Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

spirit of S/s and contract rules


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> spirit of S/s and contract rules Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
spirit of S/s and contract rules - 11/24/2008 5:28:18 AM   
obedient4ltr


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/4/2008
Status: offline
Spirit of a DOMinant.Well… since I have been in search of a  LTR long term relationship as a sub slave  I have found the nominations DOM sub slave switch etc to mean very often very different things to all the different people out there that  applying these titles to themselves!A distinction I make is between professional services where kinky play and remuneration are required as the goal and those persons that seek  ‘relationship where emotional satisfaction is the goal as well as a shared life path!Then the motivations to be either DOM or sub has to be examined….Some are probably socially inept in other  aspects of their lives and seek solace in  acting out lack of responsibility or aggression in  an environment  they feel will accept their weaknesses.However a lack of personal quality and  character will never be compensated for  by hiding it under some role play whether fantasised in the mind or played out in real  actual life. As will all things there is often a priced to be paid…for what is ever totally free in life, for the sub it has to be doing things he or she does not want to when called upon  to. For the TOP or Dominant it is maybe an added responsibility in decision making and managing.Do look at the downsides to this too if you really want to know ‘how it will be’I think I bear little self deception where this is concerned.. Many of my ordinary presently met needs and likes will not be met again, and I am aware of this. BUT have decided to traded them in as it were for the greater goal.The greater goal for me is being in simpatico with a DOMinant  and after a while become as it were a part of her will. Her happiness and pleasure is then just as mine…  were are as ‘one’Most couples want this  in the beginning at least, i in the  suppose vanilla world also!But personal  struggles come in, one  want ones ‘space’ and separateness grows.The old wedding vows  attempted to incorporate this holy union  with terms such as ‘love honour and obey’With all my world good endow (ie you become as part of my worldly goods).An agreement is made at the outset.(and it MUST be an joint agreement and understanding of how it will be and what is expected). Written down in full detail it can then be referred back to as ‘law’ The law can of course be changed as things evolve and develop  possibly monthly or quarterly  refers can be part of the agreement.If agreements cannot be  reached then the LTR has little change of surviving for long However if agreements are made they can be good and binding and be a major force for strength and ongoing possibility.In my view the DOMinant for here part does not need dominance or control over every aspect of his life BUT she may want to control him, manage him, in many otherwise un-thought of areas.. BECAUSE she ENJOYS to! and for my part, having  a mistress or master derive ‘please and enjoyment would mean everything to me and re-enforce my devotion.What are your views?     

< Message edited by obedient4ltr -- 11/24/2008 5:34:50 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: spirit of S/s and contract rules - 11/24/2008 5:50:54 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
Do you know Masterdx by any chance?  You should meet.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to obedient4ltr)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: spirit of S/s and contract rules - 11/24/2008 5:57:51 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
What is my view on what? i have no idea what you wish to know.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to obedient4ltr)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: spirit of S/s and contract rules - 11/24/2008 5:59:47 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
John, once again, I think I love you.

OP, it seems to me like you're overthinking things.  Some of us just ARE, without examining all the motivations behind it.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: spirit of S/s and contract rules - 11/24/2008 9:14:22 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Written down in full detail it can then be referred back to as ‘law’


From what I read, this does not work for all, but it is certainly my preferred way. The one thing I like about BDSM is that it requires the partners to negotiate - many people aren't good at this, when it is a very useful life skill to develop, and really doesn't come into vanilla relationships much.

(in reply to obedient4ltr)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: spirit of S/s and contract rules - 11/25/2008 7:29:57 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline
i admit it, i didn't read it; i got lost looking for a paragraph break along the way.

(in reply to obedient4ltr)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: spirit of S/s and contract rules - 11/26/2008 3:17:21 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
Wow. Has Kool-aid brought out a new flavour or something?

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to obedient4ltr)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: spirit of S/s and contract rules - 11/26/2008 3:50:50 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
If they did, what color would it be?

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: spirit of S/s and contract rules - 11/26/2008 3:53:28 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
I don't overanalyze things.  I prefer to use my mind to just enjoy the feelings and sensations related to things I'm doing or are being done to me.  If it feels good, then it's right.

_____________________________



(in reply to obedient4ltr)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: spirit of S/s and contract rules - 11/26/2008 5:44:06 AM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

What is my view on what? i have no idea what you wish to know.


Phew for a minute there I thought it was my reading skills at fault. Read it again and still no idea.

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 10
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> spirit of S/s and contract rules Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094