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RE: Closet - 11/26/2008 6:12:26 PM

NazjamRa

Posts: 37
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I have a very simple and curious question for all...With homosexuality no longer being taboo and before all of you jump my ass for that think for a moment if your old enough to remember that being a homosexual at one time meant sneaking around, so I am glad that they are able to be open more open about it. My question is this how much longer do those that live the lifestyle which ever one you choose to live cause it's so large, how much longer do we stay in the closet about who we are and what we do?

Post #: 1

RE: Closet - 11/26/2008 6:16:18 PM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
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I tell you what, you out yourself to the whole world. Then come back and tell us how it went.

In the mean time, I don't feel the need to discuss my sexuality with anyone other than MasterK. My elderly parents and my grown kids don't need to know that I enjoy getting beat on as foreplay. I sure wouldn't want to know the details of their sex lives.

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(in reply to NazjamRa)

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RE: Closet - 11/26/2008 6:22:49 PM

E2Sweet

Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NazjamRa

...With homosexuality no longer being taboo...

I live in the midwest. Around these parts, males being anything except straight-manly-male is still very much taboo for the most part.

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(in reply to NazjamRa)

Post #: 3

RE: Closet - 11/26/2008 6:25:39 PM

cuddlemesoft1

Posts: 17
Joined: 7/21/2008
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That's a hard one. I agree with whiteslave about noone needs to know my business when it comes to sexual behavior but if you live this lifestyle 24/7 then it is such a huge part of your daily existence. I could imagine that if one is close to thier parents or friends or what have you then keeping that much of yourself hidden must be difficult. I've yet to cross that bridge because I haven't been in a 24/7 situation but at this point I have told some of my friends but I still wish I could tell my mother. I know that she would prefer not to know though.

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)

Post #: 4

RE: Closet - 11/26/2008 6:26:14 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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I've never really been -in- the closet... in fact, even my bedroom doesn't have a closet...That being said, I don't think everyone has to know everything there is to know about me. I like keeping a little mystery. I don't -hide-... but heck, why overshare where it won't be appreciated.

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Post #: 5

RE: Closet - 11/26/2008 6:31:19 PM

aravain

Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
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I still haven't understood the desperate need to 'come out' that others describe.

Granted, I was 'forced' out, but I didn't care too much.

It's no one's business, really. If they know, or I bring it up, it's casually, not giving them a revelation.

Why do you feel you *have* to talk about it with someone who's NOT a potential partner, has always been my question.

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Post #: 6

RE: Closet - 11/26/2008 6:32:21 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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People will stay in the closet, so to speak as long as they like and there's nothing wrong with staying in the closet, and it's fully their right and choice to do so.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NazjamRa
My question is this how much longer do those that live the lifestyle which ever one you choose to live cause it's so large, how much longer do we stay in the closet about who we are and what we do?

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Post #: 7

RE: Closet - 11/26/2008 6:39:10 PM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
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I chose to share my lifestyle choices with my grown daughter and with my sister and her husband. They are my closest family members and I didn't want to hide who I was from them. I sometimes forget to take off my collar when I go out in public but I don't let it upset or embarrass me. I don't walk around with 'slave' tattooed on my forehead but I feel no shame for my role.

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RE: Closet - 11/26/2008 6:49:18 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Just because it's better doesn't mean it's not taboo. I'm hopeful that we're two generations away from kink being at the level of social acceptance is now.

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Post #: 9

RE: Closet - 11/26/2008 7:03:30 PM

ftmyersartist

Posts: 107
Joined: 9/14/2007
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It's really hard to hide my interests when I paint and write about them. I was never a very good secret agent type. . .:::sigh::::

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 10

RE: Closet - 11/26/2008 7:10:52 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

I'm out...about being kinky, bi and a vamp. Not too many closets left.

But, on average, I think we're a good 10 years behind the gay-out. Poly rights are at least another 10 behind that, I think.

Master Fire

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(in reply to NazjamRa)

Post #: 11

RE: Closet - 11/26/2008 7:13:43 PM

DavanKael

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Joined: 10/6/2007
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I don't do well with boxes, closets included.
I have deferred to previous relational partners/friends who have kids or for various other reasons but it is not my preference to be closeted; I live in light, not shame.
A favorite saying of mine on this point is: "I have no problem in the world being a dirty little girl; I hate being a dirty little secret".
Davan

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(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 12

RE: Closet - 11/26/2008 7:58:46 PM

leakylee

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Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline

while i love my closet.. : D.. i am pretty much out of it. you won't find me running around Mickeyville in collar and lead. to me that just reeks of forcing my preferences onto others, but family, friends, just about everyone i know is aware of my lifestyle. minus those 70 years+. i just dont see the need to rattle thier cages.

smooches
lee

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Post #: 13

RE: Closet - 11/26/2008 8:46:35 PM

trealeon

Posts: 180
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline

I'm a pretty private person so I can't see myself shouting on the rooftops about my sexual preferences. Of course there are some who know but I prefer to keep that number small. I'm not sure if that's really being in the closet or just being private. However I know there are some things that I would never tell someone about because it's just so far to the extreme of the "social norm" that I don't want to deal with the headache of stigma... so in that regard that stuff is neatly tucked in the back of my closet... to stay. I really don't have a desire to unearth it either. I guess that's just me.

(in reply to leakylee)

Post #: 14

RE: Closet - 11/26/2008 11:58:03 PM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

I'm out...about being kinky, bi and a vamp. Not too many closets left.

But, on average, I think we're a good 10 years behind the gay-out. Poly rights are at least another 10 behind that, I think.

Master Fire

id say more like 20-20...we dont lose any rights by being kinky....we lose access to all sorts of bene's by loving who we love...

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Post #: 15

RE: Closet - 11/27/2008 4:27:52 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

I don't do well with boxes, closets included.
I have deferred to previous relational partners/friends who have kids or for various other reasons but it is not my preference to be closeted; I live in light, not shame.
A favorite saying of mine on this point is: "I have no problem in the world being a dirty little girl; I hate being a dirty little secret".
Davan

I love that.... may I use it?

And we're in the midwest, small town USA and all that... and if we were any further out of the closet we'd be outside. Our families all know, our friends know... our neighbors know and they include one minister and one Mormon lady...

Jewel

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(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 16

RE: Closet - 11/27/2008 4:53:23 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NazjamRa

how much longer do we stay in the closet about who we are and what we do?

Closet? I was supposed to stay in a closet? Damn, i missed that page in the handbook!

Honestly, i have never been in the closet, not about being trysexual (a phrase my sister once used to describe me, i'd try anything once, lol), or bi or poly or a slave.

" if you live this lifestyle 24/7 then it is such a huge part of your daily existence"

It would be extremely difficult to hide who we are or how we live for the above quoted reason.

Like Jewel commented, we are out, and not only are we accepted but we are well loved and respected. The neighborhood Xmas party is at our house, the neighbors without any or much family were invited and some will be eating their turkey dinner here.

The teenager across the streets mom had to work until ten last night, so she came over here, her pumpkin and pie pans in a bag, for help.

The minister neighbor lady's congregation needed a new Xmas tree for their hall, we gave them a nine footer, she brought my cat a gift bag full of greenies cat treats his favorite.

I think if you are good people most folks will learn to accept who/what you are, eventually.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

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Post #: 17

RE: Closet - 11/27/2008 4:57:42 AM

Bratzilla

Posts: 24
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline

This is such an interesting question. I've heard two dom friends refer to bdsm as the next sexual strain a la homosexuality to be pushed out of the closet, and both were against it. Let's keep sex shameful and secretive, seemed to be the consensus, makes it more fun that way.

Though I tend to agree that keeping sex dirty will give it more spark - after all, isn't a large part of bdsm about pushing your limits and playing with transgression? - I like to be open, I'm driven to share my thoughts and ideas, so I'm conflicted. I agree that not all my friends and family need to know the details of my sex life, but since I'm compelled to write about it, I'm not sure how to make it all jive.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 18

RE: Closet - 11/27/2008 5:15:08 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bratzilla

I'm driven to share my thoughts and ideas, so I'm conflicted. I agree that not all my friends and family need to know the details of my sex life, but since I'm compelled to write about it, I'm not sure how to make it all jive.

It is possible, i know because it is how we live, for those around you to be aware of your nature or lifestyle without knowing the "gory" details.

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Post #: 19

RE: Closet - 11/27/2008 5:30:40 AM

gumshoe

Posts: 68
Joined: 10/13/2008
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An individual's own perferences and behaviours are their own private affair. Unless that individual is acting irresponsibility or their behaviour is getting out of control I fail to see why others should need to know and care about it.

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Where there is no imagination there is no horror, Arthur Conan-Doyle.

(in reply to NazjamRa)

Post #: 20

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