RE: getting back to M/s

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RE: getting back to M/s - 11/26/2008 5:47:20 AM

mystickoolaid

Posts: 519
Joined: 11/15/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sparkyRBF

[color="#330066" size="4"]I think this is a very important and realistic thread.
The realities of life tend to intrude and people get into a bit of a rut. Master and i have been enjoying this lifestyle for 15 years now and yes, there have been times when things have been down. His children moving in with us, my own child living with us, his kids wrecking our vehicles and eventually moving out, parents becoming ill and being apart for awhile.. all those realities of life tend to get in the way and sometimes it seems like serving or playing becomes just one more thing to do.

We have small things instituted to keep the M/s alive. Like i beg permission to sleep in Master's bed. or when i bring him coffee i kneel as a i serve it. going out to eat Master will demand i hand him my panties ABOVE the table.

Another thing we like to do is go over the Limit list. Revisit what our goals are. Things you filled out before on the limit list will change with time and trust. Also, ask her what you can do to inspire her to want to please you. I don't know if that is training or something inherent in a person to want to please and be pleasing.

Best of luck to you and remember it can't all be silks and spankings. Don't compare yourself to others, just Compare yourself to where you were before.

Sincerely

sparkyRBF

I go out in a skirt, garters, and my boots... the whole shebang. I almost got kicked out of a bar once because my skirt was pretty short (although I do have a large ass and long legs, so that just makes it worse..) Anyhow the doorman thought I had no panties on underneath the skirt... I can't imagine how people at a real sit down restaurant would feel if a bar full of men was offended by what they thought was my lack of underwear... just be careful, I guess is what I am trying to say. ;)

I know. Off topic.

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RE: getting back to M/s - 11/26/2008 5:50:23 AM

mystickoolaid

Posts: 519
Joined: 11/15/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Step away from the video game and towards each other.
I didn't hear a lot about relational strength in your post, just hot sex previously.
This strikes me as a potential issue.
Davan

Me too. It doesnt sound like you guys have much (or make much) time for each other NOW. Dynamics take time, and effort. So do relationships. It really doesn't sound like you have a very solid relationship, and while the D/s and kink are fun... to live it as a lifestyle requires a lot more commitment and time than you two seem to have for each other.... In any case, good luck finding your way and finding happiness thru all this.

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RE: getting back to M/s - 11/26/2008 6:29:48 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
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Its hard to reign it back in when its lost, it involves real work, discussion and taking each others feelings into consideration, hell rather likea relationship

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Post #: 23

RE: getting back to M/s - 11/26/2008 7:07:48 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I am curious, when was the last time a utility or major payment was missed and who's fault was it?

Who are you asking and what does this have to do with the original post?

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RE: getting back to M/s - 11/26/2008 8:05:57 AM

SimplyMichael

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Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: eri

What does that have to do with anything? (is just plain confused)

quote:

(from the OP's profile) In the beginning we had the expectation of being a Master/slave type couple but power quickly shifted and real life circumstances drew the focus of our energy away from maintaining that type of relationship.

I am trying to figure out what caused that shift in power and made a guess as to what the reason was.

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RE: getting back to M/s - 11/26/2008 8:53:14 AM

eri

Posts: 77
Joined: 11/3/2008
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Oh, ok. I get it. :)

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Post #: 26

RE: getting back to M/s - 11/26/2008 2:21:08 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

ORIGINAL: eri

What does that have to do with anything? (is just plain confused)

quote:

(from the OP's profile) In the beginning we had the expectation of being a Master/slave type couple but power quickly shifted and real life circumstances drew the focus of our energy away from maintaining that type of relationship.

I am trying to figure out what caused that shift in power and made a guess as to what the reason was.

I apologize if this will be insulting but my guess is that they didn't take the time in the beginning to set the relationship up as a Ds or Ms dynamic but were playing with that and over time it became less and less. From the opening description the "plan of her being my slave" seems more like it was focused on the "white hot sex" than on the Ds or Ms foundations at all outside the sexual context.

In my experience, long-lasting and solid Ds or Ms dynamics take planning and preparation, one does not fall into them suddenly.

Perhaps I'm just weird this way though.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 11/26/2008 2:22:26 PM >

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: getting back to M/s - 11/26/2008 6:29:02 PM

sparkyRBF

Posts: 157
Joined: 2/23/2007
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[/quote]

thank you mystickoolaid.
We are generally careful and respectful that the general public is non consensual. Master does not make it overly obvious. But thank you, i appreciate the viewpoint.

Sincerely
sparkyRBF

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Post #: 28