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RE: Posting on experience - 12/15/2008 10:35:27 AM

SimplyMichael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

When considering responding to a thread, do you post an answer only if you have actual experience on the topic?

The threads I see where I can predict the entire story arc and the next three threads started by someone as their life unfolds I tend to stay way from.

I tend to post to the ones where I think someone is actually ready to learn or listen. While I do lecture, I try and personalize my posts with my actual experiences, good or bad, rather than just pontificate from on high.

Or ones like KoM started about how what you "see" has changed.

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RE: Posting on experience - 12/15/2008 10:42:45 AM

Evility

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I do not limit my postings only to those topics that I have personal experience with. I skip threads that do not interest me. If I have personal experience in the topic I will often but not always mention that. I don't normally qualify things if I have no personal experience in the topic or offer a disclaimer unless it happens to speak to me for some reason to do so.

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RE: Posting on experience - 12/15/2008 10:53:11 AM

Mercnbeth

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~ Fast Reply ~

People represent that they speak from experience however the truth is, even the most 'experienced' are speaking, or documenting perspective.

When someone is asking; "what does it feel like to be hit with a cane?"; any answer is the perspective of what it feels like to the responding individual. The example is clearer, and is the ultimate reason, that labeling topics go on for pages; every answer regarding the differentiation of slave/sub is perspective where experience isn't required. Most experience responses are tainted by influences rarely included in the authoritarian response. Positive or negative, how the experience was perceived is what you are getting; not a pragmatic, right or wrong.

Experience is NEVER absolute and therefore its value is a matter of shared perspective.

Our tag line suggests that you have to "go through the experience". It never intimates that you'll come of the exact experiences the same way.

The best attitude to have is to be open to experiencing - period; and keep on doing so. It beats the alternative of being convinced not to do something based upon the perspective of someone whose experience is relative but whose perspective contains 'baggage' and agenda.

Associating experience with knowledge is a very dangerous assumption.

Speaking of experience, perspective and most of all ASSuming. beth experienced Michael's paddle on Saturday night at the Lair and it is dangerous to put that thing in my hands. Pictures I took afterward of her ass provide a wonderful perspective of the experience!

I have one question for Michael. I know we've been hanging out together, but did you take measurements of beth's ass to make the curves of the paddle fit her ass curves so well, or did you do it from memory?

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RE: Posting on experience - 12/15/2008 11:20:42 AM

Arpig

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Fast reply
I don't usually post outside of the Off-Topic section, so most of what I do post (not much anymore) is opinion, or sometimes just a snarky remark when I am feeling bitchy.

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RE: Posting on experience - 12/15/2008 11:34:29 AM

LaTigresse

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I ignore more threads than I read and I definately read more than I post to. If I post, there can be a multitude of reasons.

Sometimes it's because I can contribute factually.

Sometimes it is because I have a different perspective, another way to look at the subject.

Sometimes it is to ask a question or questions.

Less and less I am trying to have snark attacks but they surface occasionally.

I would never intentionally create a post that would lead someone to believe I knew something from experience when in fact I had never had the experience. Not only would that potentially create future false expectations, but it may very well inhibit my own learning and growth.

Some things that are BDSM related that I've not necessarily done in a BDSM context, I've still done and could relate in that context. Otherwise, I would base any comments I would make upon what others have told me, AND, say it was not my experience but this is what a friend/aquaintance experienced then related to me.

Most of the threads on here are quite simply relationship and communication oriented. That is something I can comment on regardless of my limited BDSM experience.

If I should stumble upon a CBT thread, I can say that slamming a penis in a dresser drawer with the body it is attached to throwing their weight against the drawer to shut it......makes a young man scream in agony. Even though I never actually done, nor have I any interest in doing, CBT. But, if someone asks how to plait a whip, I am probably not going to have much to contribute.

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RE: Posting on experience - 12/15/2008 12:20:15 PM

bound4more

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quote:

When considering responding to a thread, do you post an answer only if you have actual experience on the topic? If you have no experience, do you skip the thread? If you have an opinion on the matter, but no actual experience, do you state in your reply that it is your opinion only and not based on something you have actually done or had as a part of your life? Do you state your opinion without the disclaimer that it is not something that you have participated in yourself?

I don't post to topics unrelated to my experience. My feelings is: how the heck would I know what something is like if I haven't experienced it". Sometimes I'll read threads beyond my experience out of curiosity or interest.

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RE: Posting on experience - 12/15/2008 12:45:55 PM

unclebrain1964

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hhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm

It would seem to me that I reply to any post that stikes my interest ....but I only put in my two cents if I have something positive to add.

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RE: Posting on experience - 12/15/2008 2:33:02 PM

colouredin

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See i think I just post when I feel like it, if its my experience i think i normally explain my experience. I do actually try to read threads and actually work out what is being asked though. One of my pet peeves is people who give advice that either hasnt been asked or indeed it has been pointed out in earlier pages is irrelevent. I also get annoyed by 'use the search' or lists of pages. I feel if the person has asked a question normally its relating to their lives, often its something they are worried about, generally in that situation if someone points them to the search button it feels like a brush off in a time when they feel they need help (there are mitigating circumstances though)

I think or at least try to comment only if I feel i cant say something worthwhile, thats why im not a fan of the humour or random section. Im not really here to make friends im here to learn and it is a fantastic place to do that, especially on a run away thread how people refuse to see sense etc. In that instance i still cant leave it alone, i dunno why i get so frustrated when i see someone making a mistake that i have done but them not listen to any advice that could prevent it.

Most things on here are opinion, even if i have experianced something chances are it wont be the same experience that someone else has, i dont think we really need a disclaimer on opinions, i just assume that is all anyone really writes.

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RE: Posting on experience - 12/15/2008 2:38:02 PM

elegantalexis

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Bear answered it for me. I also apply what I have experience IRL to here as well. I am still learning as I go.

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RE: Posting on experience - 12/15/2008 2:59:01 PM

flower2007

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I skip a lot of threads because of my lack of experience, but every so often, I'm able to contribute somethin.

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RE: Posting on experience - 12/16/2008 5:39:46 AM

LadyPact

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Just popping in to say thank you to everyone who took the time to respond. I enjoyed hearing the different points of view on the subject.

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RE: Posting on experience - 12/16/2008 3:50:28 PM

IvyMorgan

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I rarely post. I've read this twice before thinking "hum, okay, I'll bite".

I tend to post a mix of things I have experienced and my opinion. Oftentimes, it's my opinion of what I have experienced that I post.

I'm more likely to read a thread if it's by someone I know.

I don't read threads that are about things I'm not interested in, have weird and unappealing names, very long by the time I get to them, all sorts of reasons.

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RE: Posting on experience - 12/17/2008 2:41:31 AM

lally3

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the thing ive noticed is that, whilst we're all very different and we process things differently the emotional and psychological fall out/response is almost always very similar to our own. so i think its possible to take one persons situation and be able to empathise and give an opinion or advice even if you havent gone through the exact same thing yourself.

with anything to do with bdsm, i tend to stick to what i know and if i have absolutely no experience of whats being discussed i dont comment. the only times that i might is if theres emotional fall out or if theres a parrallel i can compare with.

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