|
SimplyMichael -> Teaching Your Dominant (11/21/2008 7:34:20 AM)
|
Many here take great pains to point out that teaching is a two way street and that it is a myth that the dominant should be the font of all wisdom and the submissive the starry eyed pupil in awe of the "ancient wisdom" of their all knowing dominant. As a celebration of that understanding, I thought I would share some things I have learned from my wonderful submissive partners, past and present.
Bossyshoebitch has taught me a great many things and has done much to enrich my life. I have learned to enjoy bathroom humor because of the joy it brings her. I have learned to lighten up and be silly, something I could once only do with children. She has asked and cajoled me to flirt with others here and I have actually come to enjoy that on occasion. Most important to me is she has taught me that I really can trust another with my heart. Even when we were at our most bitter, she had the passwords to my profiles here, my email, and god knows what else. In her past she has often been a vindictive bitch and yet never once did she do even the slightest thing to fuck with me. That act alone is one of the bedrocks of the trust we share today.
I am seeing a rather wonderful woman locally who is teaching me cooking skills I didn't have and I am sure as we enjoy our journey there is far more I can learn from her.
My ex, who is now like a kinky sister to me, taught me oh so much in our years together. Perhaps most important she freed me up to be creative. She taught me the language to describe what my eye saw when I looked at my own as well as other's creations. With the language came the ability to understand what I did or did not like and so I could finally improve things and make the next better than the last. She taught me that I was an abusive man and she helped me transition away from that and taught me that if I ask for something my partner is more than likely willing to give me the hug, the kiss or the kind word I so deeply need. She taught me to trust my insights into art and music in a way I had never done before. She taught me both humility and pride in ways too complex to describe.
My first real submissive taught me much too. I learned what it could be like to be with someone who you felt completely at home with and what a healthy relationship could feel like, even if those moments were as brief as a beautiful sunrise, they set me on the path to growth. She taught me that I could have a woman's heart no matter who else desired her. She taught me a sensuality and a sense of style and freedom I hadn't experienced before and have never let go of. She in many ways set the standard of what I look for in a relationship.
My last vanilla partner who was not actually that vanilla was an amazing woman. She lured me away from a life of dealing drugs, selling guns, blowing shit up, smuggling and god knows what else and showed me the joys of suburban living, something I have secretly longed for ever since. A sense of stability, of bills paid early, of the joy of not giving a shit if a cop pulled you over because you had nothing to fear, not because things were well concealed but because there was nothing to conceal, no warrants to worry about. She helped me grow up in so many ways and despite being hell on wheels also taught me how much one partner could spoil another, she was a born submissive, strong, independent, fiery, and very intelligent.
Each of these women helped me become a better man than I was before, I learned from them and in many ways still do. In many cases I would even say I think I learned more from them than I they learned from me. So they are truly not the lesser half of a whole but a primary ingredient in the magic of an uplifting and nurturing relationship. So, what have you learned that you care to share?
|
|
|
|
