I dont get it

I dont get it (Full Version)

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OneClick -> I dont get it (12/6/2008 5:23:36 AM)
Im new to this whole D/s world, but after reading some other profiles this morning, here is something I do not get. I must have come across at least a dozen subs who said they will not, refuse, and wont even consider working when in a relationship. With the way the economy is in the toilet, why wouldnt someone want to have some sort of employment so if things dont work out they can go on their own? I am not talking with those who have a disability that prevents them from working, just folks wanting total dependence on someone. One profile even came right out and said I do not work, I can move at a moments notice if necessary and they see no reason to work especially if they are to provide a high level of submission. Ok great, so you might find that one person who has the means and willing to provide you with food, clothing, shelter but I bet the majority of people on here are, and pardon the comment ahead of time - average joes, who go to work, have house, car, and other bills each month. Some may be struggling as it is to make it. I just dont get it. Ok, Im off my soapbox now. Thanks for listening.

VampiresLair -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 5:32:37 AM)
Thats what a LOT of people are looking for. Granted, it might seem a little odd now in this economy, sure. But there are a huge number of Dominants who love the idea of having someone completely dependent on them to the point of having nothing of their own. If someone has the means to do so, whats wrong with them having a stay at home slave? Its like a family having a housewife if the husband can manage it. Not as common now, but still not wrong. Obviousy if you cant afford that then these subs who are seeking that arent for you, but there is someone out there looking for just that who will be thrilled to find and keep them. Just sayin DV

slaveluci -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 5:33:46 AM)
Far be it from me to denounce how others live their lives if it doesn't affect me. However, with Master and I, we both work and contribute and that's how we both want it. I could not serve a man who wouldn't work and support His family/household and I couldn't serve a man who wouldn't allow/expect me to do the same. It's just how I'm made and how He is as well. It's nice if one is independently wealthy and one or both partners don't "have to" work. But, as you say, I'd say that doesn't apply to lots of us. I could stay home all day naked and chained waiting for Him to return so I can "serve" Him but, by His definition and mine, I better serve Him by taking my body and brain out into the world, making a difference, and bringing home a fat paycheck to add to the pot[;)]. Whatever works for each of us.....................luci

WarKirby -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 5:35:45 AM)
I suspect there are many who wouldn't mind having their subs entirely dependant, but there's the matter of practicality. Some of us simply can't afford to entirely sustain another person. So working is a necessity, rather than a preference.

CatdeMedici -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 5:40:15 AM)
I think it goes to whatever is agreed upon in the relationship--I have a friend--female slave who does not bring in money at this time, she has her own savings account should something happen, Master is the sole means of regular income, but I assure you she works and the work she does in the home from her devotion, saves them a lot of money in the long run and fills her with great joy. I do not want My submissive to work full time ( as some money coming in is important for them to have spending money) however, I need the support for things at home to allow Me to focus on work and save us money (housekeepers, errands, etc). <edited to add, if a submissive comes with bills, they have to work, I will not be paying someone else's obligations> To each his/her own.

sexisubi -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 5:47:39 AM)
Well, i have to be honest one of my dreams is to become an ivy league housewife. For the reason that i would be someone who is educated and chooses to stay home.. a stay at home mother puts in more then a 40 hour work week.(There is more of a list here but i will skip it cause its off topic tee hee ) However, were just talking about submission here. Personally if i was just submitting to someone i would be working unless instructed otherwise (and i would have strong debates on it expecially if it's not a marrage situation cause i need to have an out if things so sour.) However this is just how i feel. i'm sure the reason some of these subs/slaves say this because it can be a lot of work to submit to someone, if you live together you find yourself doing pretty much everything in doors unless you have a garden... and if youre bad you could find yourself doing an extra load. So the amount of work verys and it can truly stress someone out! With that said i can see where they are coming from... it's just not my personal choice.

oceanwynds -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 5:49:55 AM)
Hi OneClick I guess just depends on what both want for their relationship dynamic. On the other hand, you will also find submissives with the opposite view. You will find a variety of people here at C.M., which is a good thing. blessings oceanwynds

MarsBonfire -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 6:04:49 AM)
There are probably an equal, if not greater number of dominants on here who are looking to "financially dominate" their subs. i.e. suck their bank accounts dry and give them little to nothing back. i.e. theft. People can be "looking for" whatever they dream of... good luck finding it. If they can hook up with a well healed Dominant, and not have to work for a few years until said Dominant gets tired of them leeching off of them, and kicks them out of their lives, then more power to the subs. Same with the Doms seeking to control their sub's checking accounts. If there are subs out there that fucking stupid, then they get what they deserve. So long as someone isn't damaging someone else, or killing them, in the name of getting an orgasam, then just let them do as they like.

SadysticJester -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 6:46:24 AM)
i'm sure it would be everyones dream to either have a stable of slaves,or be a kept slave....even if for a fleeting moment....but as so many have said its practicality that puts us where we are,and we thrive to do the best we can.everyone builds there houses that best suit them.

simpleplan2 -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 6:51:17 AM)
There's so many things I don't get [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m22.gif[/image]

DesFIP -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 10:12:44 AM)
Let's say you live in your place and he lives across town. You both commute an hour and a half total daily to and from work. Then the sub comes home and cooks and cleans her home. The last thing she wants to do is go over to his house after work, clean and prepare meals, then go home late and still have to clean her house, do her laundry, do her own grocery shopping and meal prep. These sort of responses come from subs who have been in such situation before, where they work all day, and then do all the housework for two separate households. If you want a sub to come home every night and do four hours of work while you sit and watch tv, dream on. She needs down time too. Either share in all the work or hire a housekeeper. Do not expect someone to be happy to have sex with you after she's dropping from exhaustion because she gets up at six and runs straight through till midnight. And in a situation like that she has no time to work out, read a book, visit a friend, go to the movies. Or even sit down and talk to you. You want someone to do all your housework, you need to support her. Otherwise she will resent you.

CNJDom -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 10:19:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OneClick Im new to this whole D/s world, but after reading some other profiles this morning, here is something I do not get. I must have come across at least a dozen subs who said they will not, refuse, and wont even consider working when in a relationship. With the way the economy is in the toilet, why wouldnt someone want to have some sort of employment so if things dont work out they can go on their own? I am not talking with those who have a disability that prevents them from working, just folks wanting total dependence on someone. One profile even came right out and said I do not work, I can move at a moments notice if necessary and they see no reason to work especially if they are to provide a high level of submission. Ok great, so you might find that one person who has the means and willing to provide you with food, clothing, shelter but I bet the majority of people on here are, and pardon the comment ahead of time - average joes, who go to work, have house, car, and other bills each month. Some may be struggling as it is to make it. I just dont get it. Ok, Im off my soapbox now. Thanks for listening. I feel that some are using this as a form of escaping responisibility. For others, it's a form of fantasy for the 50's household and a total TPE mindset that is just great in the stories that are out there with BDSM themes that are so common. And you're right that the average Joe (maybe Joe Plumber) just can afford that sort of dependency. For those that feel that they're going to become the object of the house that is free from choice, and responsibility outside of the sexual gratification of their Master/Mistress, that's fine if that can be found... more power to you. Think about this shoe on the other foot... what if submissives and slaves had to not only keep the house in order, but also work to bring in moneys to sustain the quality of life and support the household that the Master / Mistress should be treated to as tribute to be under the rule of said Master/ Mistress. How would that concept sit with these people? What a slave-driver that Dominant would be considered as? An indicator of how reality was historically and how it is now. So these days, it is unpopular for a Master to be treated like a King. For a Mistress....but that's a different story. I personally believe in equality of the sexes, so beaware of what you ask for, but our views are skewed and biased in a few directions. To keep the peace though, the diversity of BDSM allows for all forms of what is acceptable for at least two people to be in sync with. There is an argument posed by some realatively new to the lifestyle where new Dominants state the obvious: "There she was, all tied up and it took me so long to get it right and then I could start to spank her. But by the time it was all over with, I just had enough energy to untie her and was too tired to do much else. If I got to fuck her, it wasn't so good because I found that I was doing ALL the work!" So should Dominants be working their tails off to bring home the bacon so he can show his power over the poor slave chained to the bed, naked (eating bon bons?), until "HIM" comes home with the key to reap the benefits of having his slave there to take care of him maybe? All different strokes for different folks still applies. I personally don't believe in this sort of practice, and feel that subs can take on a job and bring something to the table as well.

utopicus -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 10:51:18 AM)
This could probably work fine for 24/7 slaves and their dominants. Total dependence has the potential of inducing a state of ownership, wherein own personality is written off; as such, a slave is not a person any more, but an object, an asset. It wouldn't work for me, to be sure.

Aszhrae -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 1:25:33 PM)
Actually, OneClick, when current couple were in a car accident, girl took care of them, girl worked her ass off, so while master and mistress recovered, girl continued to work. Paying off their bills and keeping their house going. Girl was even loaned out, and though the temporary master was endearing and even sympathetic to when girl cut the tip of her left thumb off. Girl looks at it, misses it, but realizes that within such dedication, girl managed to work hard enough to help master and mistress travel abroad to be with their daughter and grandchildren. Girl would work her ass off for any domme if it was told to her to do so. If the domme wanted girl's weekly pay that is fine, girl would do so gladly. The nice things that domme is able to purchase, makes the domme happy, makes girl happy. Girl does benefit from this and girl would go completely nuts if a mistress did not utilize all of girl's skills.

aravain -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 2:18:02 PM)
Fast Reply: Uhuh. I will never choose to not work, even if it's part-time at the local miccie D's. I like working and with the fact that there's so few things that I just get pleasure from doing now a'days, I won't give it up. Likewise, I don't even entertain the idea of dating someone who doesn't have some sort of a job. I got an offer from someone in real life recently and turned it down mainly because he doesn't have a job (there were some other reasons too, but no need to get into them). I don't care if he's a student as well, working is as important (if not more) to me.

ShiftedJewel -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 2:34:40 PM)
That's so odd to me... maybe I'm looking in the wrong places. I have yet to see a profile that says they will not work outside the house. In fact, when I mention that I'm looking for someone that doesn't want to work outside of the house it's damn near a hard limit! *Jewel*

Aszhrae -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 2:36:17 PM)
Of course aravain, working bestows upon someone the sense of having a purpose beyond just being a dominants sub/slave. It really is about contributing to your dominants well being and as a side effect, the well being of the sub/slave. It would drive girl crazy if my hands were forever bound and not able to work with my hands as girl is sure would be the same for most sub/slaves.

Kalista07 -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 2:38:26 PM)
Okay, i'm not trying to be a bitch here...but...perhaps it's not yours to "get". i mean seriously.... Why do people feel the need to request an explanation regarding someone else's preferences? Seriously, it's pretty simple. If you don't agree with them, move on...Why try to figure them out? Kali

starshineowned -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 2:42:23 PM)
Greetings.. The more that is taken away and removed..the scarier the journey gets, and requires a level of trust that I'm not sure I could ever put into words. My focus is to remain on Master and his home, and for "Us" this is not achievable with outside influences..so they are removed when that is possible to do so. starshine

kiyari -> RE: I dont get it (12/6/2008 2:42:44 PM)
OneClick: I am generally harsh on Vanilla OPs opening a thread as their very first CC act. However, yours seems a Sincere query. 1. Some seek to jettison the 'real world' minituae, in favor of...? 2. Some seek a 'rescue' 3. Some [sadly, all to many] are 'players' More than that, I [being outside of D/s] have no clue. Times being "Interesting", perhaps some modification of otherwise 'reasonable' models ought be re-examined. Edited to Add: What value the SERVICE rendered in thy home/to thee?

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