quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

Safe, Sane, Consensual.

Presumably means not doing anything stupid, or harmful, or illegal.

In actuality, generally means "too lazy to think about the consequences of doing something."

quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTressSafe: implies that things are all good and warm and cozy.

Sane: implies that we are doing things that anyone would not find crazy.

Consensual: Implies that everything is agreed upon by both parties in advance.

I don't agree with safe and sane. Those terms are relative and hold meanings based on perception. There are plenty of things I do that others would not consider to be either of the two.

There are things I do that I don't consider safe. There is risk involved, I weigh the risks against the benefits, and proceed fully aware.

I do play with consent. That is, if you are playing with me, you are consenting and I will do what I want.

Therefore, I prefer RACK.

1. I don't believe this is actually possible. There is always an element of danger even in the gentlest of vanilla sexual relationships. Nothing is 100% safe. Everything carries risks of some varying degree. Sometimes those risks are very trivial (Top breaking nail and ruining manicure) to extreme (bottom inadvisably turning head at exactly the second the Top misses with a single tail and strikes them at 750mph in the eye blinding them).
   
2. Currently .... I make sure that all the risks in my control are limited to the best of my ability. I make sure that the person I am playing with makes a point to limit those things in their control to the best of their ability. I make sure that I am aware of possible outcomes and make a decision to continue based on those outcomes. I have very little interest in being safe, the very fact of being unsafe is *usually* what I am seeking: whether that be physically unsafe (breath play) psychologically unsafe (fear play) or emotionally unsafe (humiliation). To create safety removes the very thing I am seeking.

1. Sanity is totally subjective. To certain members population even the gentlest BDSM relationship involving furry handcuffs twice a year and a bit of chocolate body paint ... is totally depraved.  You would have trouble persuading most people that the desire to tie your loved one up and hitting them with things was a "sane" past time. Even within the community .. many look at certain forms of edge play and brand it "insane". Then again I recently played with someone who found it 2nuts" that anyone would want to limit the number of orgasms a bottom had. Sanity .. well its a matter of perspective really.
   
2. Like safe ... Sanity is difficult to create. I make sure I am in a stable emotional position and not under duress (either by threat or enticement) when I make a decision to engage in a particular activity. I do my best to make a similar judgement about my partner - keeping in mind I can only ever be Risk Aware and that judgement cannot be guaranteed. I would not play with anyone who I knew to have mental health issues that altered their self control. Similarly to safety ... I seek things that are a bit twisted and fucked up .. they please me.

1. This is possible ... and its very important. I have experienced non-consensuality, and consensuality - I prefer the latter.
   
2. Consensuality with me (playing with me, being with me) is not having my permission and asking first. I do not require my partners to get a yes out of me before hand (though obviously for somethings I would prefer it) but I do 100% require that if at any point my tacit consent to all activities is withdrawn ... they act in accordance with that decision immediately and without debate. With play partners I do not negotiate limits before hand, I discuss preference and experience as much to understand theirs as to communicate mine. The only thing I stipulate is that when I say it's over, it's over. Obviously when in a devoted, serious long term D/s relationship, I am not going to call a hault easily .. I will strive to continue in devotion to my Owner. However in a play relationship and my word is final.