|
LadyPact -> RE: Honest Questions About Online D/s and BDSM. (1/22/2009 8:32:55 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP
By that logic, anyone who is married to someone in the military and gets deployed for a year should divorce the moment their partner is sent overseas. For some people the connection of minds is paramount.
The fact that you can't make a LDR work reflects on you, not on anyone else.
To me, they are very much different.
A military relationship almost always begins in person, regardless of where the military service takes them. Spending time together, getting to know one another, holding hands, meeting family and friends. Getting to know most of the facets of that person's life. Smelly farts, toothpaste tube messes and all. Lady Pact, while seperated from her S.O.'s knows the touch of their hands, the feel of their cheeks, their scent. She also has an idea of beginning and ending of the seperation. She has a history with them that goes far beyond their communication while being physically apart. A military relationship, shares a home, the one at home can walk around that home, touching a favourite shirt, sniffing a left bottle of cologne, sit in a favourite chair or sleep with a pillow in a shared bed. Spend time with shared family and friends and talk about past times and future plans together.
An online relationship is to me, much like beginning one with a prisoner doing life without any chance of parole. So little shared, nothing but that distant two dimensional, limited connection. No potential to fill it up. Just a long lonely line of nights spent wishing. All contact limited by that barrier. No chance to make it more.
I don't want those limitations. I want the full messy experience. Anything else is less, shallow, empty and completely unfullfilling.......to me. No, I cannot imagine why anyone would want to take that route. Not when I've had the full course meal. Even the messiest ending relationship of my life was something I could grab ahold of and sink my teeth into. It was a full buffet. It had all the senses involved fully. There is no way I will ever go back to limiting myself to only one or two and lie to myself that it is enough. Because regardless of the potential of the internet and phones, the written word, they are not enough to fullfill me fully. Life is far to short for me to cheat myself out of the full buffet.
First, I want to thank both of you for your comments. This is the crux of the matter that I pointed out with My own post. There is more than one type of online relationship and how anyone is going to answer the question is going to depend on what kind it really is. There's everything from never met face to face and most likely never will, to those of us who are separated by circumstance.
Let's not forget that there isn't just the two ends of the spectrum. There are a lot of things in-between. There are some who are primarily on line, but have met. Some who see each other maybe once a month and others who may see each other a few times a year. Where's the line?
What about those who do have an end date, as LaT mentions? Does it qualify if it's less than a year? What about more than a year? What if it's based on circumstances, rather than time specific?
Tonight, My sub is sleeping under My roof. In times to come, there will be a long period where he won't. All of the things you said, LaT, about the times he doesn't are very true. Just because I'm willing to wait for that end date, doesn't mean it doesn't suck at times that all I might have is the written word or a phone call. There are times I sleep in the t-shirt. I definitely hold on to the pillow. It's not a bowl of cherries all of the time.
It's still worth it.
|
|
|
|
