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Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 10:31:34 AM   
defiantbadgirl


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Status: offline 		This male friend of mine has a very interesting fettish. He doesn't identify as a Dom, but has a very dominant personality (when he was talking to one of his women on the phone I heard him demand that she get down on her knees and apologize). He has what I call a finger fettish. Basically he hooks his fingers around another person's pinkie and yanks. I asked him why he does it. He calls it a fettish and says he does it to alot of people. He says he's done it since high school. Is it just me or does that sound dangerous to anyone? What if he accidentally broke or dislocated someone's finger? Has anyone ever heard of a similar fettish?

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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 10:56:09 AM   
DavanKael


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Status: offline 		Just about anything can be fetishized but I'm not sure, based on the information given, if what you're describing is a genuine fetish or not.  Does he need to do it to be able to perform sexually?  What is his point in doing it? 
  Davan

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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 11:03:03 AM   
defiantbadgirl


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Status: offline 		I don't really know what his point is. He said it's something he does to his women. He likes to grab women's pinkies and yank sideways. That's why I was wondering if accidental breaking or dislocation would be a danger. I've never heard of anything like this before.

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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 11:09:29 AM   
InTonguesslut


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Status: offline 		Possibly slightly worrying but i don't find this particularly strange
Even more worrying it sounds quite yummy.
 
Yes there would be a risk of dislocation or breaking if pulled hard enough.
 

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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 11:13:11 AM   
Lockit


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Status: offline 		That sounds more like a bully type to me.  It is cruel and very painful and yes, could damage the finger.  It isn't hitting a girl so some think that type of thing is okay... but I tend to see it as abuse.  Control by being a bully rather than anything dominant.  Call it fetish?  lol... no... just mean.  I would surely wake the dude up!

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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 11:17:13 AM   
dreamerdreaming


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Status: offline 		Well, pinkie fingers don't have much sideways range of motion. Yes, I'd be concerned about this strange preoccupation of his. Seems to me there's plenty of opportunity for breakage or dislocation.

He's lucky he hasn't tried this on a girl like me. I'd likely break his wrist or arm, in response.



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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 11:20:29 AM   
SailingBum


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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

Well, pinkie fingers don't have much sideways range of motion. Yes, I'd be concerned about this strange preoccupation of his. Seems to me there's plenty of opportunity for breakage or dislocation.

He's lucky he hasn't tried this on a girl like me. I'd likely break his wrist or arm, in response.




Yea I was thinking I'd still have one free hand to bitch slap him with.

Who's to say that finger pulling is wrong or being a bully.  Some of the things I have done would by some be considered hurtfull, dangerous by others.  What others think of what happens bet me and mine truly doesn't matter

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 3/30/2009 11:38:26 AM >

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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 11:26:32 AM   
InTonguesslut


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quote:

That sounds more like a bully type to me.  It is cruel and very painful and yes, could damage the finger


Lol because nothing else we do could be construed as cruel or painful or dangerous?

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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 11:26:32 AM   
subtlebutterfly


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Status: offline 		I'd tell ask him..no..tell him to get the fuck away from me with his "fetish". It hurts like a bitch and I don't give a shit though he wants to put it in a fancy way callin it a fetish, I don't agree with him.
I agree with the "bully" friggin prick, I can't make myself regard it as being a fetish.
No offense but I automatically despise people who do it and think nothing of it.

< Message edited by subtlebutterfly -- 3/30/2009 11:27:43 AM >

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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 11:34:28 AM   
Lockit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: InTonguesslut

quote:

That sounds more like a bully type to me.  It is cruel and very painful and yes, could damage the finger


Lol because nothing else we do could be construed as cruel or painful or dangerous?


LOL... well... it all depends on the presentation and relationship agreements.  But... having a sister who had a misshaped finger because of this... and having seen men who did that, I am going on how and why they did it.  There is a big difference between abuse and dominance and how the op discribed the situation, I see bully. lol  I wouldn't use the method... there are far better things to safely pull on!

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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 11:39:41 AM   
InTonguesslut


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quote:

there are far better things to safely pull on!

*Eyes light up*
 
I guess i can see where you might think abuse but as a consented to activity i still say yummy.



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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 12:14:43 PM   
LaTigresse


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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

Well, pinkie fingers don't have much sideways range of motion. Yes, I'd be concerned about this strange preoccupation of his. Seems to me there's plenty of opportunity for breakage or dislocation.

He's lucky he hasn't tried this on a girl like me. I'd likely break his wrist or arm, in response.



I guess there are some people that will put up with all sorts of stupid shit from stupid people.

I've got two hands, one to smack him upside the head with while he is try to pull on the other, and two feet that can deliver a really nasty kick to the balls, or whatever parts are handy.....(all in the name of fetish mind you.....)


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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 12:22:29 PM   
ExKat


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Status: offline 		To be honest, that sounds like an annoying trait he has rather than a fetish. Sometimes I'll good-naturedly punch people, and yes, I do that to my Dom. However, just because I do something with my partner doesn't mean that it's a fetish. Basically, I'd need a lot more info from the OP regarding this before I'd be judging anyone. And, to be honest, he sounds like more of an ass than an abuser.


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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 4:16:37 PM   
TaoWoman


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Status: offline 		Sounds like a sadist to me~

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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 4:20:00 PM   
littlewonder


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Status: offline 		eehh..doesn't sound all that strange or bullying or dominating or anything else..just something some people. I used to have a friend who liked to pinch people's shoulders, another friend who liked to come up behind others and push his knee into the backside of their's to make them buckle.

People like to do weird things. Everyone has something.

Dangerous? I suppose so but lots of things are dangerous. Your point?

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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 5:09:46 PM   
LovingMistress45


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Status: offline 		Ok, while finger pulling wouldn't do anything for me I don't particularly see this as an abusive action.  Most anything I do could cause damage, however I know how far to go without causing damage. 

Is it a fetish? I don't know.  By a true definition of fetish I think most in this lifestyle probably aren't really fetist.  I have a lot of things I love to do and they are a turn on sexually, but I have none that I have to have in order to become aroused or perform.

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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 5:17:43 PM   
defiantbadgirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

having a sister who had a misshaped finger because of this


I had a feeling it might be dangerous. There's a big difference between safe fettishes that involve inflicting pain and fettishes that can easily break or dislocate limbs. Im not convinced it's abuse because abusers inflict pain when they're pissed. He's calm when he does it, like he's playing around. I know this because he yanked on my pinkie a couple of times in the past. He wasn't mad when he did it and it wasn't during any type of disagreement. I asked him to quit and he did no problem. He couldn't understand why I wouldn't let him do it  because apparently most of the women he knows sit there and take it. I'm not his sub though so I don't have to.

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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 10:33:06 PM   
ThatDamnedPanda


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Status: offline 		He's hurting people, and possibly injuring them, for no other reason than it gives him some sort of thrill. If that's not abusive, then I don't understand the meaning of the word.

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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/30/2009 10:48:34 PM   
Andalusite


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Status: offline 		One guy I briefly dated kept holding my hand in some weird Vulcan nerve pinch kind of way, so it hurt, even after I told him not to! I don't think it was a fetish, or that he was trying to hurt me, but it was pretty darned weird! I stopped seeing him mostly because he pushed the issue, even after I told him it was hurting me in a way I didn't like, and was still sore from the last time he did it. I've also had a few pairs of jeans ruined from a guy I was dating grabbing and tugging me by one of the belt loops, but that didn't hurt *me*, at least. Did you tell him it hurt, or just to stop doing it? He may not realise he's doing it that hard.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 3/30/2009 10:50:38 PM >

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RE: Finger fettish? - 3/31/2009 3:37:10 AM   
DesFIP


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
Who's to say that finger pulling is wrong or being a bully.  BadOne


What makes it wrong is he does it without informed consent. If the women he does this too haven't agreed to force play, or to a d/s relationship, then it is wrong to try to demand it. What would be right would be to communicate what style of relationship he prefers and give them the choice instead of trying to bully them into it.

Besides, as has already been discussed, it's inherently risky for her fingers. And if/when he breaks one, charges of assault and battery will be risky for him.

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