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Technology changing how you interact - 1/11/2009 11:21:41 AM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		I was already thinking about this topic and it was briefly brought up on another thread in relation to the younger generation, but i feel it is more global than that.  I would like to know how you feel changing technology has effected the way you interact with others in the lifestyle.

For me i know that having the internet is the only way i can have frequent and even daily contact with others who share my interests. I am in a rural area, close enough to travel occasionally to a city for some fun, but far enough away to not be able to fit it in as often as i would like. Has this forum increased the number of wankers, lookers and posers i've personally been exposed to? Well sure, but it's also one the only ways for me personally to get knowledge and support from people i have grown to respect.

As for interacting with my pet, the options continue to grow and even though we are primarily LD it is possible to easily be a part of each others everyday lives. Of course there is email, but more important there is messenger. Which can be sitting in the background as we are both at work, allowing continual interaction that was generally not available even to live in couples. Beyond that we are able to use text messages no matter where we are or who we are with. I can keep tabs on what he is doing, where he is, what he eats and direct his actions in real time even when sitting around with family watching football :)  I can even require pictures. This level of control has become more and more of a turn on for me, and even my mate has taken to enjoying knowing this is going on in everyday situations.

Because we can talk about everything from football, to life, to feelings it has led to a deeper emotional committment for us both.

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RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/11/2009 11:27:07 AM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline 		people are always close now with the new technologies.
that can be a pain in the ass..aswell as nice.

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)
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RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/11/2009 2:19:35 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		I think I am a but luckier, technology changed My whole life--when I was hired 8 years ago for the job I do today---the internet was My sole source of work and communication with globally disparate teams--and I took to it in no time--so I have always been one to know you can have a relationship all online or via phone ane never ever meet them.
 
As for BDSM, it has made the world smaller and for Me who hates the local scene, lets Me chat with others of the same ilk--around the world. It has opened avenues for closeness not once known. Because of the work I do, I cannot have webcam but the chatting capabilities are very helpful, ( and I can IM My UM in another room when I need something--so how lazy is that!).
 
On the flip side though, it has become the dark alleys of the night where far too many people can just hit and run, present themselves as something, hurt, take advantage of and poof--so it should cause one to be more discriminating.
 
 

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"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

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RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/11/2009 2:22:52 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I think technology has a lot of splaining to do. being dumped over text and having huge rows on MSN and all that, sometimes not always it replaces physical relationships. Im not being on a downer here but I tend to function better in a faceless way than in real life and in turn it just makes it harder to be sociable, i dunno how much i can blame that on the net and not myself though.

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I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

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RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/11/2009 2:53:12 PM   
Maxwell67


Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		I am a tool user to an extreme degree.  I am always on the look out for ways to use new technologies and also to try to anticipate what changes will come from them.  The internet is still in its infancy, and I do not think anyone is really prepared for the changes that are coming, but it is easily the most important development in the history of humanity since the invention of the printing press.  This will change everything.  It has become impossible to control the flood of ideas, the exchange of art and information; everything is influencing everything else and at a pace that is impossible to comprehend. 

The result is that our field of perception has widened to a degree which we are not, in fact, biologically capable of handling, and we are blinded by the flood of information coming at us, no longer able to focus on any one thing long enough to understand it our attention spans are getting shorter and shorter as we struggle to keep up.  Eventually we will adapt, but right now the global society is still in a state of shock. 

Some folk, like myself, who recognize the problem are working to get a handle on it, to keep glancing at the inevitable changes coming down the road, and adapting our course so that we are not washed away by it.  I have come to call this 'surfing reality.'

I am no longer goal/results oriented.  I look at the process and view the product only as a temporary place marker.  I have chosen three fields of concentration:  theater, virtual reality, and the M/s 'life style' and I am fascinated by the interplay those three things create within me and everything I come into contact with.  I study group dynamics, games theory and systems theory in my spare time because they are applicable to all three interests and what I am learning in studying them has given me the keys to understanding and controlling the flow of my world around me.  I no longer consider myself truly separate from anyone or anything else.  I live in interesting times, and I no longer view that as a curse.

< Message edited by Maxwell67 -- 1/11/2009 2:55:29 PM >

_____________________________


Use your head can't you use your head? You're on Earth! There's no cure for that! - Samuel Beckett (Endgame)

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RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/11/2009 2:55:44 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		technology makes it easier to make contact with those of similar interest.
However, I need to mention with both Mistresses it was chance and a gamble. Using the present of the medium for the purpose of a correspondence has made people more choosy with others, expectations are set much higher, less reluctance to train and there requires little effort any more.
The community has changed a lot since the days of Safe Sane and Consensual.
It is good that technology makes it easier to update oneself, increased individual knowledge but at what cost.
Used to be when you found someone, you believed more in how you felt when you were near them. You would melt when they whispered in your ear or shiver at their touch.
In these days, its not about service, its more about pleasure and material pursuits.
I really do not think the community has changed for the better, because it has lost its soul to technology.


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Goddess bless and keep you and yours safe

Ricah-Azzh

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)
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RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/11/2009 4:23:48 PM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae
Used to be when you found someone, you believed more in how you felt when you were near them. You would melt when they whispered in your ear or shiver at their touch.
In these days, its not about service, its more about pleasure and material pursuits.
I really do not think the community has changed for the better, because it has lost its soul to technology.


I have to say i disagree on a personal level. My pet still has that visceral reaction when i am near to him. It's just that now he can also have that based on our constant contact even when we are away from each other.  I also do not see how "the commmunity" has lost it's soul to technology. That is a pretty large accusation when truely in many ways technology has opened the community to a much broader group than ever before. I really treasure getting to connect with people from different palces and cultures both in my own country and across the world.

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RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/11/2009 4:59:04 PM   
Maxwell67


Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		*FR*
One side note...
I do a great deal of work in virtual environments and I see a whole lot of heartbreak there.  You would be amazed by just how attached people can get even when they have never actually seen each others real faces, nor heard their voices.. It is nevertheless a very common phenomenon.

What I try to explain to people there BEFORE they get involved with anyone (not after.. there is no telling them after) is that in the vast majority of cases, they have such a tiny amount of actual interaction with these people that they cannot possibly be in love with that person.  They are projecting traits that they want onto the object of their desire...  This is very easy to do with the state of technology today. 

In many cases no lies were ever told between them.  Simply not enough truth was exchanged and lacking information their minds simply supplied what was missing, filling in the holes with fantasy and then believing it to be real. In theater we call this "suspension of disbelief" but in truth is is far more.. it is an investment of imagination into this mutually created world and it is a very powerful thing indeed.  So powerful that when the real truth comes out, that the great love of their life is not at all who they thought they were, the feelings of betrayal and heartbreak can be completely devastating.

I take a great deal of time explaining and then repeating this to those whom I have mentored in that virtual space.  Sometimes it still doesn't work. 

I have two slaves in this online world.  We have traded a great deal of information,  pictures, spoken on the phone, and now, after almost a year, I can say they know me and I know them well enough to carry on what we are doing and it works. I do not 'cyber' with mine in Second Life and we do not 'cam' either.  I do train them in sexual ways, but that is for them, not me (as a theater pro, I am well enough versed in sensory relocation and sense memory techniques to train them, and in the construcion of 'scenes' that I can make things seem very 'real' - that is I can get them to invest a great deal of themselves in order to make the experience powerful).  Were we to meet in the real world, I believe things between us would not change significantly.  Why do we not then just move ahead?  We are all simply far too tied into our local communities.  But our schedules mesh well enough that even thousands of miles away from each other we can still spend significant time together and have a strong, healthy relationship, and one that has as much chance of lasting for years to come as any other "real" relationship.


_____________________________


Use your head can't you use your head? You're on Earth! There's no cure for that! - Samuel Beckett (Endgame)

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)
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RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/11/2009 6:30:46 PM   
herpreciouspet


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/25/2008
Status: offline 		i love how technology has brought Mistress and i closer. It is wonderful to have the correspondanse with her, that i would not have normally had. i believe that it has allowed her and i to become a greater part of each other's daily life.

< Message edited by herpreciouspet -- 1/11/2009 6:39:23 PM >

(in reply to Maxwell67)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/11/2009 6:59:02 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Sure, the internet is a once in a generation innovation. It changed our personal interactions as it also made the libraries and thoughts of the world available.

It did change my life. It is interesting that it encouraged liberal arts education, I think. Everyone wanted to learn how to type, think and write intelligently for their online forays. Amazing huh?

< Message edited by ExSteelAgain -- 1/11/2009 7:02:09 PM >

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RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/11/2009 7:21:39 PM   
Maxwell67


Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

Sure, the internet is a once in a generation innovation. It changed our personal interactions as it also made the libraries and thoughts of the world available.

It did change my life. It is interesting that it encouraged liberal arts education, I think. Everyone wanted to learn how to type, think and write intelligently for their online forays. Amazing huh?

Don't get me wrong, I love the net and what it has done for us all, but I just can't quite agree with that last statement.  Nope.  Can't do it.  I wish that was the case.  Still, it is a great thing.


_____________________________


Use your head can't you use your head? You're on Earth! There's no cure for that! - Samuel Beckett (Endgame)

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
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RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/11/2009 7:32:57 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		I worked for an international company in the late 80's.  A woman who was one of tech support people in Philadephia worked closely with one of our London folks, formed a relationship from talking on the phone daily and it was all the talk of the office when she made plans to go visit him on vacation.  Everyone thought she was nuts - meeting someone she'd never seen face to face, actually, having such feelings for him.  I forget what ever came of that, but it was my introduction to the idea that people could feel such a connection from long distance. 

Look at the world as it is today - amazing how far we've come with technology.  And yet, it still all comes down to the basic human relations, I think.  Connection.  Whether it's online, on phone, in person.  I think it's what most of us want.  I know I need it. 

God, I sound like an old fart - I swear, I'm only 43. 


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** Owned by E **

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RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/11/2009 7:58:48 PM   
Evility


Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		It certainly has had an impact on my interactions. I met mine over the internet. We live about 200 miles apart and use the internet along with the telephone to maintain contact when we are apart. In fact, the last time I met someone who I was involved with that was not a product of an online acquaintance was in 1995.

As far as this site is concerned I just really enjoy online forums and visit several of different topicality regularly. I have been enjoying forums since my pre-internet days on local bulletin board systems (BBS). I don't hang here for the company of like minded individuals since so few of the people I have corresponded with here are nothing like me and think nothing like I do about bdsm.

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/11/2009 8:08:45 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I interact with people solely online. I don't go to munches or socials or bdsm parties or any other offline social venue, you'd have to go to , to socialize with people, if the internet wasn't available.

It also makes finding potentials much easier because you can look at dozens and dozens of profiles all in the comfort of your home. You couldn't do that if you couldn't be reading what they wrote about themself somehow. This ability allows me to decide in a much shorter time who I'd like to interact with and whom I wouldn't like to.


It also allows me pen pals, with no expenses of pens and papers and envelopes and stamps.
quote:

ORIGINAL: hereyesruponyou

I was already thinking about this topic and it was briefly brought up on another thread in relation to the younger generation, but i feel it is more global than that.  I would like to know how you feel changing technology has effected the way you interact with others in the lifestyle.

For me i know that having the internet is the only way i can have frequent and even daily contact with others who share my interests. I am in a rural area, close enough to travel occasionally to a city for some fun, but far enough away to not be able to fit it in as often as i would like. Has this forum increased the number of wankers, lookers and posers i've personally been exposed to? Well sure, but it's also one the only ways for me personally to get knowledge and support from people i have grown to respect.

As for interacting with my pet, the options continue to grow and even though we are primarily LD it is possible to easily be a part of each others everyday lives. Of course there is email, but more important there is messenger. Which can be sitting in the background as we are both at work, allowing continual interaction that was generally not available even to live in couples. Beyond that we are able to use text messages no matter where we are or who we are with. I can keep tabs on what he is doing, where he is, what he eats and direct his actions in real time even when sitting around with family watching football :)  I can even require pictures. This level of control has become more and more of a turn on for me, and even my mate has taken to enjoying knowing this is going on in everyday situations.

Because we can talk about everything from football, to life, to feelings it has led to a deeper emotional committment for us both.

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/11/2009 9:22:01 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		Msn came to my town in the mid 90's..I can still remember the thrill of meeting people online..then later finding the BDSM sites and chat rooms.  What it meant to me was that I got to know people without the time spent in smell bars and dives at a point in my life that I had just about stopped bothering with it..It opened up a whole section of my life that I'd about given up on in this backwoods area..I mean I'm 51 now, and I still remember the first shoe box size cell phones and taking classes on computers that used dos and basic and other operating systems to run on the screens( not just inside systems)..and I can still talk to friends I made during that time overseas and all over America....I can only wonder what the future brings as gifts to my kids to fall in love with as I did..lol

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RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/12/2009 12:17:23 AM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		Seems to me that technology changes everything and nothing at the very same time.

It changes nothing because everything we do today with technology was done without technology before; yet it changes everything because it's done from the safety of our offices and bedrooms instead of driving down to the seedy part of town to pick up the local swinger's or bdsm publication to send a SASE and polaroid ("what's that" says the 20-something to the old lecher).

For example, if I wanted to meet a swinging couple twenty-five years ago, I'd drive down to the seedy part of town, stop at an adult book store, pick up a stapled swinger's periodical, and read and respond to the ads, sending the obligatory SASE from a PO box that didn't need ID in those days and a polaroid of me standing next to my boat or corvette or motorcycle man toy. Then I'd wait. And wait. And wait. After no response, I'd then send a dozen of these to a dozen swingers' ads. Likewise, I'd wait. And wait. And wait. OK, a few dozen more, buying stamps by the roll, and learning no longer to use equal-sized envelopes inside of each other, and using a photocopy of the polariod to save money. OK, I'd get a hit, or three.

Just like today only now I can do all that with a JPEG photo and a gmail address. Lots cheaper. So men can send hundreds instead of scores of these just to get one or two good responses. (No wonder women are inundated with our missives. Sheesh. It's sooooo lopsided.)

In the end, it's the same, only more efficient at sending, but, still, the results are still 20:1 for finding anyone so technology doesn't change the results at all.
As always, YMMV.

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/12/2009 12:43:46 AM   
immoral


Posts: 99
Joined: 6/9/2006
Status: offline
the gentleman i live with today and for the last 4 annabit*  years i got to know over the internet, i think i was guilty of looking at him and not seeing him,but with  that removed i found i was able to see the person, he's not bashed with the ugly stickon the  outside but  - hes beautiful- on the inside
the contact and  the IM battle to be understandable/understood and understanding made a huge difference.also...im always full of questions...and id drive everyone mental if i didnt have the internet to consult for answers...the down side i think  has to be the lack of politeness some people have on here..i realise its a human imperative to mate and that the net is their moistened w**k rag..but lots dispense with  even the veneer of civility.....and its very much to their detriment.........................oh and! .and mobile phones!-arent they  brilliant all that power in your hand,in a tiny package...the thing of dreams 30 years ago

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RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/12/2009 1:25:38 AM   
steviemichael


Posts: 177
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline 		Technology is the new Opium of the People!There are a lot of fears that circulate about our being "sucked into virtual reality" and taken away from our face to face relationships,my fav  cartoon showing two dogs at a computer, one with its paw on the keyboard. "On the Internet," it explains, "nobody knows you’re a dog.".

Technology  it is so powerful  it created  two types  groups  of people  the have and the have nots !
In order to interact Technology demands control of your self it demands your commitment to the latest hardware /software and shapes your interaction.




_____________________________

switch/submissive male walking in the path of and learning of my true desires and enjoying what i am discovering

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RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/12/2009 6:39:57 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		If you want to interacft with me, with some exceptions as defined by me alone, you will interact ultimately face to face at times, and locations I chose. No exceptions. 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Technology changing how you interact - 1/12/2009 9:05:58 AM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Technology is the new Opium of the People!


it is not new...it is what we use to survive..it is part of us.
ofcourse technology is nowadays electronics and related stuff....but once it was making fire and the wheel.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 20
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