RE: No means no. (Full Version)

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popeye1250 -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 9:36:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

hmmm maybe at your age you should not be so selective..[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m9.gif[/image]


KD, the woman in question is 53 herself.



kdsub -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 9:57:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

hmmm maybe at your age you should not be so selective..[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m9.gif[/image]


KD, the woman in question is 53 herself.


Just kidding... but in a few years...unless you're Jack LaLanne that fierce exercising won't seem so important...same with fucking most likely...so I say get it while you can… anyway you can...Enjoy now because that back will start hurting pretty soon and you may need a bicycle pump to get it up.

ps..I know

Butch



ChelseaNY -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 10:15:32 AM)

I would say she had some issues with dating at the time, not with dating you in particular since now that whatever was the problem has resolved itself she does have an interest.  Maybe you should just go on a date and ask her why she said no the first time.



MissMorrigan -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 10:16:30 AM)

Popeye, you leave out a lot of detail such as what you said to her, ie the way you asked, what you actually said, whether your invitation for a date was in a place she didn't much care for etc... Her reason for the initial decline is open to so much interpretation and she may not even have considered herself date-worthy, and possibly, she senses something about you she can't quite put her finger on which triggered her initial reaction (maybe the fact you're not vanilla) but one thing is clear, she is interested in you or she would not have broached the subject further. What are we always preaching on these forums, open communication?



kdsub -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 10:21:57 AM)

If you're not looking for love and sex is your only interest...why not let her know your intent? If she doesn't slap your face enjoy. You will both have a good time and a little relief from the trials of life.

Butch



Vendaval -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 12:37:36 PM)

I can really relate to this.  There was a particular individual who kept annoying me endlessly during a time period when one family member dropped dead of a heart attack and another was in the hospital.  And both of them being out of state made the situation that much more complicated and stressful all the way around.
 
The guy in question could not get it though his head that the timing was really bad and that I had to take a few months off.  An appropriate response would have been to be a supportive friend and check in with me from time to time and find out how I was coping and feeling.  He played the clueless cad and wouldn't stop whining and begging.  [sm=gaah.gif]
 
 
Needless to say he is not someone I bother talking to at all anymore.


quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveboyforyou
Now if they aren't really dating anyone because of some personal issues, I understand that.  Sometimes, people just want to be alone for awhile.  I'll go out with them after they decide to rejoin the dating scene.  I don't see that as playing second fiddle. 



pahunkboy -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 12:50:00 PM)

Popeye,   1st off-  I think the trust is broken on that particular lady.
So she is not an option.

But I want to tell you....

I talk alot to my friend named Jenny.  You have to understand what it is like to be a woman. Every step of the way a male is trying to bang them.  You are the exception.  But to a woman the world is 3x more dangerous to a male.  Jenny told me of how she looks in the back seat of her car and even if a man looks at her too long it gives her the chills.

So I guess how it goes is abit of a signal to eachother from the start.

I dont understand everything there is to know. My brother is attracted to the rock video model type of girl - not the baking bread type- then he wonders why it doesnt work out.

I myself find myself putting up barriars... where I dont have to.  I like being alone.  The temp- furniture everything in my life is exacatly as I alone decide.  Not a partner.  This gets harder as one gets old and set in the ways.

On the said woman, I am afraid at this point there would be nothing but games if you did see her.

Just go about your hobbies and interests.   If there is no common ground dates dont last anyway.

and of course if the dick needs it bad enuff- I come to conclude it is cheaper to hire out then to placate and raise a childish mate that doesnt want to grow up or carry their weight.  ....in the worst way...



NorthernGent -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 1:15:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

What say you?



I say never hold a grudge and always be flexible......you just never know what this could lead to....nothing ventured, nothing gained....what you got to lose, Popeye?.....pride comes before a fall, mate.....



pahunkboy -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 1:20:33 PM)

The OP sorta is missing key details.

going out.   hmm.  that means WHAT?   what activity.   A companion might not go to dinner with you but would do coffee.  Would not go to golf, but loves movies.   Might not like the park but loves dance bars.

So 3 letters are key here.   OUT.    



domiguy -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 1:21:50 PM)

maybe she had a yeast infection, aids or some other malady? 

Maybe she has since suffered some sort of an extreme oxygen deprivation and she now finds you attractive?

I have asked women out and been asked out and the answer has been "no."  Sometimes it is just bad timing other times it is might be that the person asking was viewed as being horrid.  Who knows? 

Those fucking twats thought that I was horrid?  Daaayummm!



aravain -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 2:08:15 PM)

~FR~

Why are we trying to fix/critique Popeye's situation specifically? Why can't we just answer the question? o.O

To me 'no' means 'no forever' as well... regardless of the reason for the 'no.'

There's a difference between "I really can't, right now" or "I'm not in the right head space" or any other things... and "No." as a response to something like "Would you like to date me"

If they tell me a 'not now, but soon/later' type of answer, that's different... but if he says, flat out, no... well, then that's it.



popeye1250 -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 2:11:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

What say you?



I say never hold a grudge and always be flexible......you just never know what this could lead to....nothing ventured, nothing gained....what you got to lose, Popeye?.....pride comes before a fall, mate.....


NG, there's no "pride" in the situation.
And she didn't mention anything about wanting to be alone for a while or anything like that. It was just a plain "no".
And at this point if I were to go out with her I'd just be looking for sex.
I asked her out to dinner at a nice restaurant before.



LaTigresse -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 2:12:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: aravain

~FR~

Why are we trying to fix/critique Popeye's situation specifically? Why can't we just answer the question? o.O

To me 'no' means 'no forever' as well... regardless of the reason for the 'no.'

There's a difference between "I really can't, right now" or "I'm not in the right head space" or any other things... and "No." as a response to something like "Would you like to date me"

If they tell me a 'not now, but soon/later' type of answer, that's different... but if he says, flat out, no... well, then that's it.



Then you've got a lot to learn about wemems.



pahunkboy -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 2:14:32 PM)

The other thing - is was she among her friends when you asked?   and were you with friends or anyone she thought was part of your party.  People act differently at times when with buddies...



aravain -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 2:15:41 PM)

Nope, I don't [:)]

dun like the women!

And if a guy is going to play 'hard to get' I can't be bothered :P Likewise with chasing. Just not that interested.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 2:16:27 PM)

You pretty much get one chance to REJECT me.  Kick me to the curb and think you can come BACK?  Not likely.  Otherwise, it all depends on the person.  If it's Domi asking...  I'd have to think about it.   If it were Jeff... [8D]



NorthernGent -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 2:38:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

It was just a plain "no".



Yeah, she's entitled to that, Popeye, she didn't owe you an explanation........as things stand today, she's saying "yes".....that was then, this is now......no use in living your life in the past or the future.....fuck it, in for a penny in for pound and all that.....what could you possibly lose?



DomImus -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 4:02:14 PM)

If she finally sees the error of her ways why should I hold that against her? [;)]



MzMia -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 4:08:35 PM)

Popeye, I am a Capricorn, and I am often as stubborn as a goat.
[;)]
I am the same way, no means no.
It is very hard for most people to really change, so unless I am the one that
has changed, no almost always stays no.
 
I sometimes wish I was more flexible, but 90% of the time, I am glad I stuck
with my NO!
The 10% of the time, I should have changed my mind is just collateral damage.

Great topic, sailor man!
Stick to your no, unless she gets down on her hands and knees and crawls and begs. 



Crush -> RE: No means no. (3/26/2009 4:12:31 PM)

Hell, what's her phone num... nevermind :)





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