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Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 11:53:53 AM   
Jacen


Posts: 30
Joined: 9/24/2004
Status: offline 		I need lots of rules for an online sub girl. She likes little things she has to do to remind her that she is, in fact, totally controlled. She also like being 'hypnotized' with triggers and subtly implanted messages and such. I already have a dress-code rule for each day of the week, but could use lots more suggestions. Thanks! 
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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 12:54:35 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I started as an online sub.  My Dom would have me write a daily email journal for him.  Besides a dress code there were also daily tasks that were assigned and I was to photograph myself while doing them.  He would tell me that he was only a thought away, that a piece of him resided in my mind and that I was never alone.  Communication is extremely important, and finding out both her feelings and her reactions will be very important for you.  

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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 12:54:35 PM   
bratnwranglers


Posts: 113
Joined: 5/24/2007
Status: offline 		i think rules have to be custom for the submissive, something that might work for one, would be a disaster for another. with my Master and i, while it isn't an online situation, but it is long distance right now, because of where He is stationed, W/we only have three basic rules, for now anyways... maybe she can wear something that reminds her she is "owned or controlled" i wear a ring daily to remind me who i belong too, doesn't have to be anything lavish could be something simple as a piece of string tied around her ankle or wrist.

(in reply to Jacen)
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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 1:59:13 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		There is no such thing as an online submissive.  The trust and respect has not been built yet.  As it cannot be without you being there.  Unless of course you had a relationship before you went online.

It is too easy to say you are doing something and not doing it at all.  Unless of course you are going to show up each and everyday to be sure she has done what you have told her to.

My suggestion, go real life.

(in reply to Jacen)
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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 2:17:49 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		I don't have an on-line relationship. I am not one to be micromanaged either. But people do as they wish, and not for me to judge the type of relationship you have.

Sir in the beginning had me do certain projects that needed to be completed in the areas of his choice, not me, to control. This was my work hours, specific house tasks, how to respond when he email me and a list of bills coming in and bills paid.  Since he is an astrologer, he wanted me to learn the basics, so there was homework.

oceanwynds

(in reply to sub4hire)
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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 2:24:21 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		you need lots of rules - is she that hard to manage?  it would be pointless asking us to give you rules since there many different types of relationships represented on this site. so the rules that work within another's dynamic may or not work for you.

Daddy and i have a relationship based on friendship, love, trust and respect without any established rules

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(in reply to Jacen)
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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 2:34:09 PM   
bound4more


Posts: 128
Joined: 10/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

There is no such thing as an online submissive.  The trust and respect has not been built yet.  As it cannot be without you being there.  Unless of course you had a relationship before you went online.

It is too easy to say you are doing something and not doing it at all.  Unless of course you are going to show up each and everyday to be sure she has done what you have told her to.

My suggestion, go real life.



Knodding heartily. I really have to chuckle at the online "relationships" - sorry to those of you who believe it's real. To me - it never has been and never will be. And this opinion came after I got into a real life 24/7 relationship. But, they are fun, so have fun, but don't make the mistake of thinking there's anything real going on.

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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 2:40:17 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bound4more

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

There is no such thing as an online submissive.  The trust and respect has not been built yet.  As it cannot be without you being there.  Unless of course you had a relationship before you went online.

It is too easy to say you are doing something and not doing it at all.  Unless of course you are going to show up each and everyday to be sure she has done what you have told her to.

My suggestion, go real life.



Knodding heartily. I really have to chuckle at the online "relationships" - sorry to those of you who believe it's real. To me - it never has been and never will be. And this opinion came after I got into a real life 24/7 relationship. But, they are fun, so have fun, but don't make the mistake of thinking there's anything real going on.


Personally, I dont understand them, nor would want one, but that is my thing. What i dont understand from the OP's question, why is this online submissive dictating the type of relationship? That was the gist I got from it, but maybe wrong. 

(in reply to bound4more)
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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 2:50:03 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		I'm not really into online relationships, but realize that this doesn't give me the right to make assumptions about the OP's life or to make snide comments at something which may be important for them just because it doesn't appeal to me.

Have you thought about making a contract? Sometimes making a contract is helpful as a sort of brainstorming exercise which helps you think about all areas of the relationship and which may bring up many more useful ideas and suggestions.

Real or not, passing judgment on a relationship which you're not part of is a good way of expressing your stupidity.

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(in reply to Jacen)
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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 3:09:13 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I hope this doesnt get into a thing about the validity of online relationships, they never end well.

To the OP you just have to be inventive, dress code is a good idea, as is regular timed emails or web cam dates that kind of thing. There are instructions you can easily give from a distance, it totally depends on the dynamics and type of relationship you have though.

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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 3:38:37 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		I personally don't care about the type of relationship. Not everything is for everyone, which is a good thing. I know things are done differently as well per Dom, but was a little cofused to she wants. I been trying to learn it is what he wants, so it threw me. Sir pretty much told me what i can expect, and i said okay. I am sure that isn't the only way, just learning other peoples' ways so am asking ?

oceanwynds

(in reply to colouredin)
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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 3:46:50 PM   
BlackSakura


Posts: 131
Joined: 7/23/2006
Status: offline 		Sorry, but when BDSM is done online it just becomes a joke and a mockery. (Your opinion may vary.)

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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 3:51:31 PM   
SassySarijane


Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline 		My advice without getting into the whole online vs offline thing is that each relationship is individual and it is about what works for those in the relationship. We can't tell you what rules to use or what will work best for your relationship. You need to openly talk with her and each express your wants and needs and desires for a relationship and rules and protocols will come from that. Another piece of advice for what it's worth is to start slow on the rules, one or two and slowly build from there as those become ingrained. Don't be afraid to discard rules and protocols that don't work for you in practice either. Have fun and find your bliss.

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(in reply to oceanwynds)
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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 3:57:43 PM   
SingleRarity


Posts: 320
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline 		Our rules exist to enforce and enhance our dynamic.  Making up arbitrary tasks just seems stupid whether online or in real life.  Why not spend some time getting to know one another and let the rules develop naturally.  Then again I base my advice on you wanting a relationship with a person, and not just a body who will play slave so take it or leave it.

Daddy's Ballerina, e

(in reply to Jacen)
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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 5:50:18 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Rules and ideas?
 
Of course...
 
Leave her alone...

(in reply to Jacen)
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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 6:16:13 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		See, here's the thing ... you're the Dom - you make the rules.  You need to figure out what you want, then make any rules accordingly.  How do you like her to know you're in control?  When do you wish her to think of you?  Do you even understand hypnosis and triggers, and if not, do you plan on learning more so you can incorporate something that is of interest to you both?   Be creative.  Be intelligent. 

I won't argue the validity of someone's relationship, but I will argue the validity of a dominant who can only come up with one rule, if he wants more.  You have someone who wants to submit to you - learn, read, explore and figure out what you want to do with her.  Talk with her, let your imagination run wild and discover what works for both of you.   But it's not as simple as saying 'gimme rules'.

Search is your friend - search 'online' and you should come up with plenty of threads discussing online relationships.  One thing I've read about those who are seriously involved in them - they're work, and require a lot of communication and openness and commitment from both sides of the slash. 

(in reply to Jacen)
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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 6:48:12 PM   
kdmfl


Posts: 118
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline 		I have to agree that there is no real online submissive relationship.  A Dom Avatar just doesn't really work in the real world


(in reply to mc1234)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 7:11:49 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bound4more
Knodding heartily. I really have to chuckle at the online "relationships" - sorry to those of you who believe it's real. To me - it never has been and never will be. And this opinion came after I got into a real life 24/7 relationship. But, they are fun, so have fun, but don't make the mistake of thinking there's anything real going on.


Online relationships are real.  Just the main problem is (in my opinion anyway) if you are there in person telling me to do something.  I am going to do it even if I don't feel like I am today.  Too easy to slack off and not be truthful about it to the dominant. 
Fact is I can create an entire persona online even with photo's who are not me.  Said dominant can have a relationship with me..even talk to me on the phone never knowing the truth and always being played the fool.

To me the lifestyle is about more than making a mockery out of my dominant.
We all have friends online.  Nobody can say our friendships are not real.  It's just when you expect something out of somebody the lines blurry and that is when I say there is no online relationships.


(in reply to bound4more)
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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/18/2008 7:20:28 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		If online can't be real then there is no such thing as a mental aspect to bdsm and it is merely physical. 

Now most who do online suck but that isn't because of the medium, it is because of those exercising it. 


(in reply to sub4hire)
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RE: Some good rules for an online submissive? - 12/20/2008 2:23:25 AM   
steviemichael


Posts: 177
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

If online can't be real then there is no such thing as a mental aspect to bdsm and it is merely physical. 

Now most who do online suck but that isn't because of the medium, it is because of those exercising it. 

so are you suggesting that BDSM is not about merely physical sex.
btw THINKING ABOUT SEX
Several times every day: Men 54%, Women 19%
is not sex on a pc .




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