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RE: Inconsistent ? - 12/11/2008 9:36:12 PM

came4U

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I don't find what you want inconsistent at all.

If a man is smart and capable he will know how and when to use you in both mutual S/m plus be able to know when you seem 'emotionally' exhausted and in need of the cuddling and aftercare hugs. If he doesn't know fully and outright, the fair thing to do is for him to ask how much you can tolerate at any given time.

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RE: Inconsistent ? - 12/11/2008 9:46:47 PM

DavanKael

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I'd not call what you appear to be describing in terms of wants as inconsistent.
I'd also not think it in your best interests to serve a Dom who didn't also believe your needs important.
Best wishes,
Davan

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RE: Inconsistent ? - 12/12/2008 8:16:33 AM

ElegantWaste

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To me, as a sub, it's imprtant to have after care. Without it how would the Dom I was with know if they had gone to far? Or if they could have pushed harder? Feelings aside, it's more about checking in. Looking after not only the physical sore spots (and checking for injury), but making sure your sub is mentaly ok. Subspace hits us all in our own special way, it's hard to tell wile play is going on if it was too far or too hard (or too light). It's also a way to bond. I know everyone is diffrent but many of us need to build a bond with our Dom to make play it's most effective. Just my two cents.
EW

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RE: Inconsistent ? - 12/12/2008 8:24:47 AM

OttersSwim

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So Missturbation...I am curious if you continued the conversation with the Dom in question, and if you were able to bring any understanding of your position to him?

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RE: Inconsistent ? - 12/12/2008 8:41:03 AM

MsFlutter

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Joined: 11/12/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

...He replied saying he basically thought the kind of sub who wanted one minute to be beaten, bound and roughly treat one minute and then wanted to be cherished, gone down on, given flowers kind of alien to him. He said he would find this kind of sub inconsistent...

He calls it inconsistent - I call it normal. The blend of harsh & loving, a kiss and a lash, the sweet and the evil...each enhances the other and is amplified in the mind. Aftercare is restorative to those that prefer it. I believe he and I would be philosophically-incompatible...

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