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Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 12:48:32 AM

steviemichael

Posts: 177
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline

Some profiles are like some Ebay seller !!
some seem to to convey a long list of what a person does not do ie i dont do online (yawn) i dont do threesomes (yawn)
and the reason s because their ex did not fill theor needs .
Some profiles just dont sell .

_____________________________

switch/submissive male walking in the path of and learning of my true desires and enjoying what i am discovering

Post #: 1

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 2:19:43 AM

DeathinRevelry

Posts: 33
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

Speaking as somebody who has a list of "don't's" in her profile, I can say that I put it there because there are things I'm simply not interested in or won't tolerate. If somebody is looking for those things, why not let them know up front that they'd do better looking elsewhere? I view it as a way to keep from wasting both my time and the time of those who are reading my profile. This way they can apply to those dominants who would be interested in what they want, and I'm not having to send out a bunch of "Sorry, really not interested in that kind of thing" responses to emails.

_____________________________

We raise bloody hands to the sky and scream, not from fear, but from joy... The cathartic moment when we plunge our hands into the hot blood of our enemies and there is no civilized thought to stop us from dancing on their graves - Laurell K Hamilton

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 2

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 2:27:25 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

Some profiles are like some Ebay seller !!
some seem to to convey a long list of what a person does not do ie i dont do online (yawn) i dont do threesomes (yawn)
and the reason s because their ex did not fill theor needs .
Some profiles just dont sell .

What would you rather have China? I list of do's and don't's so you can either follow up or say: "NEXT", and move forward; or no lists and waste time, energy and possibly hard earned cash finding these things out the hard way? Me? I prefer to know something about what I'm perhaps going to head into first.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 3

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 2:28:03 AM

MstrPBK

Posts: 573
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline

On the other end of the spectrum that is why I list my likes on mine - now any slave who wants to know "my maybes" and "will nots" can ask me for my conventions which is 3 pages - maybe soon to be 4 pages.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 4

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 3:38:16 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Sensible to me to be straightforward about what you do and don't want in a relationship. Saves time for everyone if you can screen for compatibility upfront.

Of course if you prefer to talk to people, establish a sense of chemistry and then have it all end when you hit deal breakers - go for it. It is after all only your own time you are wasting that way.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to MstrPBK)

Post #: 5

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 3:57:44 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I don't mind a list of don't at all. It tells me right away what the boundaries are.

As an example, a young lady contacted me a couple weeks ago. She had a list of don'ts but a longer list of do's. It even said she might be interested in a poly household, femmedom lead relationships, etc.

After a few emails I got the feeling she was carrying a big hatred of men around. I asked her if she had actually taken the time to read my profile before writing me because it clearly states, somewhere in there, that I share the farm with a male. And, that even though I am a lesbian, it is not likely to change. In addition, a large part of my immediate family that is here regularly is male.

She got angry with me for not telling her sooner. Like my first reply email, instead of my forth, I guess. I simply explained to her that if simply sharing a house with a male, is that hard a limit to her, she might want to clarify that in her profile, as some of the other information would lead one to think otherwise.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 6

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 4:17:25 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

Some profiles just dont sell .

So? Just because you don´t want to shop in that store doesn´t mean it´s off limits for other people. Move along if there´s nothing you want to see.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 7

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 4:19:25 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Some profiles just dont sell .

Nor does a whiny post.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 8

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 4:35:27 AM

InTonguesslave

Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
Status: offline

there does seem to be this 'thing' going on with some D'types that s'types are too picky - the s'type states that they will do this, wont do that, need this, would like that, - and yes, absolutely right...., after all this is their life, their future happyness and their total right to have a decent chance at finding the right partner.

< Message edited by InTonguesslave -- 2/26/2009 4:37:04 AM >

_____________________________

aka lally

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 9

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 4:52:42 AM

subangi

Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline

Funny thing about profiles though, you state your preferences, and still it is not read. I do not wish to be a secondary sub, and I receive emails almost daily seeking a secondary or play partner for a couple.

(in reply to InTonguesslave)

Post #: 10

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 5:18:38 AM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline

I am not trying to sell, so my profile is pretty clear as to what we DO NOT want and what we do. Amazing the number of offers we get for what we specify we dont want anyway.

_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss

(in reply to subangi)

Post #: 11

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 5:27:20 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

having a "do's and don'ts" list in a profile is better than saying "no limits" only to find out the potential slave/submissive does have limits.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 12

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 5:37:59 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

Some profiles are like some Ebay seller !!
some seem to to convey a long list of what a person does not do ie i dont do online (yawn) i dont do threesomes (yawn)
and the reason s because their ex did not fill theor needs .
Some profiles just dont sell .

No some profiles don't sell. And some profiles are really well done, but then the person comes on the forums and whines like a little boy and the really good profile doesn't matter any more.

note: this is not to say you have a really good profile. Honestly I didn't even look.13

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 13

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 5:42:24 AM

DomThoughts

Posts: 50
Joined: 11/29/2006
Status: offline

I have been reading this thread trying to decide how much I agree / disagree with what is said.

I intentionally don't have too much of a shopping list of do's and don'ts because I believe that very largely those limits will be something that will be explored between the two people involved in the relationship, and a thing that was absolute taboo with one partner might actually sound quite appealing with another. Obviously there will be a list of things that you absolutely do / don't want from the experience. For me however I am much more interested in what she is about, what her personality is like, because ultimately if I don't think I'll get on with you as a person I really don't care about your sexual proclivities.

But ultimately, the fact is we are all absolutely different in our requirements and while I would prefer to extract something about a personality from a profile, I can understand why other's will want to understand do's and don'ts. Our profiles are our banner for this world, and regardless of what it says on there - be that a blank profile, or a long winding meander of thoughts - it says a lot about who we are and what are priorities are in being here, with a little lateral thinking we can deduce a great deal from whatever is said in a profile.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 14

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 5:46:22 AM

sparkyRBF

Posts: 157
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline

Of course everyone has a list of do's and don'ts on their profile, just like an ebay listing you want to know if all the bells and whistles work.
Although with that being said i do wonder about the profiles i read that says they are submissive or slave but the profile says they won't clean house, they won't cook and serve you dinner, that the relationship is going to be this way or that and you better be financially secure and height weight proportionate, but you have to accept the sub/slave for who they are and love them for the inside, not the outside.

I just wonder how that works for them.

_____________________________

sparkyRBF
Happily owned slave
of
RedBotttomFarms

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 15

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 5:56:32 AM

NYLass

Posts: 409
Joined: 12/30/2008
Status: offline

I have my profile very explicit in what I'm looking for and what my limits are. I won't message someone who has a vague profile. After I joined I was contacted by someone who had barely anything (except "Fine dining"). I asked if he was into various different "edgier" things. Amazingly he was. After a chat session here, he didn't send anymore cmails. OK, no problem. A month later, he sends me an identical email to his first one, and a chat request. He had forgotten our conversation altogether. So I asked if he liked cutting and branding. He replied he would never deliberately scar someone. Turns out he gave whatever answer he thought the person wanted to hear. For these reasons, I simply don't trust the profiles that are blank, vague or state "Ask me."

If someone's going to stick needles into my tender bits, he damned well better be verrrry experienced.

(in reply to DomThoughts)

Post #: 16

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 6:06:25 AM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

My profile states I'm not looking for anything more than friendship. That's my list currently. If/when I change it to looking for a relationship, I will be clear about what I need and what is a dealbreaker for me as far as relationships. That way when someone cmails me I can refer them to it and tell them it was made clear upfront. I'm too old to play bs games anymore in developing relationships. It's better in my opinion to be clear up front on certain things. Saves time and problems at least somewhat.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to NYLass)

Post #: 17

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 6:10:20 AM

YoursMistress

Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

Some profiles just dont sell .

Nor does a whiny post.

_____________________________

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 18

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 9:18:07 AM

Evility

Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

While I agree with you that many submissive people are defined more by what they won't do rather than what they will do... wouldn't you rather know the boundaries right up front so you can just click the X and move on?

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 19

RE: Profile i dont do this and that - 2/26/2009 10:12:39 AM

DomKen

Posts: 19457
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

I'm always amazed by this. I state pretty clearly in my profile that I'm not an extreme sadist and have little to no interest in hard S/M play. I get at least one note a week from subs seeking exactly what my profile says I don't do. It's annoying and its a waste of both our times.

So when I come across a profile with a list of "I don't"s I read the profile if I was going to otherwise and respect having that info up front.

(in reply to Evility)

Post #: 20

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