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How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 8:12:54 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

I just read on line about a Movie release called :
"SM Judge".
In Belgium.

This is based upon a true story about a husband & wife
who were in a unstable marriage, and his wife suggested
to go into D/s.
So he did, and it went further and further,
that they got involved. Which in the end cost him his job, he was
a judge while this happen, he lost his pension, he lost
the home they lived in, all because of being in D/s.

In an interview in 2005, the couple told openly how depressed
and devastated they we're and how they went to the European Court,
where he was told , driving his wife to a Dungeon,
where she had S/m and he watched,
he got accused of : "being a Pimp, for bringing his
wife there, and they called this act abusing your wife."

The story says he didn't participate,
he just brought her there, on her request,
but he is judged with abuse and prostitution.

This is a Link to their story but it's only in Dutch/Belgium.

So this does make Me wonder,
how far are you prepared to go for D/s?

And how badly do you want to make it known to the world
knowing the possible consequences?

Apparently in 2009 We still aren't ready
for D/s in the World.

I wish you all enough.

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

Post #: 1

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 8:26:58 AM

pinkwind

Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline

For an obviously intelligent couple they showed an unhealthy amount of naivete regarding what they were doing, and the impact that being known for doing it would have on their lives and careers. This isn't rocket science!

my D/s enhances my life with Andy, and we are open about it because we have nothing to lose by that openness. If we had careers and status that needed protecting from people and a society less tolerant than we would hope, i know we would be more circumspect, careful in our dealings with folk, where we went, what we did.

i would go as far as i possibly could to have a D/s relationship including, as it happens, leaving a marriage of 30+ years, a couple of adult ex dependants and a network of friends who did not know, or did not approve of what i was doing. my choice, my loss, my gains. And my risk assessment.

People make choices, some work, some don't, but they generally make them armed with enough information to make a value judgement. If this couple didn't do that, more fool them. They should have known the risks, surely?

Edited to add that with the marriage went a family home i had invested 30 years of time,effort and money in, and took away with me very little to show for all that. And i did it willingly, with such a surety there was no other way.

< Message edited by pinkwind -- 3/18/2009 8:36:34 AM >

_____________________________

pink...
Master Andy's emotion...

From Each According To His Abilities, To Each According To His Needs.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 2

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 8:33:53 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

I am not nor have I ever been willing to risk My personal or public life, My assets, My reputation, nor My UM for D/s.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 3

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 8:34:05 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I will go as far as it takes to further my lifestyle goals as long as it doesn't impact negatively on family. I am not known for delicacy in my opinions and am up front regarding my lifestyles both in private and in public. The sensibilities of others are not permitted to dictate what I do or how I live.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to pinkwind)

Post #: 4

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 8:56:18 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I will go as far as it takes to further my lifestyle goals as long as it doesn't impact negatively on family. I am not known for delicacy in my opinions and am up front regarding my lifestyles both in private and in public. The sensibilities of others are not permitted to dictate what I do or how I live.

With emphasis on the bolded part, IB has stated my own point of view. I also do not lead a high profile life, in any way. I didn't before I got involved in M/s and I don't now. After all, it is part of my personal life. Personal isn't for public consumption.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 5

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 9:12:07 AM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

The magazine is a tabloid. The judge was accused of facilitating prostitution, but he did participate in the S/M, and he has been charged with malicious wounding, as well, the issue being that commercial videos were made of her use and abuse. All of this happened prior to 1997 (!!), when the laws and the tolerance in Belgium were very different from what they are today. I am inclined to opine that, as a Member of the Bar, and an appointed judge, he probably should have known better than to have his wife publicized, and kept his predilections in private, where there would not have been issues. The prosecutor felt that she was not a willing participant, and he made his case in judicial court. The reason why this is being published today is that a movie is being made of the story.

From taking a quick look, he got stupid; there are things that you just can't do when you are in certain positions - if you worked for the U.S. government and you had secret clearance and you made videos of your wife being "done" by third parties, and beaten, you'd very likely get fired too.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 6

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 9:23:49 AM

MistressMeltz

Posts: 124
Joined: 7/8/2007
Status: offline

That seems like extremes to me but some would say that I go through extremes. I have a vanilla relationship with a good man who spoils me. He obliges me in anyways possible. Yet, I seek a true sub in every sense of the word. My fiance is my King. Therefore, I could not see myself belittling him in any way. However, I desire a sub that I can humiliate, spank, train and groom.

Would this be considered going to far or just wanting the best of both worlds becuase I know that I can have them?

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 7

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 10:44:10 AM

cantilena

Posts: 224
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I am not nor have I ever been willing to risk My personal or public life, My assets, My reputation, nor My UM for D/s.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 8

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 10:57:15 AM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

I can be rather activistic but I do not wish to be a martyr.
Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to cantilena)

Post #: 9

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 11:03:32 AM

OrionTheWolf

Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

This is just not a kink for me, it is how I prefer my interpersonal relationships. I have a slave girl, and it is consensual slavery so it does not violate any laws. As far as what occurs within the privacy of my home, that is protected as well. My girl follows three steps behind and to my left where ever we go. She refers to me as Master, whether in public or private. She asks permission to do everything, whether in public or private.

This is me, it is how I live, it is part of my principles, ethics and morality. I am an independent contractor, and have no problems loosing my clients if that is what they want to do. People do not need to approve of me, or how I live, and I am not about to force them to.

Now do I advertise it so that everyone is sure to know? Of course not, but if asked or confronted about it, I am not going to deny it. Society will always be judgemental, and it will always try to force people into being sheep. I will not follow the herd for the sake of blending in and covering my ass.

Others can do as they wish.

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 10

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 11:31:45 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

This is just not a kink for me, it is how I prefer my interpersonal relationships. I have a slave girl, and it is consensual slavery so it does not violate any laws. As far as what occurs within the privacy of my home, that is protected as well. My girl follows three steps behind and to my left where ever we go. She refers to me as Master, whether in public or private. She asks permission to do everything, whether in public or private.

This is me, it is how I live, it is part of my principles, ethics and morality. I am an independent contractor, and have no problems loosing my clients if that is what they want to do. People do not need to approve of me, or how I live, and I am not about to force them to.

Now do I advertise it so that everyone is sure to know? Of course not, but if asked or confronted about it, I am not going to deny it. Society will always be judgemental, and it will always try to force people into being sheep. I will not follow the herd for the sake of blending in and covering my ass.

Others can do as they wish.

kudos to you Sir, i admire your conviction. my Master and i feel the same...don't throw a parade over it, but don't hide or deny who we are and the way we live either.

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)

Post #: 11

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 12:16:03 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

No-one is really interested in how far I would go in a M/s relationship only in so far as they find it interesting to imitate, or interesting as voyeurs or interesting as conformist moralizers. the only one who has any real interest in how far I go is my Owner.
However should I, or indeed anyone, put themselves out there in the public arena they risk trial by public opinion and the media: actually a far better judge house than a jury.
Indeed if I risked myself, my professional life and any of my defendants lives because ofhe sad pressures of conformity it simply would not be worth it.
Sex, sexuality, bdsm and gender are not the political movements for personal freedom they once were. Those freedoms are come and indeed gone as there are more pressing personal freedoms to fight for like the Third World and the ecology of the Planet. The fact that I like to be chained, clamped, cut and whipped has no bearing upon the privation of my fellow human beings.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 12

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 12:19:01 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Life without Ds.
Take away the BDSM.
Living like a 'vanilla'.

These are all subjects that have come up recently. Actually they come up a lot. As if being in a Ds etc relationship makes a person special or different in general. Bubble burst - it doesn't. You live who you are and just be yourself. Personally, I find it ultra weird.
I find it weird that people are so obsessed with the concept that they can't live without it. To me, that's an addiction. If someone comes onto the forum saying they cannot live life without cheeseburgers or chocolate or medication - the majority would tell them to get help.

I don't live for Ds. I live for my family, for my relationship and myself. If I became too sick to serve, then we deal. If Darcy has a don't know moment on a decision, we get through it. I don't get the whole mentality of Ds coming before ones partner or family.

If your so obsessed that you can't live life as yourself and need to quantify it as Ds and that without it, life is unbearable, you need a better life. Get therapy.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 13

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 12:21:28 PM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline

I don't do anything for anyone who doesn't do anything for anyone!

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 14

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 12:38:35 PM

mdr080480

Posts: 4646
Joined: 2/20/2009
Status: offline

I would not go so far as too embarrass my family. It's one thing to be a willing participant and it's another to involve unwilling or unknowing participants.

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

Post #: 15

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 1:06:53 PM

ThomasMore

Posts: 52
Joined: 9/25/2007
Status: offline

Detroit. But no farther!

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 16

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 1:21:46 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Well I'm fully living who I am and I've only gained from that. I think the modern American world forces far more sacrifice from homosexuals who aren't allowed to be married than any Ds hetero couple.

So I'm not sure how to answer, I'd have to live in a world where for some reason I'd have to make choices like that.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ThomasMore)

Post #: 17

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 1:59:38 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThomasMore

Detroit. But no farther!

Sound bite!

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to ThomasMore)

Post #: 18

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 2:50:01 PM

herpreciouspet

Posts: 18
Joined: 11/25/2008
Status: offline

I live in a fairly rural area where rumors could become reasons for me to not be able to continue in my line of work. It's not always who you are or what you actually do as part of a D/s relationship or being "kinked", but rather the perception of who that makes you. My D/s is something that stays at home, or that i am willing to explore in more obvious ways only when away from my home town. Should I have to consider that? no, but do I? of course i do. My standard rule is i never allow pictures that show my body and my face in the same pic, and i don't take them either. False sense of security? probably. It does amaze me though when i hear the total SHOCK of someone when something totally mild is suggested, like light bondage or a spanking. The tabboo is really comical at times. Then again there are those moments when the "little old lady" talks about her kinks in a what are you gonna do about it tone that really makes me smile.

I feel that what you owe to your family is a huge concern when there are UM's involved. It is not fair for them to have to deal with issues related to your sexuality no matter what it is. I was much more cautious even in my own home when my daughter was underage. Now that she is an adult, i have slowly let out my opinions to her and her friends, usually by commenting on a conversation they ahve already started. It's important to me that she grow up not seeing sex as a negative or "bad" thing. I want her to consider her choices in that arena based on likes, dislikes and from a base of strong self-respect and knowledge.

Edited to say...oooops, forgot i was on my pet's sn.....opinion is all mine Hereyesruponyou

< Message edited by herpreciouspet -- 3/18/2009 3:08:49 PM >

_____________________________

kitlet - proudly owned and loved by Hereyesruponyou

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 19

RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? - 3/18/2009 3:54:19 PM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

I function on a day to day basis pretty happily while keeping my private life private. I understand that some people have a need to 'get it out there' but I've never felt any compulsion to be a flag waver about it. I don't have to go beyond my front door for D/s so the question is pretty moot in my case.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 20

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