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ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: Finger fettish? (4/1/2009 12:26:30 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Having worked as a Domestic Violence counselor for a large chunk of my life, I'm pretty sure that I understand the meaning of the term "abusive".
I'd have to respectfully disagree with you. While your laudable and very impressive work in that field undoubtedly confers upon you an unassailable expertise and authority on matters pertaining to domestic abuse, that's not the only definition of the word "abuse." According to one of my dictionaries, abuse is defined as "to cause injury by maltreatment." I'd say that's a very accurate description of the issue the OP is describing, assuming she's describing it faithfully and accurately. And (again respectfully) given that you seem to be overlooking that definition of the word, and defining it in relatively narrow terms based upon your own experiences, I would suggest that perhaps your understanding of the word is not as comprehensive as you may have thought. Sorry, but I don't know any other way of putting it.
quote:
ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Having also spent a great deal of time on these boards and having had the opportunity to become quite familiar with the propensity of the OP to seriously exaggerate and make mountains out of molehills, I'd also say that I'm pretty safe in not casting judgment against the man in the OP's post as "abusive. As for unsuspecting people, I'd dare to say that this man is not likely walking up to strangers on the street wrestling their pinkies from them. If that were the case, yes that would be abusive and assaultive in nature. What is more likely is that the people he is doing this to have held out their hands and allowed him to take theirs in his. There is also a huge difference between a pull and a yank. Have you never locked pinkies with a partner instead of the classic hand hold? Have you never pulled back and forth? I know that I've had the experience with several men that enjoyed locking pinkies as a means of hand holding....and yes, sometimes we swung our hands back and forth and pulled. I would not consider them as abusive.
I'm responding to what the OP said in this thread, not to what she's said in the past. I take it at face value, and I responded accordingly. I took her third post in this thread to mean that the man does it (at least occasionally) without warning or prior consent. If that's an accurate description of his behavior, then it doesn't matter whether the people to whom he does it are acquaintances or strangers on the street. Furthermore, if we're really going to split hairs, I would argue that the issue of consent is not relevant at all unless the man is warning people of the possible risks associated with yanking people's fingers sideways, which clearly does not seem to be the case. In which case, it wouldn't matter if the person he was doing it to was his conjoined twin, because the consent is not informed. Your own experiences with people who exhibited similar behaviors is unfortunately irrelevant, because unless you have mutual friends I assume the OP is not talking about them.
So I'm sorry, but I stand by what I said. The behavior the OP is describing is abusive to the people to whom he is doing it.
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