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How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/22/2009 11:24:19 AM   
ineedthis


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/22/2009
Status: offline 		I am new to the whole world of BDSM and i want to know what and or how i would make a connection with someone. I don't want to do it thru a Pro Dom only because i want to share the experiance with someone that I actually would really be able to interface with. What should i do to take a first step outside of this?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/22/2009 12:20:53 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		How do you meet golf partners or tennis partner or friends? You start talking to people, see if you click together, and if there's compatibility then you proceed.

However your profile makes it look like you don't want a friend, just someone to do you the way you want to be done, and that you aren't interested in doing anything for her in return. That doesn't come off very well. I need some snow shoveled; would you be interested in doing this for someone you don't know, who isn't offering you money, or any barter in exchange for you doing this work? No? Then why would a domme (proper term for a female top) be interested in doing stuff for you?

I suggest you put your needs aside for the moment and start learning. Read the Ask a Mistress forum and see how people like to be talked to before announcing that one of them has to do you. Go to local munches and make friends, male and female. If you are known and liked someone may offer as a friend to introduce you to play. But few women want to get up close and personal with random dangling bits.


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Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to ineedthis)
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RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/22/2009 12:44:02 PM   
ineedthis


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/22/2009
Status: offline 		That makes alot of sense I am going to rethink it


(in reply to ineedthis)
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RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/22/2009 1:21:58 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		go to a rodeo with someone you're highly interested in and throw comments their way during the roping competition about how envious you are of whatever is being roped and hog-tied.

(in reply to ineedthis)
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RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/22/2009 1:31:14 PM   
ineedthis


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/22/2009
Status: offline 		LOL that is one way

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/22/2009 1:38:32 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		the thing is, i'm not kidding about this one; that's how i met most of my kink partners back in the days...

i'd always be out there volunteering to run around and let them practice roping and tying me; never had one turn me down to this day

you know the old saying, "ride me, rope me, rodeo me"

(in reply to ineedthis)
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RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/22/2009 1:42:35 PM   
ineedthis


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/22/2009
Status: offline 		Thats funny and not a suprize its still funnythough lol. i am just venturing into uncharted space for me so i need to find a rodeo in cali.

(in reply to ineedthis)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/22/2009 2:20:48 PM   
MarsBonfire


Posts: 1034
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		Well, #1, you get online and find some kind of forum where you can chat with people in your area, using the search function....

Oh, wait, you already did that....

Well, from there, you can do an online search for BDSM groups in your area via Google... Then just go to a few munches, and maybe a play party or two, and you'll be in the herd of BDSM girls... find out which ones are single, and share your interests... Then just fall in love and live happily ever after.

(in reply to ineedthis)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/22/2009 2:23:44 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		well what kind of BDSM "girl" are you looking for?

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I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to ineedthis)
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RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/22/2009 2:31:54 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		ROFL...

Okay... as you can see, reponses will vary... but it does help to not leave common sense and self at the bdsm door.  We are simply people doing what people do and all social graces or the lack thereof apply.  Why put yourself in a state of lost because you might view us differently?  Stop that.  Simply put... do you know what all those 'normal' family member's and friends you have, do behind closed doors?  Or what the preacher is doing or that evil young person?  Or the cheer leader or lawyer or whoever? 

We are people and when you understand we are no different and are not a new species on the planet... you will do well.  Just be yourself and do what it takes to meet people of the same interest you have in other things.  You want to sail boats... you go where the boats are.  It really isn't rocket science and there is no need to make it such.  Read the message boards...  And one other hint... if you are looking for a dominant woman... you might not want to call them girl's.  Some really get off to that word used by the right person... but few domina's get off to it. 

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to MarsBonfire)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/22/2009 2:46:04 PM   
SunNMoon


Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		Basically treat her like you would any other person. Be respectful, and be honest. Remember you’re talking to a real live person that has other interests. Simply put treat it as your making a new friend.

Also you might want to work on your profile since it kinda comes across as your looking for Barbie Dom to do naughty things to you. What else do you have to offer?


_____________________________

"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/22/2009 5:22:01 PM   
ALAstella


Posts: 253
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline 		The left eye is slightly higher than the right one, the same with her boobs, and she also has a noticeable gap in her teeth.

stella

_____________________________

The Resident Artistes (by GT)

New Year's Day 2009.
When you don't understand the reason why, that's love.

http://www.simply-q.org
http://www.q-fringe.org

(in reply to ineedthis)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/22/2009 6:39:39 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ALAstella

The left eye is slightly higher than the right one, the same with her boobs, and she also has a noticeable gap in her teeth.

stella


oh damn stella, I don't have the gap, am I not a BDSM girl?? amd I just a georgie girl??

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to ALAstella)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/22/2009 6:54:51 PM   
Sanguinarian


Posts: 474
Joined: 8/13/2008
Status: offline 		Niiiiice Stella. Beautiful. : laughs:

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/22/2009 8:34:03 PM   
Coupleofwhats


Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ineedthis

I am new to the whole world of BDSM and i want to know what and or how i would make a connection with someone. I don't want to do it thru a Pro Dom only because i want to share the experiance with someone that I actually would really be able to interface with. What should i do to take a first step outside of this?


You're in a major city: hit the local scene. Go to a party. Drop in on a munch.
Or go to your local e-watering hole and put up a personal saying you're looking for CBT and electrical play.

Don't get stuck on the internet: use it to facilitate immediate real time meetings.

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm6JgZ35w8w

(in reply to ineedthis)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/22/2009 9:15:33 PM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		All the advice given so far is good (it's amazing how often this same question gets asked ... ).

I keep saying it but I'll repeat (briefly) for the OP ...

My best advice for you is to consider yourself one of ten thousand similar guys all looking for the same thing. Consider that the women you approach have been approached by each and every one of those ten thousand similar (well, similar enough) guys. Then, consider that each of those women do latch up with one of those ten thousand guys ... so, it is possible ... and, in fact very likely, that you'll find someone.

You just have to stand out from those ten thousand guys. At least for that women who is attracted to you and to whom you are attracted.

How do you do that should be your real question.

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/22/2009 9:58:56 PM   
LordDarkPleasure


Posts: 91
Joined: 4/26/2005
Status: offline 		hehehe ten thousand :) the real ratio online is actually around 25:1 while in r/l it seems to be around 1:10.  its not THAT bad is it?

.... right?

well I guess I'm a lucky man.

On the other hand, I always had the completely random fantasy of putting cuffs on the ground, and have a net trap prepared for the lady who would grab them... It would be mostly hilarious, but also an awesome way to get myself a sub

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/23/2009 12:44:45 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Not sure if it will get you arrested, but you dress in black leathers, have a coil of rope over one shoulder, whip in one hand, flogger in belt and ball gag chains, shackles and handcuffs in the other and head into a singles bar calling "Puss, puss, puss, puss!"

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to LordDarkPleasure)
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RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/23/2009 7:16:36 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ALAstella

The left eye is slightly higher than the right one, the same with her boobs, and she also has a noticeable gap in her teeth.

stella


Madonna??? 


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to ALAstella)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How Do you look for A BDSM Girl? - 1/23/2009 7:03:52 PM   
BondageBarbieX


Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline 		Go out and meet people..join your local playspace and check out yahoo groups.Also FetLife has groups based on location as well.Good luck!

(in reply to ineedthis)
Profile   Post #: 20
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