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RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 5:18:24 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

So, any comments on how to avoid people like this, and moreover, her friends writing me are now telling me that she is writing some nasty things about me to others I have not met.


If by age 37 you haven't learned how to handle or avoid crazy people....you are in for a lifetime (or at least 10 more years of crazy people trampling at your doorstep.

Learn how to turn your 'welcome crazy people' doormat upside down aka quit tolerating it and ending up askin public opinion on something that should come naturally.

quote:

  I am getting mails from others about it now.  


Likely the 'others' are her too??  If not, even crazy people enjoy the friendship of other loons. Same advice for them nuts, delete and block.  When you stop playing their game, they lose interest and run along to terrorize another. 

Do a search on forums to see just how many start similar threads.  Start your own 'poor me' group.

< Message edited by came4U -- 2/7/2009 5:23:26 PM >

(in reply to QuixoticErrant)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 5:21:27 PM   
QuixoticErrant


Posts: 260
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		I truly hope that she is not following me around the internet.  Believe me, I am happy that I was smart enough to not give her any personal details.

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 5:21:39 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline 		       You are all saying "crazy" like it is a bad thing.  Psycho-bitches tend to be pretty awesome, in the sack, or on the rack...  At least a time or two.

      Have fun.  Wear a rubber, and never tell her you real last name. 

_____________________________

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


(in reply to QuixoticErrant)
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RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 5:23:48 PM   
MyWorldCT


Posts: 98
Joined: 1/23/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic

      You are all saying "crazy" like it is a bad thing.  Psycho-bitches tend to be pretty awesome, in the sack, or on the rack...  At least a time or two.

    


True dat.  (had to say it again... sorry)

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RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 5:26:17 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		So the op was so desperate to get laid he kept giving more and more chances to someone he knew he didn't like. Next time don't be desperate, it attracts bottom feeders.

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(in reply to QuixoticErrant)
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RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 5:34:55 PM   
laura2161


Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline 		Maybe it's the 'almost' full moon or some such nonense; You're getting quite a few nasty replies.

That being said, chaulk it up to a lesson learned; remember that block and ignore are your friends, Always remember to never 'feed' an internet stalker (IE: letting them know they got under your skin) and have a good time :-)

laura




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(in reply to QuixoticErrant)
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RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 5:38:16 PM   
QuixoticErrant


Posts: 260
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

So the op was so desperate to get laid he kept giving more and more chances to someone he knew he didn't like. Next time don't be desperate, it attracts bottom feeders.


There is no call to assume that. You do not understand the volume of mail on my part (few) compared to the volume on hers (many).  I've had this account less than two weeks and I blocked her in a few days.  I am not so desperate.  What I would be interested in knowing though is, since I am new to the idea of tracking them down through this site - or any site, what others have done when they have unfortunately corresponded with "bottom feeders" as you put it, who seem to still be bothering them after they have been blocked.

< Message edited by QuixoticErrant -- 2/7/2009 5:40:43 PM >

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RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 5:50:11 PM   
QuixoticErrant


Posts: 260
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laura2161

Maybe it's the 'almost' full moon or some such nonense; You're getting quite a few nasty replies.

That being said, chaulk it up to a lesson learned; remember that block and ignore are your friends, Always remember to never 'feed' an internet stalker (IE: letting them know they got under your skin) and have a good time :-)

laura





Well said and thanks.

(in reply to laura2161)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 6:17:14 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant

You are quite right.  I know, I really get that I should have just blocked her from the first sense that things were not quite right.  I made a newbie mistake there.  The partners I have met before have been in a more face to face way in the past.  Normally, I have many more queues to go from before talking with them.  It is normally my nature to at least give people a chance before rendering judgment.


Don't fret to much about all this. You made a mistake, and wont be your last one. Life is for learning and if we don't make mistakes how do we learn. Now you will discern better and in the end that is a good thing to learn:)

(in reply to QuixoticErrant)
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RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 6:21:25 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant

I truly hope that she is not following me around the internet.  Believe me, I am happy that I was smart enough to not give her any personal details.


Paranoia can make you crazy. What I dont get is why you devoting so much energy about all this. You screwed up. It is done. Best you move forward, and get rid of this paranoia.

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RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 6:26:53 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant

I truly hope that she is not following me around the internet.  Believe me, I am happy that I was smart enough to not give her any personal details.


Your name here is the one you were using when you were communicating with her...right? So why wouldn't she read this thread? Honestly, I'd like to hear her side.

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RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 7:26:45 PM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laura2161

Maybe it's the 'almost' full moon or some such nonense; You're getting quite a few nasty replies.

Yeah, I don't get that. Maybe I'm crazy too, but the OP doesn't sound that unusual to me.
In the past it's been my experience that because I've gotten so few leads, I'm reluctant to rule any out without fairly conclusive evidence.
A lot of things get stalled because of people's varying notions of internet communication protocol, a lot of which are more often assumed than discussed.

For instance, what further info did the OP need? That could be weird, depending on the details.
I can understand wanting to meet in a public place before getting into personal information.
Sometimes you can't really know if you find someone trustworthy until their sitting across the table from you.

People are paranoid about giving any to all kinds of info over the net, or meeting someone off the net, etc.

Sometimes our criteria to feel assured about something just doesn't match up - it doesn't necessarily mean one or both people are crazy.

(in reply to laura2161)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 7:42:57 PM   
QuixoticErrant


Posts: 260
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha

quote:

ORIGINAL: laura2161

Maybe it's the 'almost' full moon or some such nonense; You're getting quite a few nasty replies.

Yeah, I don't get that. Maybe I'm crazy too, but the OP doesn't sound that unusual to me.
In the past it's been my experience that because I've gotten so few leads, I'm reluctant to rule any out without fairly conclusive evidence.
A lot of things get stalled because of people's varying notions of internet communication protocol, a lot of which are more often assumed than discussed.

For instance, what further info did the OP need? That could be weird, depending on the details.
I can understand wanting to meet in a public place before getting into personal information.
Sometimes you can't really know if you find someone trustworthy until their sitting across the table from you.

People are paranoid about giving any to all kinds of info over the net, or meeting someone off the net, etc.

Sometimes our criteria to feel assured about something just doesn't match up - it doesn't necessarily mean one or both people are crazy.


I asked for such ridiculous things as what she was interested in outside of BDSM and to see her photo before meeting her.

After the apologetic mail, she told me that she would not IM or reveal herself with an IM.  But, she demanded we meet.  She refused to send a photo.  I suggested that I would see her face if I met her and that I was getting rather annoyed at clearly being played with.  She demanded we meet again.

She finally tripped my red flags enough that I blocked her.

Those that have written that I should not waste any more energy on this are correct. 

I would like very much to redirect the discussion a little more towards the:  OK I really am new to the idea of looking online for partners.  I have had many partners that I met through more face to face means, but, I am rather new to the whole doing this online thing, and I am mostly here out of curiosity. Clearly, there is a matter of trial and error, and just as clearly, I should have not played along with this person in even the slightest and just obeyed my gut. 

The question I would like to repose is, how many truly unpleasant people have you encountered on here?  I can say in my short time here, that I have met some very kindred spirits that I like quite a lot.  That said, what are other's experiences with the "bottom feeders" as it was so well phrased in someone else's reply.

< Message edited by QuixoticErrant -- 2/7/2009 7:45:14 PM >

(in reply to Jeptha)
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RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 7:44:41 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Heh... welcome to the internet?

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HBIC



(in reply to QuixoticErrant)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 7:48:07 PM   
SomethingCatchy


Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline 		How many unpleasent people? Hundreds! Thousands! Too many to give a rats ass about. Out of the dust came one, and that's all that matters.

If you're curious about peoples bad luck on the internet, there's a nifty little search feature here on the forum, AND you can google it too!

(in reply to QuixoticErrant)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 7:49:11 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		You mentioned that her friends are e-mailing you. I wonder why none of them are commenting here?

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to QuixoticErrant)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 7:50:01 PM   
Tinkerer


Posts: 136
Joined: 7/18/2008
Status: offline 		I'v been fairly lucky and not met many at all. Maybe one or two at tops. Then again, I'm a guy, so I have to do a lot more legwork and choose who I message, people tend to not message me. I also am fairly picky about who I even bother contacting. They have to have a detailed profile, similar interests, and sound half-way intelligent.

Watch your 6,

Tinkerer

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 7:59:40 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

The question I would like to repose is, how many truly unpleasant people have you encountered on here?  I can say in my short time here, that I have met some very kindred spirits that I like quite a lot.  That said, what are other's experiences with the "bottom feeders" as it was so well phrased in someone else's reply.


Hi Quixotic
First let me state that I am not searching for a Dom, so without that worry I see things in a different light.

Let's say you go to dungeon or a munch and introduce yourself. Shortly after you start complaining about unpleasant people there. Tell me who are you going to attract to you, by doing that?

It makes no sense to me to come to the internet, hit a message board with complaints about the people that use this program, or any other program. You are not the only one that does this. Each time I see someone doing this, I think are they seriously wanting to find someone? All they do is complain. I know for me a complainer would not have a minute of my time getting to know me.

Yes it is hard to find the right combination, but why starty with a hinderance as your lead in.
oceanwynds

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 8:06:10 PM   
bamagirl4u


Posts: 151
Joined: 12/25/2008
Status: offline 		Move and know you learned a good lesson...hope it improves for you.  I have met someone from here and he is really nice!  But only after talking a longgggggggg time...best of luck to you..

_____________________________

~Don't settle for the One you can live with~~Wait for the One you can't live without.~
~To thine own self be true~~no compromise.~

(in reply to oceanwynds)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Question about Crazy People - 2/7/2009 8:11:26 PM   
QuixoticErrant


Posts: 260
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

quote:

The question I would like to repose is, how many truly unpleasant people have you encountered on here?  I can say in my short time here, that I have met some very kindred spirits that I like quite a lot.  That said, what are other's experiences with the "bottom feeders" as it was so well phrased in someone else's reply.


Hi Quixotic
First let me state that I am not searching for a Dom, so without that worry I see things in a different light.

Let's say you go to dungeon or a munch and introduce yourself. Shortly after you start complaining about unpleasant people there. Tell me who are you going to attract to you, by doing that?

It makes no sense to me to come to the internet, hit a message board with complaints about the people that use this program, or any other program. You are not the only one that does this. Each time I see someone doing this, I think are they seriously wanting to find someone? All they do is complain. I know for me a complainer would not have a minute of my time getting to know me.

Yes it is hard to find the right combination, but why starty with a hinderance as your lead in.
oceanwynds


Your points are well taken.  No, when I meet people, I generally do not go about being negative. I suppose I had a lot of motivations for making the OP.  Part of it was to gauge the tenor of the crowd.  As I read the responses, you have not been rude, some people have been genuinely friendly, others have been quite obnoxious.  Call it an experiment to see what the place is like.

(in reply to oceanwynds)
Profile   Post #: 40
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