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Decadentpleasure -> RE: Cruise Advice,experience's (1/14/2009 4:58:04 AM)
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This past summer i took the kids on a our first cruise to celebrate my daughter's 21st birthday. Since it was my first time cruising, i too went in search of helpful information. The following is a hilarious list of helpful tips. Enjoy your cruise and happy early bday!
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Yes, you can wear jeans (or shorts) in the dining room, but preferably not on formal nights.
Yes, you can smuggle alcohol on board.
No, it is not necessary to pre-tip the cabin attendant.
The aft balcony will fit lounge chairs. Regular balconies will not.
Yes, aft cabins are great. Yes it's a long walk. No, you can't hear noise from the club/Windjammer below/above. (ok maybe a little)
It is not necessarily better or worse for movement. It's all about the view.
Yes, hump cabins are great. No, you don't hear noise from the elevators. Yes, some balconies are (slightly) bigger.
If you reserve pool lounge chairs, people will be upset with you and might move your stuff.
Yes, the ship may rock. The ocean is not under RCI's control. Some people get seasick…most don't.
Fly in a day early just in case. Don't book a return flight too soon after disembarkation.
Yes, you can board earlier than the "scheduled" time.
Sometimes you can get a bathrobe if you ask.
The weather in the Caribbean in winter is good (despite forecasts of rain). That's why we go there.
Choose the early seating if you have children. Stay home if they are under 2.
Read the Ports of Call board if you have excursion questions.
Yes, you can book excursions outside RCI. Most people do, for less money.
Yes, most ships have smoking areas. No, it won't bother you unless you sit there.
No, you cannot remove balcony dividers.
No, you can't skip the muster.
Yes, all the rooms have ice buckets, hair dryers, soap, coat hangers and safes.
Yes, Royal Caribbean customer service is a nightmare.
Bring duct tape, bungee cords, Ziploc bags, magnets, less clothes, more money.
Buy the drink of the day to save money.
There is a (slim) chance of being upgraded at the pier.
Yes, Chops and Portofino's are worth the extra $20.
Buy lanyards and disposable cameras at Walmart/Target/Kmart, not onboard or in port.
Yes, people disappear from cruise ships, some on purpose I suspect.
You can't take a cruise and not have a good time.
NOT ALL CABINS have a safe.
And I think that you forgot that Johnny Rocket's charges $3.95 per head, but C&A members get a coupon for one free visit, and the soda card doesn't work in there.
OH, you forgot the long, boring, detailed description of soda cards/stickers/cups AND the fact that it's stealing to share.
THERE ARE NO IRONS ON ANY RCCL SHIP
Bring a pen and some Post-It notes (for leaving notes)
RCI does not owe you a refund of your cruise fare if a port is missed for reasons beyond their control....
The cabins have shampoo.
Your baby/toddler/elderly parent cannot go in the pool even with swimmy diapers.
The Solariums are not for children except during certain hours during inclement weather.
RCI does not have a topless/nude sunbathing deck.
You can have "nookie" on your balcony, but sometimes other people can see you.
Sodas/bottled water/alcoholic beverages are not included in the cruise fare.
RCI does not have self-serve laundry or ironing facilities.
You can smuggle an iron onboard in you really want one.
The hair driers do not have much power.
Children under 3, even if potty-trained, are not allowed in Adventure Ocean.
RCI coffee does not taste like Starbuck's (or anything else drinkable!).
RCI does not serve lobster during formal night on 3 or 4 night cruises.
Quest is fun, but it's a secret why.
You can order more than one entree, dessert, soup, etc. during dinner.
You can get a price reduction on your cruise if the price drops and isn't a happy hour special.
Book your own air if you are concerned about stops, flying day of departure, certain airlines, etc.
The ship does not wait for you if you are late boarding unless you are on an RC excursion.
You can get cash from the casino using your Sea Pass.
The internet is not free onboard.
Passports are the recommended form of ID.
If you are a woman using your married name, sometimes they ask for your marriage certificate with your birth certificate, sometimes they don't. No one knows why. See above.
Sometimes the itineraries change without notice. Again, no one knows why.
Travel during hurricane season at your own risk. RC cannot control forces of nature (yet).
Buy insurance.
Not all ships have safes, and on some ships you have to have a card that has a magnetic strip. Bring an expired gift card that can be left in the room.
No candles
Yes, you can hear noise from your neighbors.
no, four adults cannot fit comfortably in an inside cabin
no, elevators do not get you from aft to forward
yes, RCI excursion have first tender priority
yes, carlos n charlies has reopened in Cozumel
cozumel, costa maya and grand cayman ports of call are often cancelled due to rough tendering conditions
tip your servers even if you eat in the Windjammer every day
keep your butt in your poolside lounger or let someone else use it
if you think no one's watching...there's probably a camera
yes, take your mints out of the bed before going to sleep
yes, check your account daily (especially if you have teens or a gambling spouse!)
no, sea lice, bed bugs, jellyfish, botfly, mosquitoes & sand fleas are probably not going to affect you
yes, tip your friendly bartender a little extra
no, the production shows are not Broadway quality
no, the food is not worthy of any Michelin stars, but you're not gonna starve
no, you're not going to find an authentic Picasso for $10 at the art auction
people can be rude...ignore them and focus on your own fun
if you sign up for your M&M, go to it!
no, you cannot fish from or barbeque on your balcony
if you get too drunk or spend too much money it is not the cruise line's fault
last but not least, remember the golden rule.
Only a Wonka-vator (Willie Wonka and The Chocolate Factory) can get you between fore & aft or between port & starboard. I don't think this cruise line has installed them yet on their ships
No jr. suites do not get perks....just two cruise credits
No you cannot bring friends or relatives into the concierge lounge if they haven't booked a suite.
The concierge may or may not email or call you prior to the cruise to set up spa appointments etc - and no one knows why some get a call and some don't.
The pina coladas they "serve" in the windjammer on sail-a-way day are not free.
You can request a small table for your family or party....but there is no guarantee.
No the elevators DO NOT go from bow to stern (front and back) of the ship
Yes there is dry cleaning services
Yes there are ATM's BUT a very high sur-charge applies
Think twice about blowing into that Whistle on your Life Preserver
Yes they do connect beds to make a queen size bed
No you will not FALL through the cracks in between the 2 beds
Yes you can fall overboard (voluntarily or if you p...off someone maybe pushed)
Yes if you are Scottish or want to be it's ok to wear Kilts to the dining room (going commando is your choice)
Yes there is a Doctor and a Nurse on board
Yes you can order room service (Full Menu)
Depending where the ship is and who your carrier is, you might be able to use your cell phone.
You can use your laptop in your cabin, but it costs extra.
No you can't "Drive" the ship
Yes the ship has Auto-Pilot
Those funny things that help keep the boat stable, well they are called Stabilizers
Yes there are lots of Photographers on the Ship
Left Side of Ship is called PORT
Right Side of Ship is called STARBOARD
Rear of Ship is called AFT
Front of Ship is called BOW
(this list is ever growing.)
And last but not least HAVE FUN!!!
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