameduck13

Posts: 64
Joined: 4/5/2008
Status: offline

Blushing yes as well as grinning from ear to ear. Thank you all for your words of encouragement.

Would a darker Green be easier to read? I am color blind so I have no problems reading the lighter Green I will fix it, thanks for the input.

(in reply to subangi)

Post #: 8

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 7:52:16 AM

InTonguesslut

Posts: 401
Joined: 3/5/2009
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It's taken me approx three years here to meet the right Sir.
Well worth the wait i have to say

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Post #: 9

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 8:09:02 AM

cpK69

Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline

I’ve been here since Aug of 06. I met him within about a week of being here. We spent approximately a year apart in between, and were able to solidify the relationship last fall.
Kim

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Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

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Post #: 10

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 8:27:02 AM

lameduck13

Posts: 64
Joined: 4/5/2008
Status: offline

Anyone willing to share/reveal their ways of making friends on CM? I feel like every time I send a message to someone they might get the wrong Idea from my message. I'm not looking to find a "Right" Domme I'm just looking to find some friends who can aid me into getting out into the local scene, or share some experiance wth and vice versa.

BTW, I'm watching Lost on my labtop thats why I'm active every few minutes.

(in reply to cpK69)

Post #: 11

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 8:32:06 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

Dude,

If you looking for Hot babes that will stalk your post youve come to the right place. It's a great place to interact, exchange concepts, and flirt. Meaning the forums. I get two types of mail ppl that dislike or really enjoi my posts here, no middle ground. Rock On!

BadOne

_____________________________

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According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to cpK69)

Post #: 12

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 8:36:15 AM

lameduck13

Posts: 64
Joined: 4/5/2008
Status: offline

At least you get message from people, teach me oh wise one. -does worship bow-

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Post #: 13

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 8:43:02 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lameduck13

How long have you been on this site? And what have you learned if you don't mind me asking?

I've been on Collarme since January of '06'. To even attempt to describe what I've learned would take a book.

You must understand however, that I don't have very high expectations of meeting a partner through the internet. I came here to learn and get to know people that are involved in BDSM and have power exchange relationships.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to lameduck13)

Post #: 14

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 8:59:27 AM

CrazyCats

Posts: 116
Joined: 2/15/2009
Status: offline

Since ya asked...

I had been searching for about 5-6 for something actually serious (prior to that I was not ummm... willing to settle down) anyways, I found a girl a while back in chatrooms, and really clicked with her... we eventually ended because of outside interference, and I took it really hard. Quite literally I gave up on finding a submissive, and pretty much walked out of the D/s lifestyle for about two years.

While bumping around another free personals site called Plentyoffish, (non-kink) I clicked with a gal, we started hanging out and one thing lead to another... now we have about 3 weeks till we are getting married. Part of what clicked about us is that she was looking for a gentle Dom without even really realizing that was her 'type.' all of the guys she dated had the same sort of presence, I am simply the first one that took it the step farther into D/s. It is a step she is still tentatively making, but she is progressing very well for a shy new girl. (The first munch terrified her)

My advice:

You've already made the step. You recognize that you are what you are, and even though you're shy and want help, you know you want to learn and join the community in your area. There are ways to overcome shyness. To be honest they are much the same ways of overcoming phobias. You have to interact with what you are afraid of, a little bit at a time till your primal brain starts figuring out that there is nothing to be afraid of. It takes a while. It is not fun. and it takes a good bit of willpower to do on your own.

For you, start small. Messaging people here that have talked to you in this thread, just to say hello. I am willing to bet that most of the people who have answered you here are fairly nice and will not mind you practicing on them.

Put a little disclaimer that your practicing and trying to overcome your shyness at the top of the message to act as sort of training wheels. You know that the ones who replied to this thread are already taken, so there is little risk here, because you're not actually expecting to get them as anything more than a friend.

How ever you manage, you have to take the first steps. Every journey is hard, and you may fall along the way, but one thing is absolutely certain. You will get no where unless you take the first step along the path.

_____________________________

quote:

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Severities should be dealt out all at once, so that their suddenness may give less offense; benefits ought to be handed out drop by drop, so that they may be relished the more.

(in reply to lameduck13)

Post #: 15

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 9:04:29 AM

lameduck13

Posts: 64
Joined: 4/5/2008
Status: offline

Wow Crazy Cats thanks for the extremely helpful reply, and congrats on getting married I wish you and ur future wife the best of luck and remember to have at least 2.3 children to keep the population density the same. :-)

I will take this next step as soon as I return from picking my car up from the garage in the afternoon. Thanks everyone for your help hopefully there will be more advice here when i return.

(in reply to CrazyCats)

Post #: 16

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 9:13:32 AM

Juliannadelion

Posts: 869
Joined: 7/25/2008
From: circusofthedamned
Status: offline

I met my Lord here on CM (under a different profile of course). We met almost two years ago this upcoming july and started talking about Laurel K Hamilton books and music and what not. We both had other people in our lives at the time and we were good friends to start with.

We just celebrated our six month anniversary of living together and he asked me to be his wife.

I hope you get over being shy soon. There are a lot of really great people to meet here - even if it's just for friends.

_____________________________

Do you think this kind of love happens every day? ~ Asher

Bonded by blood, bound to His soul, soon to be his wife, owned by AsherDeLampyr

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Post #: 17

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 9:36:52 AM

kuriouswitch

Posts: 325
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline

in all my search took about six months here on CM, but about eight months total. When i joined CM i started going to the chat rooms and became enough of a regular in one that i became an op. When i joined the chat room Master was an op there and was one of the first people to greet me. We didn't really say much to one another until i became an op myself. He was talking to someone else seriously and i was busy learning the ropes (and being silly).

Then towards the end of summer he ended up in the hospital. The girl he'd been talking to sent along all of our messages. When he got back i badgered him about how he was feeling, was he taking care of himself better ect. One day we were opping at the same time, I wanted to know how he was feeling but also knew he wasn't paying attention.. he tends to multitask on the computer. so i "pounced" on him in the op room just to see what he would do. the man doesn't play fair! he "caught me mid air and kissed me" i've never been speechless like that before. About a week later he came to me and said we needed to talk. that night we both laid out what we were looking for, what we both liked and didn't like, our expectations of ourselves, each other and the relationship. and the boundries of the relationship. I tell him we made liars out of ourselves at that time lol, we said a lot of things would never happen but those things are slowly coming into fruition and i love it.

On Oct. 23rd 2008 He honored me with his online collar as well as an anklet to show that i am owned by him. In May i will recieve my neck collar which he'll place himself when i visit, and we've made plans for me to move out to him next summer which in my opinion is too far away, i'd rater we planned it for this fall or next spring.

(in reply to lameduck13)

Post #: 18

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 10:08:53 AM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

I started meeting some great people right away.

The first Dominant I was involved with I met 6 months after I joined. We were together about a year. then I took almost a year off of looking, when I started again I met a couple of nice men but they were not a chemistry match then I met my current Master, we've now been together a year.

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Post #: 19

RE: How long did it take?h - 3/31/2009 10:11:56 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lameduck13

I'm just curious as to how many people have found a partner on CollarMe, and roughly how long it took. You can be as descriptive in who you found and how long it took as you'd like I'd just like to get to know the forum-ers a little better. I've been here since April of last year and am yet to come to terms with my shy-ness I'm working on it I do view others profiles often to see who said what on the forums but I am still shy/nervous about sending that message. A few times I've gotten the message wrote out only to chick out at the last second. I know right Lame.

But back to my original question how long have you been here and how long did it take to find someone?

First of all hello and welcome to C.m. In answer to your question, well, it'll take as long as it takes I'm afraid. I thing the ony real way to find someone fast is to be uber-handsome,intelligent,rich, have masses of experience and be very versatile in your approach to submissives and slaves because they're all different and are therefore looking for different things (or the same things,but to varing degrees!).

My advice is -don't- look, be found-post in the forums, try to write something in your journal (that reminds me, i haven't written anything for about a year). But really I think you should only use C.m and any other BDSM site you go to as a stepping stone for something else; get involved in your local scene-go to munches and fetish fairs as and when you can. Get yourself out and about and meeting O/others in the lifestyle so that people can get the chance to get to know you and that you're serious.

Good luck.

(in reply to lameduck13)

Post #: 20

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