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RE: Online vs RealTime Relationships - 3/9/2009 5:57:38 PM

apiercedkitty

Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline

~FR~

Not interested in online. i'll be straight-up honest - it'd be too easy to "do" what i was told - as long as i said i did it, it'd be kinda hard to prove, y'know? Granted, i know there would be certain things and certain ways to prove it - but it just seems like a lot of work for a lil bit of nothing in my opinion. i tend to be a bit head-strong so real time is the only way i can be sure i'll do as instructed since i know there are repercussions for anything i fail.

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RE: Online vs RealTime Relationships - 3/9/2009 6:21:57 PM

Zechriel

Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline

Good evening!
I need R/T, and I need it close by. I did not like driving, flying was sooo out of the question. Now when Daddy needs something or wants me to drop by, he just calls and whoosh~! there I am since I only live 10 miles away. I ned to be able to do those little things like picking up something at the store, or dropping off his mail at the post office. Or like last night where my breaker boxblew and he fixed it.It's more than phsyical and I LOVE IT!!! lol Good luck!
Love,
Zechriel

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Post #: 42

RE: Online vs RealTime Relationships - 3/9/2009 6:50:09 PM

LovingMistress45

Posts: 271
Joined: 2/7/2009
Status: offline

Now at this point in my life I only want r/t. I am getting to know a malesub via online until he gets back to the East Coast and then the plan is to meet in person. However back in 1998 I had an online relationship that lasted over a year. Despite what many will say it was a very real and very intense relationship. There were of course many things that I missed by not having him with me, but we both knew we would never meet when we started. At the time for a variety of reasons it suited my needs. However, an online relationship would not meet my needs now. So, I am only looking for r/t and I am only willing to wait a limited time for things to move to r/t.

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Post #: 43

RE: Online vs RealTime Relationships - 3/10/2009 11:26:52 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JulieElizabeth

Hi Everyone,

I was wondering if most people here have had, or are looking for an online relationship or a real time relationship either part time or 24/7.

Personally I have had only online relationships with two wonderfun men, and would love to seek a real (part time) relationship. And so I thought I would put a question up as to if you've experienced one or the other or both :)

Thanks,
Julie

Julie,

Well you wanted to know the culture here on C M and now you do if only by vote. M ost do not realise the value of an on line relationship; which is not to say that it is equal to r/t. It simply is what it is. It is simply an opportunity for many to experience the release of the mind when real time is not available for reasons that many do not understand or are blessed enough not to experience such as physical characteristics that make it near impossible to handle real time.

folks stuck in a poor union but cannot for personal reasons get out of it. shall they be looked down upon ?
O n line is a great filter if people use it right before moving to a real time union. Preferences can be explored before a blowup which ends in a " no fucking way" termination of a possible union.
With newbies that come to me for mentoring I strongly suggest an on line effort with sufficient time to evaluate the other side of the slash.

just my opinion of the point.

C P

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Post #: 44

RE: Online vs RealTime Relationships - 3/10/2009 11:33:27 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

All of my BDSM relationships except one have been real life. One of them was online, telephone and yim and chat room communication, with the expectations of going to real life, but it never happend, since he never had time to meet me, and my poor behavior and rudeness towards him got me released, before the time situation was rectified.

I can easily say now I will never again do online only again, nor will I consider long distance, unless he has plans to move to my city very soon. It's simply not worth it to me to do long distance any more.

My idea of 24/7 is probably different than most, in that we're not playing and being kinky all the time, but the dynamic is always there, no matter what. Weather he's at work or I am at a friends house or out of town. He's always the D and I am always the Babygirl.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JulieElizabeth

Hi Everyone,

I was wondering if most people here have had, or are looking for an online relationship or a real time relationship either part time or 24/7.

Personally I have had only online relationships with two wonderfun men, and would love to seek a real (part time) relationship. And so I thought I would put a question up as to if you've experienced one or the other or both :)

Thanks,
Julie

(in reply to JulieElizabeth)

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Post #: 45

RE: Online vs RealTime Relationships - 3/10/2009 11:37:34 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

My loyalty and honesty and integrity, would keep me from just saying I did it, when I didn't. I respect my partner * and myself*to much to lie to them over something so petty, if I am not willing to do it I'll just say so.

Of course I understand it's not for every one, I won't do online only again after one in the past and realizing how much I need real interaction, but my point is the same:)

quote:

ORIGINAL: apiercedkitty

~FR~

Not interested in online. i'll be straight-up honest - it'd be too easy to "do" what i was told - as long as i said i did it, it'd be kinda hard to prove, y'know? Granted, i know there would be certain things and certain ways to prove it - but it just seems like a lot of work for a lil bit of nothing in my opinion. i tend to be a bit head-strong so real time is the only way i can be sure i'll do as instructed since i know there are repercussions for anything i fail.

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Post #: 46

RE: Online vs RealTime Relationships - 3/10/2009 9:23:27 PM

hotandlonelynFTW

Posts: 21
Joined: 11/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I don't do online only relationships. They would bore me to tears. I need real human interaction and touch.

I need to see that person's real facial expressions, their body language, the touch of their skin against mine, the movement of their lips and breath.

Without those I just can't get any kind of connection with a person.

perfectly worded. this is my sentiments exactly. When i was first introduced to BDSM, i decided i wanted a Master and i wanted to be trained to be a slave. A guy online made me an offer to be my online Master..not knowing any better i agreed. that lasted all of about 3 days. i needed touched and to see the look in Masters eyes and even though i was a newbie, i knew it wouldnt work. i have since decided and from listening to others talk online only Doms or Masters arent for real (just an opinion). personally i dont think theres anyting in the world that can replace how good a hand feels running through my hair as i snuggle on Daddys chest after a particularly hard day and hearing him whisper in my ear "you're Daddys good girl arent you?"makes my heart melt

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Post #: 47

RE: Online vs RealTime Relationships - 3/11/2009 2:16:46 AM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

a study that found that internet relationships tend to move quicker due to the circumstances. Would you happen to know of anything related?

Thanks for your kind words. And no, I can't say I have heard / read that.

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Post #: 48

RE: Online vs RealTime Relationships - 3/11/2009 3:42:49 AM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

I've not had very good luck with online (long distance) relationships. I ended up getting burned by a few game players or those who were less than honest. While the emotional/mental chemistry was spot on. One girl was a picture stealer, who's favorite past time was clipping Doms out at the knees and using men for kinky phone sex and fantasy D/s. She developed strong emotions for me and started to slip up on her stories she was telling. Mainly because she felt very comfortable with me. Another online LD relationship turns out she was married and was feeding me her sister's life story.

To be honest with you, I find myself sucking at online LD relationships with the exception of friendships. Mainly because I have trust/security issues with emotionally investing myself into it, without having met or a physical connection.

I'm used to physical and mental connection relationships. So many things you learn about each other when doing activities together and experiencing real time life together.

With Online Long Distance relationships, Avoidence can occur, somebody can sit there and lie and pretend to be anything they want you to see and believe. Much easier to decieve or play games.

My online LD friendships have gone really well, without any issues or problems.

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Post #: 49

RE: Online vs RealTime Relationships - 3/11/2009 5:34:33 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

Our relationship progressed this way:
He sent me an email here on CM. I responded. He sent me another email. I responded. I offered my phone number. He called me and we talked. He called me some more and we talked some more. We IM'd every day, we talked on the phone every day. Within 6 or 7 weeks of this we met in person. Because of the distance, we could not meet sooner or we would have. We continued to talk and IM every day and meet in person every other month until my apartment lease was up and I could relocate. This process took 13 months. Without the r/l meetings, we both agreed that the relationship could not have survived let alone thrive.

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RE: Online vs RealTime Relationships - 3/11/2009 2:20:42 PM

JulieElizabeth

Posts: 31
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hotandlonelynFTW

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I don't do online only relationships. They would bore me to tears. I need real human interaction and touch.

I need to see that person's real facial expressions, their body language, the touch of their skin against mine, the movement of their lips and breath.

Without those I just can't get any kind of connection with a person.

perfectly worded. this is my sentiments exactly. When i was first introduced to BDSM, i decided i wanted a Master and i wanted to be trained to be a slave. A guy online made me an offer to be my online Master..not knowing any better i agreed. that lasted all of about 3 days. i needed touched and to see the look in Masters eyes and even though i was a newbie, i knew it wouldnt work. i have since decided and from listening to others talk online only Doms or Masters arent for real (just an opinion). personally i dont think theres anyting in the world that can replace how good a hand feels running through my hair as i snuggle on Daddys chest after a particularly hard day and hearing him whisper in my ear "you're Daddys good girl arent you?"makes my heart melt

OMG, that was so sweet...I sooo crave what you are describing :)

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Post #: 51

RE: Online vs RealTime Relationships - 3/11/2009 3:46:52 PM

magicescape

Posts: 13
Joined: 3/6/2009
Status: offline

i am only interested in R/T- but based on the messages i get from out of state and out of country Domiants, i think i am outnumbered

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Post #: 52

RE: Online vs RealTime Relationships - 3/11/2009 3:53:50 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I agree, when I had to have my Cocker Spaniel put to sleep because he was dying, Daddy was there for days on end to support me while I cried, and he got to spend the last night with Sparky too, and if he was long distance or online only, He might of been able to get like maybe one day to be with me, if not even that. And he'd miss so many other important things.

I am also able to help him out of sticky situations sometimes, because we live together, and if he needs help, like one night when the car wouldn't start, wouldn't even turn over, he called me and my Dad and I drove out to see what we could do for him.

When he left his wallet and his ID at home and I saw it we drove down to his job location and droped them off.

If he was 2 hours away or more
, I would be of no help to him in sticky situations.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zechriel

Good evening!
I need R/T, and I need it close by. I did not like driving, flying was sooo out of the question. Now when Daddy needs something or wants me to drop by, he just calls and whoosh~! there I am since I only live 10 miles away. I ned to be able to do those little things like picking up something at the store, or dropping off his mail at the post office. Or like last night where my breaker boxblew and he fixed it.It's more than phsyical and I LOVE IT!!! lol Good luck!
Love,
Zechriel

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Post #: 53