RE: The Black Sheep's Guide to Surviving Holiday Family Gatherings.....

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RE: The Black Sheep's Guide to Surviving Holiday Family... - 11/26/2008 12:49:14 PM

lusciouslips19

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How about you say, "You are all a bunch of fruit loops! I just happen to be Queen of the Cereal!"

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 11/26/2008 12:50:02 PM >

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RE: The Black Sheep's Guide to Surviving Holiday Family... - 11/26/2008 12:55:53 PM

Gleegal67

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ohhhh...I'm going to remember that!!! You're awesome!

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RE: The Black Sheep's Guide to Surviving Holiday Family... - 11/26/2008 12:56:16 PM

tornaway

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   I agree with La Tigresse - a thousand miles can work wonders !   However , in the spirit of the season , I try to concentrate less on my Mom's ongoing self absorbed trivia , and my sister and family's over-the-top religious stance , and just love and appreciate them best I can .

     No matter how bad your family is/was , they were instrumental in getting
us to adulthood , (or we may have done it in spite of them ! ).

    In the meantime , making a mental , or actual list of all the things you're grateful for , can be an uplifting exercise - especially with these present days of hardship for so many .

     And if ya don't have family nearby , or one you want to be with - see if you can gather together your favorite folks and critters and make one !

< Message edited by tornaway -- 11/26/2008 12:57:25 PM >

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RE: The Black Sheep's Guide to Surviving Holiday Family... - 11/26/2008 12:59:36 PM

DrkJourney

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hmmmm, think I might have to borrow your mantra there Glee....except instead of the desert I'll have to say won't take mom to the lake....lol

although, she is going on vacation to Vegas in January....lol

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RE: The Black Sheep's Guide to Surviving Holiday Family... - 11/26/2008 1:21:39 PM

spinninsweetness

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I'm really un-looking forward to going home for Christmas. I only see the family twice a year, sometimes siblings visit me here but I only see parents twice a year. It does get judgy, for example my dad doesnt believe in lesbians. Seriously, he thinks its a mental illness and refuses to listen when I say that I have good friends, a lesbian couple with a son. He thinks the child should be taken off them... God forbid I ever come out to him. Mum is far more open minded.

Thankfully, or not, I only have close family to deal with as we dont really do get-togethers or anything.

I get though by knowing they wont be around forever, that I will miss them if they go first, that it makes them happy to see me. And by having my little secret smile when mum makes her jokes about me making my money 'beating men who like it'. She doesnt know the half of it.....

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RE: The Black Sheep's Guide to Surviving Holiday Family... - 11/26/2008 1:22:07 PM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

It's hard to treat your own family's opinion of you with contempt and scorn.

Nope, thats not hard to me. During my teenager time I adapted to the view that I am how I am, either you like it or not. I am born to live my life how I choose to and not how you want to/think I should do...

quote:

These are people you love......

actually...no. I loved my granny and my great great granny, yes, but despite them there wasnt much attachment for me in my family as my dad decided to cut off his contacts to his mum and siblings when I was a child (and that didnt change when I visited this so called grandmother when I was 18 and neither when my dad got back to his senses and tried to make connections again 18 years after breaking them up) and my mum wasn't much better. I am better off far away from them and don't want to have them much in my life.Only without them I am finally free

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 11/26/2008 1:24:52 PM >

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RE: The Black Sheep's Guide to Surviving Holiday Family... - 11/26/2008 5:41:02 PM

cjan

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This topic reminds me of one of my favorite holiday movies. "Home for the Holidays" was directed by Jodie Foster and stars Holly Hunter, Robert Downey Jr., Anne Bancroft, Charles Durning, Steve Guttenberg and Geraldine Chaplin in a delightfully wacky role. I recommend it to every "Black Sheep", it can't fail to cheer you up.

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RE: The Black Sheep's Guide to Surviving Holiday Family... - 11/26/2008 6:32:38 PM

QandA

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My mom typically has her in-laws over for Thanksgiving and my step-..... er... her husband prefers to just keep things to that side of the family. Ever since I was in high school Mom has done a "Tis the Season" dinner on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Before I moved out, my mother, brother and I would get out the Christmas dishes and decorate the house after dinner.

This year my Mom canceled the dinner. The reason she gave is that we're going to be spending a lot of time together over the two weeks surrounding Christmas and New Year's. (We're leaving her husband behind and going to Disney with my brother, son, nephew and the extended family.) The unspoken reason was that since my son and my nephew are going to be with the respective ex's this weekend it would end up being just Mom and me for dinner. Her husband would likely spend the whole time in his workshop in the basement (literally the whole time, not even sitting to eat) and my brother (who's not speaking to me at the moment) just wouldn't show. My brother's civil to me when we're at an extended family gathering, but chooses to avoid contact whenever possible.

I have a very superficial relationship with my family. We've adopted a "don't ask, don't tell" policy and that seems to be working well with us. Mom got rather edgy when she found out I was dating again, but she's calmed down quite a bit after meeting Q, and seeing that we're very vanilla-seeming when the situation calls for it. Even though I'm an exhibitionist and an attention slut I do prefer an appreciative audience. *grin*

Q and I are spending Thanksgiving with his family this year. I'm just getting to know them, but they're very laid back and very nice. Q's out about his kinky side to his family, so that helps. He came out to them well before I met him, so at least I can't be accused of "corrupting" him. It's kind of nice being a part of a family get-together where I don't feel like I have to weigh my words for fear of stirring up a hornet's nest.

lil Aidan

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RE: The Black Sheep's Guide to Surviving Holiday Family... - 11/26/2008 9:21:07 PM

DavanKael

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OP: BeliefNet has some great material. Otoh, I will not subject myself to the presence of those I find offensive.
Why mar my holidays or any day for that matter? I choose with whom I spend my time and if the person is a negative force in my life, I'd just assume skip it. Now, I don't ust summarily write a person off (Unless they've done something particularly egregious) but I won't tolerate uncouth, unkind, or otherwise disrespectful behavior indefinitely.
If you are comfortable with your choice, I celebrate it for you and hope that you are able to take pleasures and happiness amidst those things that are less-so.
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RE: The Black Sheep's Guide to Surviving Holiday Family... - 11/26/2008 9:27:46 PM

mummyman321

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

How about you say, "You are all a bunch of fruit loops! I just happen to be Queen of the Cereal!"

Can I be your Captain Crunch?

< Message edited by mummyman321 -- 11/26/2008 9:28:22 PM >

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RE: The Black Sheep's Guide to Surviving Holiday Family... - 11/26/2008 9:36:43 PM

celticlord2112

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

How about you say, "You are all a bunch of fruit loops! I just happen to be Queen of the Cereal!"

Can I be your Captain Crunch?

You're just after her Lucky Charms!

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RE: The Black Sheep's Guide to Surviving Holiday Family... - 11/26/2008 9:43:15 PM

MadRabbit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bstardsbitch

It's hard to treat your own family's opinion of you with contempt and scorn. These are people you love......it's hard I know from experience.

I love them.

Their opinions aren't included in that package.

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