RE: My obedience IS my consent

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RE: My obedience IS my consent - 2/14/2009 9:53:49 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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No punishment dynamic here either. But our relationship is not based on obedience, it is based on emotional transparency so if I fail to do something that is less important than telling him what is happening with me. And since punishing me for not feeling able to confide in him is not going to make me feel more safe and more able to confide in him, it isn't a technique that would work for us.

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RE: My obedience IS my consent - 2/14/2009 11:14:35 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
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quote:

I find that have realistic expectations for behavior coupled with an understanding that we all make mistakes goes a long way in helping a Ds or M/s dynamic thrive. Fox makes mistakes but he does disobey. I make mistakes but I never give up my responsibilities as the owner. Maybe we have simplistic view of our world but at the core that is what defines our dynamic.

This closely matches my thinking. There is a lot of discussion about consent on the part of the submissive; but doesn’t the dominant consent also? I see it as a matter of mutual agreement with the dominant person accepting the submissive partner as humanly prone to lapses in ability, judgment, or mindfulness at times. In addition, both partners have the prerogative to consent (or not) to the specific parameters of the relationship.

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"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
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Post #: 42