If you missed church last Sunday...here (Full Version)

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MissEnchanted -> If you missed church last Sunday...here (1/31/2009 8:22:51 AM)


> For those of you who missed church on
> Sunday, here is a recap!
>
>
> Four Worms and a lesson____
>
> A minister decided that a visual
> demonstration would
> add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
>
>
> Four worms were placed into four separate
> jars.
>
> The first worm was put into a container of
> alcohol.
>
> The second worm was put into a container
> of cigarette smoke.
>
> The third worm was put into a container of
> chocolate syrup.
>
> The fourth worm was put into a container
> of good clean soil.
>
>
>
> At the conclusion of the sermon, the
> Minister reported the following results:
>
>
> The first worm in alcohol -Dead.
>
>
> The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead
>
>
>
> Third worm in chocolate syrup -Dead
>
>
> Fourth worm in good clean soil -Alive.
>
>
> So the Minister asked the congregation -
>
>
>
> What can you learn from this demonstration?
>
>
> Maxine was setting in the back, quickly
> raised her hand and said,
>
>
> "As long as you drink, smoke and eat
> chocolate, you won't have worms!"
>
> That pretty much ended the service.
>



YoursMistress -> RE: If you missed church last Sunday...here (1/31/2009 8:39:21 AM)

good grief, maybe I'm dense but I'm not sure I get the original message either.  Was he saying that eternal life and salvation comes from avoiding temptation, dying and being buried in holy ground?  I guess I should go tomorrow and see what I've been missing. 

yours



MissEnchanted -> RE: If you missed church last Sunday...here (1/31/2009 9:33:17 AM)

Heeheehee Yours!

[:D]



SteelofUtah -> RE: If you missed church last Sunday...here (1/31/2009 9:50:47 AM)

The Moral of his original sermon:

The Pastor is a Sadistic Son of a Bitch who was willing to Kill 3 of Gods Creatures to teach a lesson. What Lesson?

The Pastor likes to watch things Die in Jars.

Sick Bastard.

Steel



Steponme73 -> RE: If you missed church last Sunday...here (1/31/2009 10:19:32 AM)

The pastor had the right idea just the wrong approach.  He assumed and that was his first mistake.  funny



GoodFeathers -> RE: If you missed church last Sunday...here (1/31/2009 11:41:30 AM)

I have a question or two:  How many cigarettes did the good padre have to smoke in order to fill a jar with enough smoke to kill the worm?  Moreover, how did he get it to stay in the jar while he grabbed the lid?  Thirdly, how many children left church that morning thinking it was okay to make your prey suffer for the sake of demonstration?! 





Uyraell -> RE: If you missed church last Sunday...here (1/31/2009 5:31:58 PM)

The worm dead in cigarette smoke is a non-sequitor in any case: Worms dont have lungs, oxygen is absorbed directly through the outer dermis into the bloodstream.   Therefore, the worm cannot have died from the cigarette smoke, but rather, lack of available oxygen.   Any oxygen-dependant organism would die also, deprived of sufficient oxygen.

As to the Pastor employing such methods: that is a simple demonstration that to a Church any means of ruling it's congregation is legitimate, which, after all, is truly what any church is about.



MissEnchanted -> RE: If you missed church last Sunday...here (1/31/2009 10:01:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

The Moral of his original sermon:

The Pastor is a Sadistic Son of a Bitch who was willing to Kill 3 of Gods Creatures to teach a lesson. What Lesson?

The Pastor likes to watch things Die in Jars.

Sick Bastard.

Steel

hahahaha!  [:D]

Edited to say: you are all making me giggle or Lol.

Thanks!



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