RE: The Automatic Switch

RE: The Automatic Switch (Full Version)

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Lynnxz -> RE: The Automatic Switch (3/18/2009 5:42:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz I think some of the reluctance to label oneself a switch might stem from people being generally unsupportive of switches in general. I've seen it stated more than once that Switches are confused... on the fence... just trying to get laid... faking it... It is pretty likely that people picked up on that attitude, and decided it wasn't such a great idea to be a Switch. Wrong, wrong and wrong... CM has a general opinion of switches but if you go to other sites or better still, the real world, one will be pleased to discover that switches are accepted widely within the community. Hey, didn't say it was that way everywhere. [:D] I don't spend tooo much time in lifestyle groups, so you may be right there. It's just an attitude I've seen around occasionally. You are right, most people are accepting, but there are a few who are quite vocal about their dislike. The real world comment.... was that so necessary? :P

Andalusite -> RE: The Automatic Switch (3/19/2009 8:41:13 AM)
Fey, I'm more of an "e) All of the above" kind of girl. [;)] I can switch in the same scene with the same person, or I can go for years without switching at all with one person - it mostly depends on what they want, rather than any "switchy" orientation parameters on my part. BTW, I'm very shy about being completely naked in public - I haven't noticed switches being easy to get naked specifically, if anything, I associate that more with submissives who are willing to get naked even if it makes them actively uncomfortable. Dom/mes and tops/sadists/etc. rarely thwack while naked in public, I guess because they tend to feel it makes them seem more vulnerable or something. Jaz, I haven't run into a lot of that attitude specifically directed at me online or in person, but a lot of people do the "switches are _fill in the blank with something negative_" in both places. I have specifically had a couple of men insist that I was submissive rather than a switch when I met them in person, or who told me, "You'll discover who you are after you've been doing this longer" when I had far more experience than they did (mostly random people I met at munches and other events, definitely not people I wanted to date).

pdv99 -> RE: The Automatic Switch (3/19/2009 9:21:15 AM)
I know I may upset a few here, but: IMHO there's no such thing as a Dom/me, or a sub. or a Switch; these are just labels. We can put the label on ourselves, we may put a label on others. But each and every one is a person, a rich complex personality, unique in history, in fears and hopes and pleasures, much more than just a label. We should worry less about labels and more about people. So some of us may only display only dominant traits, some only submissive, some different traits at different times or with different people. We may grow and learn, finding a role that suits us, activities we enjoy, shifting or staying constant. But we are all more complex and wonderful than a one word label.

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