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Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not jus... - 2/25/2009 9:56:22 PM

Mellissande

Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
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ok, so I'm hoping for some advice on this one. My husband never wants to have sex. He's always "too tired" but all he does at work is play video games and I can never tell what is really going on with him I know I'm fat but I'm working on fixing that for one and I was fat when we got together for two. It never bothered him before that I was fat. I Just don't know anymore. The only possibilities that I keep thinking of are that he's secretly gay, or he's having an affair with one of his officers and I'm secretly the laughing stock of his company, or he just can't stand the sight of me...and any one of these notions makes me cry thinking I'm not good enough for my husband to like to have sex with me...... Like tonight. He fought with me, like physically held me down and wrestled me and pinned me down for half an hour to keep me from touching him, because he was too tired for a ten to fifteen second fuck. I mean come the fuck on. He couldn't have been that tired. and I've been trying to do new positions with him, it's just hurting me and I don't know what do do to make him want to have sex with me anymore.....

I'm hoping for advice from everybody, what tricks and tools you would/have used in this kind of situation.

_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

Post #: 1

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/25/2009 10:12:06 PM

Juliannadelion

Posts: 869
Joined: 7/25/2008
From: circusofthedamned
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande

ok, so I'm hoping for some advice on this one. My husband never wants to have sex. He's always "too tired" but all he does at work is play video games and I can never tell what is really going on with him I know I'm fat but I'm working on fixing that for one and I was fat when we got together for two. It never bothered him before that I was fat. I Just don't know anymore. The only possibilities that I keep thinking of are that he's secretly gay, or he's having an affair with one of his officers and I'm secretly the laughing stock of his company, or he just can't stand the sight of me...and any one of these notions makes me cry thinking I'm not good enough for my husband to like to have sex with me...... Like tonight. He fought with me, like physically held me down and wrestled me and pinned me down for half an hour to keep me from touching him, because he was too tired for a ten to fifteen second fuck. I mean come the fuck on. He couldn't have been that tired. and I've been trying to do new positions with him, it's just hurting me and I don't know what do do to make him want to have sex with me anymore.....

I'm hoping for advice from everybody, what tricks and tools you would/have used in this kind of situation.

Wow, he physically held you down for a half hour, but was actually too tired for sex? Something smells fishy here!

I am so sorry that his neglect is causing you to feel so bad and doubt yourself, when you are trying your best to do better.

How long have you been married? How long have you been going without sex? Is it something that just started recently?? What makes you think it's about your weight? Have you tried sitting down with him and just asking what's wrong? Maybe approaching him about it when you are not actually trying to get lucky will help.

The best thing you can do is love yourself. Know that you are a beautiful wonderful woman and that the problem is not you, but HIM. He kind of sounds like a selfish asshole that's got nothing better to do but bring you down.

I wish you the very best and hope that you are able to work things out.

_____________________________

Do you think this kind of love happens every day? ~ Asher

Bonded by blood, bound to His soul, soon to be his wife, owned by AsherDeLampyr

(in reply to Mellissande)

Post #: 2

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/25/2009 10:27:34 PM

Mellissande

Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
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Yeah, It was fun except for the fact that he just decided that sex is not happening tonight. on the upside, The anger made me go out for a walk lol and I'll probably go back out in a few because I'm still really wired because he pissed me off so royally. We started dating in august 2006 and had sex all the time until he went to basic training in October 2007 then had crazy sex when he got back for the holidays, Then we got married on January 30th 2008 had sex once that night, didn't see eachother again for 6 months because he went to AIT. Since he got back sex has just been so almost nonexsistent. he only wants it like once or twice a month and I'm horny like all the time. I want sex at least every night, but Jeez he's only 21 why would he have such a huge aversion to sex?! an aversion that wasn't there before. from november 2008 until last weekend, We didn't have sex at all, nada NONE it's like he's gone and I have to do without WHILE HE'S STILL HERE. I can deal with it when he's gone, I can understand it then, but I hate this feeling like I'm just not good enough for him anymore. Like he's had better now and doesn't really need me anymore. I've tried talking to him, but he never ever says anything, Just sits there blankly staring around the room like he's thinking "are you done talking yet? Can I go back to my video games now?" He never answers any real question I ask him the most I ever get is a shrug of his shoulders.

_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

(in reply to Juliannadelion)

Post #: 3

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/25/2009 10:28:29 PM

DeviantlyD

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Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Canada
Status: offline

I read your profile and you mention that your husband is in the military. I can't help wonder if that has something to do with it. Maybe some event or situation that he went though created this problem. You can be almost guaranteed that it has little, if anything to do with you. You're going to have to have an adult conversation with him. If possible, I would suggest seeing a counselor together. Sorry I can't offer anything more than that. Good luck with everything!

(in reply to Mellissande)

Post #: 4

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/25/2009 10:29:04 PM

aravain

Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline

I had pretty much the same situation in my last relationship.

And guess what...

HE WAS TOO TIRED.

It really IS that simple, a majority of the time. Lay off, let him come to you and ask YOU for sex, help him relax.

'Playing video games' all day *CAN* be (actually, usually IS) draining. It's a very mental activity that takes a lot of focus.

Plus, some guys just aren't that into sex. Shocking, I know, and discovering that fact pissed me off (but I had the 'sex talk' with my ex and found that while my optimal sexual frequency is multiple times per day, his was once or twice a WEEK), especially because I just can't wrap my head around HOW they can't want it that often.

Also, trying to force him to have sex will make him want it LESS. You know, negative associations and all that (which was part of the problem with my mentioned relationship). It's also called attempted rape if he has to actually physically force you off of him. If you're 'allowed' to have sex outside of the marriage and he doesn't mind... do so. If he minds and you really aren't getting your needs met, it's time to sit down, talk to him, and tell him that, flat out.

Really, though, my suggestion is to just leave him alone. Stop worrying about it, because it's NOT a problem with you. He doesn't want to have sex that often, does that really make so little sense?

(in reply to Mellissande)

Post #: 5

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/25/2009 10:44:09 PM

Mellissande

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Joined: 4/22/2007
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Sorry, By attempted rape you mean tickling him and trying to tease him into wanting sex? I think that was written wrong, He did not hold me down like I'm some lecherous wench out to steal his soul, it was more like wrestling and is almost always the only kind of foreplay I can get out of him. And I'm sorry mentally draining enough that I have to drag him away from the computer to go to bed on time and he's too tired for sex but he could stay up for a few more hours to play the aforementioned video games. Sorry, That excuse doesn't even begin to work.

He is in the military, and I should hope there hasn't been an event. He's never been anywhere besides training. he's only been in the service for just over a year. I've asked him though if there is anything taking away from what used to be our sex life, and he shrugs his shoulders and gives me a blank stare.

"Really, though, my suggestion is to just leave him alone. Stop worrying about it, because it's NOT a problem with you. He doesn't want to have sex that often, does that really make so little sense?" Yes yes it does. Because until he went through his training it was not like this. He knows I cannot handle going without sex for so long it bothers me and I'm not allowed to go outside of our marriage because he won't because he was a virgin when I met him and he's too scared to have an open relationship unless he's gone. He's afraid I'll find somebody better in bed and that I'll magically fall in love with them or that he will do that if he has extramarital sex. It irks my nerves and it is a big problem in our relationship so miss if you'd like to have sex only once a month or not at all for months on end go the fuck ahead and do it as for me I need sex much more often than that.

_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

(in reply to aravain)

Post #: 6

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/25/2009 10:50:13 PM

Mellissande

Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
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Waiting for him to ask me for sex got me 4 months of hell until we finally had a huge fight and had sex that night then three days later he was bitching when I wanted to have sex again saying it would be four times in a row when in all actuality we'd only had sex twice this whole year and they were both on the night we had the fight which also leads me to believe he's doing something on the side when he can't remember how many times we've had sex at such a small number.

Edited to say I am sorry for being rude in the last post, It's just a problem that is really bugging me and to hear you speak so lightly of the fact that I have an almost nonexistent sex life kind of stung.

< Message edited by Mellissande -- 2/25/2009 10:54:18 PM >

_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

(in reply to Mellissande)

Post #: 7

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/25/2009 11:13:24 PM

aravain

Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
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I suppose I read this part wrong:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande
Like tonight. He fought with me, like physically held me down and wrestled me and pinned me down for half an hour to keep me from touching him, because he was too tired for a ten to fifteen second fuck.

that says (to me) you were attempting to force him to have sex (or, really, any sexual contact).

Trust me, I can empathize. Outside of the bounds of a normal sexual relationship, I'm so jacked up and hyper-sexualized it's hard to explain. It's a horrible situation.

However, he obviously doesn't think it's a big deal. He doesn't think (or feel) that sex is a necessity.

If it IS a problem and he won't let you go outside the marriage to feed your needs, then you need to talk to him. If it's a deal breaker (and it was, and would be still, for me) then he needs to know that.

He doesn't want to have sex. That's about as complex as it gets for him, I'm willing to bet. You want to have sex... and I'm willing to bet that it's a LOT more complex than just being horny.

Like I said, I empathize, and I also talked light about it for a reason:

until you understand that it's NOT a big deal to other people you won't be able to deal with it. I *still* haven't completely leapt this hurdle myself, but I'm getting there. I know it's frustrating (trust me... I know. I haven't had sex with more frequency than twice in a month in the past year, so far since I broke up with my ex. That was only one month, too... I've had sex with 8 people other than my ex in the last year, each one once (I guess I'm kinda a slut, but at least I'm a clean one!) to give you an idea), but you have to understand that the fact that it's so important to you, and that you're trying to have sex with him more often than he wants to is equally (if not MORE) frustrating for him.

All that said, if there's truly a personality change since he's gone to training, as you suggest, try to encourage him to go to counseling (not on the military's dime, of course), both on his own AND with you. He needs to understand just how frustrating this is for you, just like you need to understand how it is for him.

(in reply to Mellissande)

Post #: 8

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/25/2009 11:17:50 PM

Vendaval

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Joined: 1/15/2005
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You need to talk with a marriage counselor. If in the beginning your relationship was sexually satisfying for both of you and now there is a big decrease on his part there could be mental/emotional problems related to what happened while he was away.

Any particular life or career stressors? Is he on any medications?

The lack of communication is obviously a problem and you may be the one going to a marriage counselor on your own. Be prepared for that possibility and at least go so that you can have someone listen to you and provide feedback.

Do you masturbate with or without vibrators, dildoes, etc?

I know that is not the same but at least you could get some relief.

Could he be scared of a potential pregnancy and starting a family?

Just some quick ideas off the top of my head.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande
We started dating in august 2006 and had sex all the time until he went to basic training in October 2007 then had crazy sex when he got back for the holidays, Then we got married on January 30th 2008 had sex once that night, didn't see eachother again for 6 months because he went to AIT. Since he got back sex has just been so almost nonexsistent. he only wants it like once or twice a month and I'm horny like all the time.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Mellissande)

Post #: 9

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/25/2009 11:28:54 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
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My advice is, go to a marriage counselor, or any counselor for that matter to clear your thinking, and learn to love and apreciate yourself as a human being, who should not be treated like a leprous dog.   He is being very unkind and destructive to your soul, and you are going to need to take care of yourself, unless you like that kind of abusive treatment.

2nd thing I would do, is stop looking for/harrassing him about sex.   Find yourself a few good toys, and release your energy that way.    When you can discuss with a professional what the problem is, than maybe you two can begin relating to one another intimately again.
There should never be a need for you to go at him, or for him to hold you down... How is it you think you're going to force a fuck out of him anyway, if he doesn't want to?   Do not do that, because if anyone did that to me, I would fight as if for my life.

How important is this relationship to you?    Are you dependent on him financially?   Do you two have little ones?    I'm not terribly patient with someone treatint me unkindly or unlovingly, but than again, I can take care of the basics and not be homeless God willing.    M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to Mellissande)

Post #: 10

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/25/2009 11:30:04 PM

Mellissande

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Joined: 4/22/2007
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I'm on the pill, so no thoughts of family right now, The doc says I'm not healthy enough to get pregnant.

He's not on any meds at all,

and Masturbation doesn't even work much anymore. I mean I've never been able to have an orgasm probably issues I need to work out there, but nothing effecting him unless he is now upset about not being able to please me after all this time, but He's way too self absorbed to be that deep when it comes to sex. If I offer him a blow job he jumps at the opportunity though, any time day or night. He'd love a blow job but not sex.

He's deploying in December/January, so I mean that Might be a factor but I genuinely doubt it. He's known for quite a while that he'd be deploying in Early 2010

_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 11

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/25/2009 11:37:18 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande
and Masturbation doesn't even work much anymore. I mean I've never been able to have an orgasm probably issues I need to work out there, but nothing effecting him unless he is now upset about not being able to please me after all this time

That would upset me to the point of not wanting to do it, but I don't know about him. I don't like sexual accrobatics, but like to be with someone where the hotness just is, and sex is satisfactory for both of us.

As for masturbation, Vendaval asked, and I agree, do you use dildos and vibrators? Maybe in addition to some good porno?

M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to Mellissande)

Post #: 12

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/25/2009 11:39:53 PM

aravain

Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
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oh wait, you're not including oral sex as under the umbrella of sex?

It's clear he is...

Also, from a logical standpoint, he might not see the point in having intercourse if (please forgive the wording, because I know it's not true) you get no pleasure from it.

Men who aren't specifically sexually aware don't always understand that for women (and, yes, even men, sometimes) it's NOT about an orgasm as the end goal. I know that when I enjoy sex the most, it's when my orgasm is entirely inconsequential and sometimes doesn't even happen. He might see actual sex as just extra work for the same ending that a simple hummer provides (to put it crudely).

If he deploys around then, be may be trying to develop a camel system for himself, as well, where he *won't* need or feel the impulse to have sex while he's deployed (talking to one friend from high school that enlisted, the entire reason he quit was because he couldn't deal with the lack of ability to even pleasure himself), and he may (subconsciously) be trying to develop the same in you.

In any case, it's a good call to see a therapist (on your end) for sexual issues, to see a marriage counselor together, and also for HIM to see a therapist as well if you truly do feel like he's actually changed.

(in reply to Mellissande)

Post #: 13

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/25/2009 11:40:00 PM

Mellissande

Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline

oh yes to all, Sorry thought I'd answered that one lol yeah I have a few toys, but they're just not near the same...

_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)

Post #: 14

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/25/2009 11:48:32 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande

I'm on the pill, so no thoughts of family right now, The doc says I'm not healthy enough to get pregnant.

Does he want a family though?

He's not on any meds at all,

Much of your description of him is characteristic of depression.

and Masturbation doesn't even work much anymore. I mean I've never been able to have an orgasm probably issues I need to work out there,

Yes, you need to work on your own sexuality and that includes the mind not just the body.

but nothing effecting him unless he is now upset about not being able to please me after all this time, but He's way too self absorbed to be that deep when it comes to sex. If I offer him a blow job he jumps at the opportunity though, any time day or night. He'd love a blow job but not sex.

Now that is just plain selfish on his part. Like FullfigRIMAAMI mentions you really need to reconsider the long term future of this marriage and your own personal happiness.

He's deploying in December/January, so I mean that Might be a factor but I genuinely doubt it. He's known for quite a while that he'd be deploying in Early 2010

And he may be pulling away emotionally and sexually because leaving before was so hard on him. But what are you going to do when he leaves again?

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Mellissande)

Post #: 15

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/26/2009 12:16:08 AM

Mellissande

Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline

He knows that I get pleasure from it, I do my best to compliment him and help guide him with what feels good and what just hurts. He'd been doing very well learning and working toward mutual satisfaction rather than a slam bam once a day thing. But he's i don't know he seems so much more distant now, like he's here, but on another plane. I know he's scared of being deployed, I know the thought scares the shit out of him. And he's agreed to see a counselor if I take the first step and have his sargent get him one, but he is afraid to get help on his own too... He doesn't seem depressed to me, I really truly know depression He just seems like he's trying to separate himselffrom me but not everything else in his life. Like he's so scared of losing me that he wants to make it so it won't hurt if he does sort of thing... I dunno. Thank you all for the advice, You've certainly got me thinking. The issues here go way deep and I will update you all on how counseling goes for the both of us.

_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 16

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/26/2009 12:23:42 AM

Mellissande

Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

Does he want a family though?

But what are you going to do when he leaves again?

He doesn't want a family right now, I do so badly that he might be finally warming up to the idea, but nowhere near enough for it to effect our sex.

and He's getting a laptop with webcam and mine already has webcam so I think we'll be good on that front. Much better off than when he was in training and we only got to talk over the phone.

_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 17

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/26/2009 1:01:32 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande

I'm on the pill, so no thoughts of family right now, The doc says I'm not healthy enough to get pregnant.

He's not on any meds at all,

and Masturbation doesn't even work much anymore. I mean I've never been able to have an orgasm probably issues I need to work out there, but nothing effecting him unless he is now upset about not being able to please me after all this time, but He's way too self absorbed to be that deep when it comes to sex. If I offer him a blow job he jumps at the opportunity though, any time day or night. He'd love a blow job but not sex.

He's deploying in December/January, so I mean that Might be a factor but I genuinely doubt it. He's known for quite a while that he'd be deploying in Early 2010

First, he is willing to see a counselor...good.

Second, from your early posts it seems as if you are having some serious self esteem issues.
Get your own therapist...work on you.

I am wondering if the reason why you are wanting sex is because the attention from him validates you in some way...going back again to your self-esteem issues again.

You can not, in reality, make him want to have sex with you and you are likely harming your relationship by trying to force the issue.
That he would be physically aggressive in trying to hold off your advances... "No" should be respected.
He will only resent you if you try to push the point.

Focus on your own issues: your health, your self esteem and learning about yourself, so that you can enjoy masturbation, so that you can enjoy having orgasms and so you will feel better.

There is nothing wrong with NOT having orgasms but yes, his not being able to please you may be a factor in his reluctance.
When you are giving him a blowjob, he doesn't have to worry about failing to please you.
You know there are issues you need to resolve.
It has nothing to do with his not being a good lover.
(But he may not know that.)
Do both of you a favor and get help with them.

You can not change him.
You can change yourself.

(in reply to Mellissande)

Post #: 18

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/26/2009 8:36:01 AM

Coldwarrior57

Posts: 297
Joined: 12/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande

Sorry, By attempted rape you mean tickling him and trying to tease him into wanting sex? I think that was written wrong, He did not hold me down like I'm some lecherous wench out to steal his soul, it was more like wrestling and is almost always the only kind of foreplay I can get out of him. And I'm sorry mentally draining enough that I have to drag him away from the computer to go to bed on time and he's too tired for sex but he could stay up for a few more hours to play the aforementioned video games. Sorry, That excuse doesn't even begin to work.

He is in the military, and I should hope there hasn't been an event. He's never been anywhere besides training. he's only been in the service for just over a year. I've asked him though if there is anything taking away from what used to be our sex life, and he shrugs his shoulders and gives me a blank stare.

"Really, though, my suggestion is to just leave him alone. Stop worrying about it, because it's NOT a problem with you. He doesn't want to have sex that often, does that really make so little sense?" Yes yes it does. Because until he went through his training it was not like this. He knows I cannot handle going without sex for so long it bothers me and I'm not allowed to go outside of our marriage because he won't because he was a virgin when I met him and he's too scared to have an open relationship unless he's gone. He's afraid I'll find somebody better in bed and that I'll magically fall in love with them or that he will do that if he has extramarital sex. It irks my nerves and it is a big problem in our relationship so miss if you'd like to have sex only once a month or not at all for months on end go the fuck ahead and do it as for me I need sex much more often than that.

heres my 2 Cents.you have valid points and questions.
He may have a valid reason and is either affraid to present them to you for fear of hurting your feelings more.
In life like in cooking presentation is every thing.
you said you are over weight, you are also working on that. good for you.
but when he is off at work and comes home , are you showered and dress presentably?
if he comes home and your funky some guys like that some dont.

_____________________________

"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
-- George Orwell

(in reply to Mellissande)

Post #: 19

RE: Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not... - 2/26/2009 8:58:18 AM

BlackPhx

Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

Depression is the number one killer of sex drives in men and women. He may BE depressed and scared about deployment ( it would be odd if he wasn't) and indeed pulling back from you emotionally as well in anticipation that he may not come back the same man who leaves and be rejected. That he is willing to see a counselor is good, I would suggest couples as well as individual counseling so you both feel free addressing private issues also. If you are not orgasmic ( and many women are not) perhaps just cuddling and touching would suffice until things are kickstarted again so to speak. Romantic dinners, and walks don't have to end in sex, but can often be veryy fulfilling in their own right and begin to pull the two of you back together and to a place you can talk without arguing.

May I suggest a book called the Five languages of Love by Gary Chapman, there is one for men and one for women. It may help. You can find out more at this site http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/ . They are actually very good and it is easy to see where we stop giving our partners what they need to feel loved and how to restart doing it. He also has advice on how to keep your relationship from becoming a casualty of war for those in the military on the site.

Good Luck

poenkitten

< Message edited by BlackPhx -- 2/26/2009 9:00:56 AM >

(in reply to Mellissande)

Post #: 20

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All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> Sexual advice, vanillaish(advice from everybody not just a specific subgroup)

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