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RE: Living lifestyle/married vanilla - 2/6/2009 6:17:49 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

It is whatever it is for you. Who cares what anyone else thinks?

What she said.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

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RE: Living lifestyle/married vanilla - 2/6/2009 6:36:56 AM

MarcEsadrian

Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressAinCT

Can a person live or consider themselves Lifestyle D/s and be married to or have a vanilla significant other? Is the definition of "Lifestyle D/s" or "Lives it 24/7" that one has to always have Dominants or slaves?

In truth those terms are still umbrellas covering a lot of ground. Most people wielding "lifestyle D/s" or "24/7" t-shirts to describe themselves still have a lot more in common with ordinary life than the alt lifestyle mythology would suggest. Those who frame the entirety of their lives in D/s tend to be as rare as four-leaf clovers.

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RE: Living lifestyle/married vanilla - 2/6/2009 8:49:44 AM

Wickad

Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
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(fast reply)

Greetings,

My partner is a Dominant man. I am a Dominant woman. We do not play or submit to each other. Our relationship is pretty vanilla.

That being said, we are both seeking a long term BDSM partner. He is looking for a submissive/bottom and I'm looking for a slave. We aspire to have a poly household and yes, we will consider ourselves 24/7 at that point. Currently, we consider ourselves 'lifestyle' as BDSM (specifically Leather) is a mindset and not simply a series of disjointed actions.

... and what 'thetammyjo' said.

Wickad

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RE: Living lifestyle/married vanilla - 2/6/2009 9:06:23 AM

Amaros

Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
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I'm beginning to think that 24/7 just means you can't imagine doing anything else.

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RE: Living lifestyle/married vanilla - 2/6/2009 1:39:50 PM

MissGingerrella

Posts: 33
Joined: 5/26/2008
Status: offline

I'm in the same boat as you, my husband is vanilla, but understand and respects my needs and desires.

I enjoy my kink label-free. The most important thing is being happy.

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RE: Living lifestyle/married vanilla - 2/7/2009 3:30:31 AM

humbledude64

Posts: 47
Joined: 1/12/2008
From: Palm Beach Gardens, FL
Status: offline

Great question!

Definitions are all very slippery. I was a vegan for years. Everyone pronounced it "vee-gan". Oh, it drove me crazy. Afterall, you're not a "vee-getarian", you don't eat "vee-getables". They just said it that way to be different, and it was stupid and I refused to pronounce it that way, and- damn it- didn't everyone try to correct me. Some one even had the gaul to tell me I wasn't a vegan if I didn't say it that way. Ay carumba! By the way, I see webster.com has four pronounciations of it on their website with "vee-gan" being first.

I encourage you to define yourself; be happy, play safe and don't sweat the small stuff. There will always be somebody to take a contradictory stand on any issue.

Reminds me of the classic Monty Python skit (sorry, don't remember it word for word anymore):

"I'd like to buy an argument."
"No, you don't"
"Yes, I do."
"No, you do not."
"YES, I DO!"
"No, you don't.... and that will be three pounds."
"Oh, okay, so this is the argument."
"No, it isn't."

LOL...

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RE: Living lifestyle/married vanilla - 2/8/2009 4:23:07 PM

heartbound

Posts: 43
Joined: 1/11/2008
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I am coming from the same viewpoint as you are. I am married to someone who is vanilla and have a lifestyle relationship with a wonderful Mistress. My husband knows about my relationship and there are no secrets as to the nature of the relationship. My husband also attempted the dominant role once and it didn't work for either one of us.

I am not a true believer in the concept of a 24/7 relationship. I don't think there can be a relationship where one person is the absolute total focus of another person 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Most of us, whether vanilla or not, still have family commitments, employment, or even hobbies we enjoy.

However, I do consider myself in a committed D/s relationship. I don't know if there is a universal definition for "lifestyle". I tend to think of it as people who can live openly in a D/s relationship at all times. Obviously, some people are able to live like that, and some of us have to appear vanilla to the outside world.

As long as you are happy in your own relationship(s), it really does not matter what anyone else has to say about it.

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