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RE: Frenzy - 3/10/2009 6:04:39 PM

ShaktiSama

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I think "sub frenzy" probably does lean toward the "sub" rather than "bottom" end of the spectrum, overall. Most people who just need to bottom rather than submit would describe the need as an "itch" or a "hunger"--they need to get a beatin' on, and it can be an emotional experience to feel that need, but it doesn't necessarily affect your judgment about getting into relationships.

The need to actually submit is a little more potentially dangerous, because it can get you into actual relationships that are bad for you--not just an occasional bad play date or unsatisfying scene at a public play club.

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RE: Frenzy - 3/10/2009 8:37:43 PM

hotandlonelynFTW

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ive read your posts on this topic out of curiousity because i didnt know what this frenzy was that you were talking about. now i understand and unfortunatly can admit to doing some of this myself. but i am wondering for anyone else that may have went through this..does it actually just stop as quickly as it started? for me, i have had a Daddy since august and known his intent to collar me since mid december but this didnt stop me from getting permission to play play play..i had several play partners in one month and all of a sudden a couple weeks ago i played with an older Dom and after he left i felt at a loss for words i guess. i had a great time i pleased him i was satisfied but i kinda had a feeling that was it i was done. that nite i decided i only wanna play with and please and submit to my DAddy and one other Dom we are both friends with.it was kind of like some invisible force back handed me out of it...anyone have a similar situation?

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RE: Frenzy - 3/11/2009 6:17:30 AM

lovingpet

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I am free to play, play, play too. I will say, my partners are more interested in me getting to experience lots of types of play and personalities of dominants. They are also aware I have a switchie itchy that will need tending to at some point. I think there comes a time when it all clicks. I see it this way. These wonderful people are my connection to all these experiences and people. How much they must be investing in me to do this for me! Realizing this, bonds me that much closer to them. They stand apart from the pack and the invisible grip around my little neck grows that much tighter.

What is most interesting at this point is that I am not with the dominant I fantasized about, though I would love to play like that at some point. I wound up drawn to something completely different. I don't think I could go back to my original ideal as a full relationship because the emotions and connections would be all different. I would only want it as a fun diversion from our usual or in another partner with whom I am not going to pursue a longer range commitment. I can talk about all this at length because I am recently coming out the other side of "frenzy" so to speak. It is different over here.

I also think there is a big difference between initial frenzy and maintenence frenzy. Initial frenzy is when everything is oh so shiny and new. I tend to look at this as the desire for EVERYTHING right now. Ownership, sensantions, experiences and all. It can lead to some bad things as does rushing into anything, but with the added bonus of winding up tied and gagged with basically weapons at the other's disposal. Mantenience frenzy has more to do with getting all these needs met by someone who can remain unattached during an absence or search after losing a partner. This is different and often there is a safety net available of friends and environments that can accommodate this and keep things from getting as out of sorts as they were in initial frenzy. This is not always the case, but I think then we are talking about two different sets of needs and intensities and may cause a differentiation like the one discussed in the OP.

lovingpet

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RE: Frenzy - 3/11/2009 9:51:40 AM

feydeplume

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quote:

I also think there is a big difference between initial frenzy and maintenence frenzy.

Thank you for making that distinction and using such great words for it. I was trying to get that idea across and felt i had done a bad job and i think you said it really well.

Shiny new candy wooot newbie frenzy and been there done that need it again and need it now frenzy are soo very, very different.

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