Returning from subspace

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Returning from subspace

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Returning from subspace

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Returning from subspace - 12/12/2008 10:47:14 PM

MakeMeSmile4U

Posts: 710
Joined: 4/27/2008
From: South Florida
Status: offline

I tried to search this and didnt really find what I was looking for... I'm hoping one (or more) of you can help.

A close friend (really, I swear lol) told me about a disturbing event that took place recently. She went into subspace just as she always does with her Master. And then she 'returned' from subspace, just as she always does....

The problem is, she hadnt really returned. He thought she did: She was coherent, speaking normally, acting as if she had come down from subspace, etc and they parted ways.

When she truly returned she had already driven 30 miles from her starting point, remembered nothing and was confused as all hell.

This is a couple who have been together for over 3 years. Needless to say, this really scared both of them silly. Hell, it scared me and I wasnt even there.
I dont have to point out the dangerous implications of this, but it obviously could have turned out badly.

So, to finally get to my questions: Has this ever happened to you? And do you know of any way to ensure something like this doesn't happen again?

_____________________________

"And of course you can't become if you only say what you would have done, so I missed a million miles of fun"~Len

"Do all those things that you do to me, ya know what I mean boy... Do all those things that you do to me, yeah.." ~The Cult

Post #: 1

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/13/2008 8:35:32 AM

StrongSpirit

Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline

I think that she likely did return from subspace but then went BACK into subspace when she started driving. Have you ever started driving a route you've done a lot and suddenly realize you have arrived with no/little memory of the trip? Or started driving to X, but ended up going halfway to work/home on 'autopilot'? Same thing.

Driving is hypnotic. It allows your higher mental functions to wander. But you only go 'autopilot' when starting out on a route that you are familiar with. If you take a new route each time, you won't go into it.

(in reply to MakeMeSmile4U)

Post #: 2

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/13/2008 8:46:33 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

Yes, I have thought I was out of my "sub space trance" before and then once I got up and started doing things I realized how spaced out I still was. With my former owner there were times I would have a 2 hour drive after an intense afternoon together. Following such activity I would nap a bit and then get as many shots of espresso as I could handle, for the drive home, mixed in with a sweet coffee drink. The sugar and caffeine would snap me out of it enough to make it home safely, and then I would take another nap.

Sometimes he had some pretty abrupt (harsh) ways of snapping me out of that frame of mind, too. Wasn't fun, but did the trick.

While just lying around you can believe you are A-Okay to go, but as soon as you become mobile and active - blood flows faster, breathing elevates - you realize you're still in La La Land...for me, anyway.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to MakeMeSmile4U)

Post #: 3

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/13/2008 9:49:06 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

And that's why we stopped playing on the last day of a visit. Simply because of the difficulty of driving, and the bad subdrop once I made it home.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 4

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/13/2008 10:41:07 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Another great example of how sometimes subspace can go "bad" and how it's not always peaches n cream (and another example of how people always forget that post scene is as much a part of playing as DURING the actual play)- not because of the subspace itself but just because things can go bad and altered headspaces are not rational and can be overwhelming at times.

It's not uncommon, as you can read above. But why the desire to not have it happen again? Now that they know what is going on and what's a possibility, they can simply be prepared for it next time.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 5

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/13/2008 10:54:59 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I never found a way to play and then get in the car and still have any energy left when I got home. If she does, good for her. For me, it always required more strength to focus than I had.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 6

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/13/2008 11:19:02 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

It's not unique to sub space. This can happen to those of us on the other side, too. In fact, any time I know that I'm going to play out of town, I always have a back up plan of getting a hotel and staying over. The reason is that there is a possibility that I will be too far in space to make the drive home safely. Believe Me, none of you want Me on the road when My endorphins are still buzzing.

The reason for not wanting it seems rather simple to Me. When the endorphins are still way up there, I am not the safest person behind the wheel of a car. That's just the way it is. I can't tell you how many times My husband and I have had the agreement of him driving to an event and Me driving home deal fall through because I was not fit to drive. Not to mention, should I get pulled over for something, it would be fun explaining to a police officer exactly why My pupils were small, eyes glazed over, but I wasn't into some kind of substance of some kind.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 7

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/13/2008 11:49:25 AM

aravain

Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline

I've never driven after subspace or any equivalence... however I do occasionally have a similar problem that results from anger (just in general).

So far, when I'm angry enough I know I'm going to a)lose chunks of time (which usually fuels the anger) b)start acting strangely (I'm not sure if it's endorphins or whatever, but I do get a 'high' from it not unlike the high I get when I smoke) c) do 'normal' things and not remember because I do them on 'autopilot' (as has been mentioned already in this thread).

The easiest way to make it not happen... is to not be angry.

I would expect it would be a similar answer for your friend :( maybe not a happy one though.

(in reply to MakeMeSmile4U)

Post #: 8

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/13/2008 11:58:30 AM

MisterMonster

Posts: 156
Joined: 12/9/2008
Status: offline

What's subspace?

(in reply to aravain)

Post #: 9

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/13/2008 12:06:42 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

Subspace is that wonderful euphoric feeling subs expeirence during play. For some it is very intense and for desciption purposed can be compared to a alcohol/drug high.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to MisterMonster)

Post #: 10

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/13/2008 12:14:17 PM

MisterMonster

Posts: 156
Joined: 12/9/2008
Status: offline

Do they block out the experience? Or, does it heighten everything?

(in reply to mummyman321)

Post #: 11

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/13/2008 12:25:29 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

The experience for me is very hightened. For the play I do it becomes hard for me to tell pain from pleasure. Its almost like staying in an acheived state of orgasm. All outside items are mentally block out such as how long has it been, is it night or day etc.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to MisterMonster)

Post #: 12

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/13/2008 12:28:08 PM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

For me it's an altered reality and euphoric high. Usually I lose some memory and others are heightened and time seems to pass differently. It all depends on how deep I go.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to mummyman321)

Post #: 13

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/13/2008 12:29:33 PM

MisterMonster

Posts: 156
Joined: 12/9/2008
Status: offline

Ok...if they blocked out the experience I wasn't sure if I would like this 'subspace'...if the Master wants to be a dick, is there anyway to snap a sub/slave out of it?

(in reply to mummyman321)

Post #: 14

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/13/2008 12:45:54 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

I've had this happen to my girls once or twice.

The best bet is to make sure you've got enough time with them afterwards to let them back up into their normal headspace easily. It's very tempting to play right up until the end, because it feels more poignant to both people. The 'leave 'em wanting more' playbook, it's from.

There are times when that can work, but for the most part, don't torture a girl for at least a few hours before she has to drive home. A day, if it's over a longer time span.

It also occurs to me that this particular couple, having been together for a while, might be stretching the sub's mental processes in new ways. As with repeated hypnosis, it might be worth investigating what her new reactions are and how they can be best trained to serve both her and him.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to MisterMonster)

Post #: 15

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/13/2008 2:36:57 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterMonster

Ok...if they blocked out the experience I wasn't sure if I would like this 'subspace'...if the Master wants to be a dick, is there anyway to snap a sub/slave out of it?

Snapping someone out has the strong likelihood of them winding up with sub drop, an extremely unpleasant temporary depression that can last several days.

Better if you just don't let them go there to begin with. He doesn't like it when I space because then I'm not reacting to him. So spacing for me comes at the end when he leaves be bound, with a blanket on, to float until I switch over to sleep. But the easiest way to keep someone from going there is to keep talking to them.

As long as you have to talk, you can't really go into deep space.

But before you start playing with people, you really ought to search out threads on subspace, topspace, subdrop and aftercare. Because if you screw up, it's the bottom who will pay for it and she may well never agree to see you again.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to MisterMonster)

Post #: 16

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/13/2008 3:49:22 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
As long as you have to talk, you can't really go into deep space.

I would disagree with that.

But I agree that the questioner should do a search and learn more about the variables involved in play and the possible consequences.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 17

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/13/2008 3:53:11 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

With that type of person I'd suggest they only play when a sleepover is an option, or a cab.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 18

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/14/2008 2:43:04 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

I can go into subspace relatively easily, but after years of having this happen I know what to do to minimise any negative side-effects.

I love sub-space - the feeling of being a bit drunk and silly and giggly and the pleasure on the Dom's face as we cuddle and chat and come back round.

But I won't play the same day I have to drive. I need a lot of sleep to get through it. I also need contact from the Dom for several days afterwards to ward off too much sub-drop.

I have had Doms try to stop me getting there, but to be honest once I'm past a certain point there's not stopping me!

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 19

RE: Returning from subspace - 12/14/2008 1:23:34 PM

SlaveIndigochild

Posts: 272
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MakeMeSmile4U

I tried to search this and didnt really find what I was looking for... I'm hoping one (or more) of you can help.

A close friend (really, I swear lol) told me about a disturbing event that took place recently. She went into subspace just as she always does with her Master. And then she 'returned' from subspace, just as she always does....

The problem is, she hadnt really returned. He thought she did: She was coherent, speaking normally, acting as if she had come down from subspace, etc and they parted ways.

When she truly returned she had already driven 30 miles from her starting point, remembered nothing and was confused as all hell.

This is a couple who have been together for over 3 years. Needless to say, this really scared both of them silly. Hell, it scared me and I wasnt even there.
I dont have to point out the dangerous implications of this, but it obviously could have turned out badly.

So, to finally get to my questions: Has this ever happened to you? And do you know of any way to ensure something like this doesn't happen again?

This question about has this ever happened to you? It's like when people ask me about the '60's....yes i was really there but just don't remember most of it......

_____________________________

Formerly Prinsexx
_________________________

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=iIUrLpvE3Rk&feature=related

(in reply to MakeMeSmile4U)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Returning from subspace

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.078