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FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/8/2008 11:31:59 PM

MsAnnThrope

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/13/2007
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I have received a lot of questions from subs, and newbies asking about what they should except from a session or if an online or personal experience would be more preferred. Those questions are difficult to answer because all Doms, Domme, Subs, and slaves are different. What not be right for one maybe what the other needs.

The most important questions I can answer, such as

1."When is okay to used the safe word?"
2. "Does Sex Have to be involved in BDSM?"

1.It is ALWAYS okay to use your safe word at anytime. That word is there to protect you. If a session is getting to rough or too intense that one word (or words) will let your Dom / Domme know when to stop. There is no shame in stopping. If you are scared or uncomfortable anytime during your session used your Signal. Even if it is your spouses, lover, or friend. Your Dom / Domme is there to beat you not to kill you =)

2.No. Sex does not have to be involved in your session unless you want it too. Remember this is your session. We all have limits. It may not be something that you are in to at the beginning, but the further you get into this lifestyle it may be something you want. A Sub has to remember that although you are letting someone tie you up, and bound you. You are still in control. You will always be in control.

There are also more important question to be answered, but that is for another time. Okay that’s the end of This FAQ, but if you have any question feel free to write me anytime.

Post #: 1

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/8/2008 11:39:41 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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hi MsAnn... welcome to the forums.

These things have been covered umpteenzillionbillion times on the forums.

If you use the search feature you can find the countless threads.

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Post #: 2

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/8/2008 11:44:10 PM

WyldHrt

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What Greedy said, 'cause she's nicer than I would have been

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Post #: 3

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/8/2008 11:44:35 PM

Surrenderwithin

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I think she was more putting her thoughts out there than asking a question. I am just a little unclear as to why or what the topic kick start was suppose to be. Perhaps, she will clarify for us.

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Post #: 4

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/8/2008 11:50:10 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
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This will be the sort of thread from a newbie poster that will be hard not to jump on, as a viewer.

OP, if...

quote:

What not be right for one maybe what the other needs.

...then why is your thread presented in a way that seems to suggest you consider yourself the de facto place others should go to have their questions answered?

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Post #: 5

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/9/2008 12:20:44 AM

E2Sweet

Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
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She's pretty though... She reminds me of an actress, though I can't think of who... Kate Hudson maybe?

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Post #: 6

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/9/2008 12:58:11 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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Kate Hudson? Nahhhh

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Post #: 7

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/9/2008 1:27:17 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
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From: SW London (UK)
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Is this some sort of a wind up?

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Post #: 8

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/9/2008 1:30:54 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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gotta be totally taking the piss, Stella..... I mean, really.....

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Post #: 9

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/9/2008 3:51:26 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Why do newbies to the forums always assume everyone else here has no more sense than a head of lettuce? Sigh. I find it condescending as hell.

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Post #: 10

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/9/2008 5:38:45 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

I believe that the decision whether or not to have sex during a session should be a consensual one and talked about in advance. There are many new people that assume it needs to be but it is certainly not necessary. A session can be strictly D/s or S/m or some mix and be just as fulfilling to both parties.

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Post #: 11

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/9/2008 6:27:17 AM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAnnThrope

1.It is ALWAYS okay to use your safe word at anytime. That word is there to protect you. If a session is getting to rough or too intense that one word (or words) will let your Dom / Domme know when to stop. There is no shame in stopping. If you are scared or uncomfortable anytime during your session used your Signal. Even if it is your spouses, lover, or friend. Your Dom / Domme is there to beat you not to kill you =)

What about those who choose not to use safewords but instead open communication?

A word will not protect a person. Just because someone claims to be a dom or top or what have you doesn't mean they will honor a spoken word to stop play. Never count on a word or think it's a magic protection. It is not. It is the people not the word.

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(in reply to MsAnnThrope)

Post #: 12

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/9/2008 6:33:17 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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1."When is okay to used the safe word?"
When your mistress tells you it's ok

2. "Does Sex Have to be involved in BDSM?"
Absolutely, without a doubt, it depends on how hot they are.

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Post #: 13

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/9/2008 6:33:18 AM

CalifChick

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Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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Maybe we should acquaint her with the journal feature on the other side... since that's where her audience is.

Cali

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Post #: 14

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/9/2008 6:35:18 AM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Maybe we should acquaint her with the journal feature on the other side... since that's where her audience is.

Cali

does that mean your not going to answer the questions?

Well if no one else is going to play, then I am going to the park. If any of the wonderful women want to join me, I promise to use my safe word and yes, sex might be included.

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Post #: 15

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/9/2008 6:39:55 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Did she have a question? One of the simplest things to remember, in so many areas (work, home, play), is "know your audience."

At work, can you sell me copy machine toner if I don't have a copier? No.
At home, can I expect the kids to sit quietly if they are tired and cranky and dinner is an hour late? No.
At play, can I expect that I will get a warm reception if I start preaching to people that have more than a clue as to what they're doing? No.

Know your audience.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 16

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/9/2008 6:41:42 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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Before I ever p;osted here I lurked for a couple of months reading everything so I had an idea what I was getting into.. Sorta.. LOL

But hey folks, give the OP a fair go. So what if she sounds like another one who wants to teach us all how to suck eggs? At least her post was short and to the point and neither preached garbage nor was plagerized like another poster of recent times who tried to demonstrate how dumb we all are eh?.

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Post #: 17

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/9/2008 7:00:40 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

Uh oh....I've been doing it all wrong.

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Post #: 18

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/9/2008 7:06:36 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

And once again, someone who assumes that everybody is into s & m.
Lonely bondage freak sitting quietly on the sidelines, sob.

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Post #: 19

RE: FAQ: When to use a Signal & Other question - 12/9/2008 7:08:30 AM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

*Hugs DesFIP* There, there now. You are not alone, I promise. Ever tried suspension bondage?

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Post #: 20

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