Profile i dont do this and that (Full Version)

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steviemichael -> Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 12:48:32 AM)

Some profiles  are like some Ebay seller !!
some seem to to convey a long list of what a person does not  do ie i dont do online (yawn) i dont do threesomes (yawn)
and the reason s because their ex did not fill theor needs .
Some profiles just dont sell .



DeathinRevelry -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 2:19:43 AM)

Speaking as somebody who has a list of "don't's" in her profile, I can say that I put it there because there are things I'm simply not interested in or won't tolerate. If somebody is looking for those things, why not let them know up front that they'd do better looking elsewhere? I view it as a way to keep from wasting both my time and the time of those who are reading my profile. This way they can apply to those dominants who would be interested in what they want, and I'm not having to send out a bunch of "Sorry, really not interested in that kind of thing" responses to emails.



IronBear -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 2:27:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

Some profiles  are like some Ebay seller !!
some seem to to convey a long list of what a person does not  do ie i dont do online (yawn) i dont do threesomes (yawn)
and the reason s because their ex did not fill theor needs .
Some profiles just dont sell .



What would you rather have China? I list of do's and don't's so you can either follow up or say:  "NEXT",  and move forward; or no lists and waste time, energy and possibly hard earned cash finding these things out the hard way?  Me? I prefer to know something about what I'm perhaps going to head into first.



MstrPBK -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 2:28:03 AM)

On the other end of the spectrum that is why I list my likes on mine - now any slave who wants to know "my maybes" and "will nots" can ask me for my conventions which is 3 pages - maybe soon to be 4 pages.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA



DesFIP -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 3:38:16 AM)

Sensible to me to be straightforward about what you do and don't want in a relationship. Saves time for everyone if you can screen for compatibility upfront.

Of course if you prefer to talk to people, establish a sense of chemistry and then have it all end when you hit deal breakers - go for it. It is after all only your own time you are wasting that way.



LaTigresse -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 3:57:44 AM)

I don't mind a list of don't at all. It tells me right away what the boundaries are.

As an example, a young lady contacted me a couple weeks ago. She had a list of don'ts but a longer list of do's. It even said she might be interested in a poly household, femmedom lead relationships, etc.

After a few emails I got the feeling she was carrying a big hatred of men around. I asked her if she had actually taken the time to read my profile before writing me because it clearly states, somewhere in there, that I share the farm with a male. And, that even though I am a lesbian, it is not likely to change. In addition, a large part of my immediate family that is here regularly is male.

She got angry with me for not telling her sooner. Like my first reply email, instead of my forth, I guess. I simply explained to her that if simply sharing a house with a male, is that hard a limit to her, she might want to clarify that in her profile, as some of the other information would lead one to think otherwise.



BitaTruble -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 4:17:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

Some profiles just dont sell .



So? Just because you don´t want to shop in that store doesn´t mean it´s off limits for other people. Move along if there´s nothing you want to see.



catize -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 4:19:25 AM)

quote:

 Some profiles just dont sell . 

Nor does a whiny post.



InTonguesslave -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 4:35:27 AM)

there does seem to be this 'thing' going on with some D'types that s'types are too picky - the s'type states that they will do this, wont do that, need this, would like that, - and yes, absolutely right....,  after all this is their life, their future happyness and their total right to have a decent chance at finding the right partner.



subangi -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 4:52:42 AM)

Funny thing about profiles though,  you state your preferences, and still it is not read.  I do not wish to be a secondary sub, and I receive emails almost daily seeking a secondary or play partner for a couple. 



VampiresLair -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 5:18:38 AM)

I am not trying to sell, so my profile is pretty clear as to what we DO NOT want and what we do. Amazing the number of offers we get for what we specify we dont want anyway. 



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 5:27:20 AM)

having a "do's and don'ts" list in a profile is better than saying "no limits" only to find out the potential slave/submissive does have limits.



thishereboi -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 5:37:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

Some profiles  are like some Ebay seller !!
some seem to to convey a long list of what a person does not  do ie i dont do online (yawn) i dont do threesomes (yawn)
and the reason s because their ex did not fill theor needs .
Some profiles just dont sell .



No some profiles don't sell. And some profiles are really well done, but then the person comes on the forums and whines like a little boy and the really good profile doesn't matter any more.

note: this is not to say you have a really good profile. Honestly I didn't even look.13



DomThoughts -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 5:42:24 AM)

I have been reading this thread trying to decide how much I agree / disagree with what is said.

I intentionally don't have too much of a shopping list of do's and don'ts because I believe that very largely those limits will be something that will be explored between the two people involved in the relationship, and a thing that was absolute taboo with one partner might actually sound quite appealing with another. Obviously there will be a list of things that you absolutely do / don't want from the experience. For me however I am much more interested in what she is about, what her personality is like, because ultimately if I don't think I'll get on with you as a person I really don't care about your sexual proclivities.

But ultimately, the fact is we are all absolutely different in our requirements and while I would prefer to extract something about a personality from a profile, I can understand why other's will want to understand do's and don'ts. Our profiles are our banner for this world, and regardless of what it says on there - be that a blank profile, or a long winding meander of thoughts - it says a lot about who we are and what are priorities are in being here, with a little lateral thinking we can deduce a great deal from whatever is said in a profile.




sparkyRBF -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 5:46:22 AM)

Of course everyone has a list of do's and don'ts  on their profile, just like an ebay listing you want to know if all the bells and whistles work.  
Although with that being said i do wonder about the profiles i read that says they are submissive or slave but the profile says they won't clean house, they won't cook and serve you dinner, that the relationship is going to be this way or that and you better be financially secure and height weight proportionate, but you have to accept the sub/slave for  who they are and love them for the inside, not the outside.

I just wonder how that works for them.



NYLass -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 5:56:32 AM)

I have my profile very explicit in what I'm looking for and what my limits are.  I won't message someone who has a vague profile.  After I joined I was contacted by someone who had barely anything (except "Fine dining").  I asked if he was into various different "edgier" things.  Amazingly he was.  After a chat session here, he didn't send anymore cmails.  OK, no problem.   A month later, he sends me an identical email to his first one, and a chat request.  He had forgotten our conversation altogether.  So I asked if he liked cutting and branding.  He replied he would never deliberately scar someone.  Turns out he gave whatever answer he thought the person wanted to hear.  For these reasons, I simply don't trust the profiles that are blank, vague or state "Ask me."

If someone's going to stick needles into my tender bits, he damned well better be verrrry experienced.



SassySarijane -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 6:06:25 AM)

My profile states I'm not looking for anything more than friendship. That's my list currently. If/when I change it to looking for a relationship, I will be clear about what I need and what is a dealbreaker for me as far as relationships. That way when someone cmails me I can refer them to it and tell them it was made clear upfront. I'm too old to play bs games anymore in developing relationships. It's better in my opinion to be clear up front on certain things. Saves time and problems at least somewhat.



YoursMistress -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 6:10:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

 Some profiles just dont sell . 

Nor does a whiny post.


[:D]



Evility -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 9:18:07 AM)

While I agree with you that many submissive people are defined more by what they won't do rather than what they will do... wouldn't you rather know the boundaries right up front so you can just click the X and move on?



DomKen -> RE: Profile i dont do this and that (2/26/2009 10:12:39 AM)

I'm always amazed by this. I state pretty clearly in my profile that I'm not an extreme sadist and have little to no interest in hard S/M play. I get at least one note a week from subs seeking exactly what my profile says I don't do. It's annoying and its a waste of both our times.

So when I come across a profile with a list of "I don't"s I read the profile if I was going to otherwise and respect having that info up front.



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