Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

If you missed church last Sunday...here


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> If you missed church last Sunday...here Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
If you missed church last Sunday...here - 1/31/2009 8:22:51 AM   
MissEnchanted


Posts: 510
Status: offline
> For those of you who missed church on
> Sunday, here is a recap!
>
>
> Four Worms and a lesson____
>
> A minister decided that a visual
> demonstration would
> add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
>
>
> Four worms were placed into four separate
> jars.
>
> The first worm was put into a container of
> alcohol.
>
> The second worm was put into a container
> of cigarette smoke.
>
> The third worm was put into a container of
> chocolate syrup.
>
> The fourth worm was put into a container
> of good clean soil.
>
>
>
> At the conclusion of the sermon, the
> Minister reported the following results:
>
>
> The first worm in alcohol -Dead.
>
>
> The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead
>
>
>
> Third worm in chocolate syrup -Dead
>
>
> Fourth worm in good clean soil -Alive.
>
>
> So the Minister asked the congregation -
>
>
>
> What can you learn from this demonstration?
>
>
> Maxine was setting in the back, quickly
> raised her hand and said,
>
>
> "As long as you drink, smoke and eat
> chocolate, you won't have worms!"
>
> That pretty much ended the service.
>
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: If you missed church last Sunday...here - 1/31/2009 8:39:21 AM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline 		good grief, maybe I'm dense but I'm not sure I get the original message either.  Was he saying that eternal life and salvation comes from avoiding temptation, dying and being buried in holy ground?  I guess I should go tomorrow and see what I've been missing. 

yours


_____________________________

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to MissEnchanted)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: If you missed church last Sunday...here - 1/31/2009 9:33:17 AM   
MissEnchanted


Posts: 510
Status: offline 		Heeheehee Yours!



(in reply to YoursMistress)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: If you missed church last Sunday...here - 1/31/2009 9:50:47 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		The Moral of his original sermon:

The Pastor is a Sadistic Son of a Bitch who was willing to Kill 3 of Gods Creatures to teach a lesson. What Lesson?

The Pastor likes to watch things Die in Jars.

Sick Bastard.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to MissEnchanted)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: If you missed church last Sunday...here - 1/31/2009 10:19:32 AM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		The pastor had the right idea just the wrong approach.  He assumed and that was his first mistake.  funny

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: If you missed church last Sunday...here - 1/31/2009 11:41:30 AM   
GoodFeathers


Posts: 202
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		I have a question or two:  How many cigarettes did the good padre have to smoke in order to fill a jar with enough smoke to kill the worm?  Moreover, how did he get it to stay in the jar while he grabbed the lid?  Thirdly, how many children left church that morning thinking it was okay to make your prey suffer for the sake of demonstration?! 




_____________________________

"The more I learn, the more I realize I haven't learned enough."

(in reply to Steponme73)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: If you missed church last Sunday...here - 1/31/2009 5:31:58 PM   
Uyraell


Posts: 71
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		The worm dead in cigarette smoke is a non-sequitor in any case: Worms dont have lungs, oxygen is absorbed directly through the outer dermis into the bloodstream.   Therefore, the worm cannot have died from the cigarette smoke, but rather, lack of available oxygen.   Any oxygen-dependant organism would die also, deprived of sufficient oxygen.

As to the Pastor employing such methods: that is a simple demonstration that to a Church any means of ruling it's congregation is legitimate, which, after all, is truly what any church is about.


_____________________________

^Uyraell^
"Honi-Soit Qui Mal'Y Pense":"Ill unto He who ill of it thinks".
EdIII Rex Britaniam AD1348.
"Wan Schon ist Besser schon":"Be it Done, Best be it done well".
Attr. to F Barbarossa Rex Germania AD 1123-1190.
"^Aligaes: Amore vel Ira^"

(in reply to GoodFeathers)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: If you missed church last Sunday...here - 1/31/2009 10:01:10 PM   
MissEnchanted


Posts: 510
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

The Moral of his original sermon:

The Pastor is a Sadistic Son of a Bitch who was willing to Kill 3 of Gods Creatures to teach a lesson. What Lesson?

The Pastor likes to watch things Die in Jars.

Sick Bastard.

Steel

hahahaha! 

Edited to say: you are all making me giggle or Lol.

Thanks!


< Message edited by MissEnchanted -- 1/31/2009 10:03:31 PM >

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 8
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> If you missed church last Sunday...here Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078