Reasons for a beating !!

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missturbation -> Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 9:36:30 AM)
Most D types that i converse with are sadists of a physical nature. We talk about all manners of things, anything and everything. One of the topics i have probably spoken to all of them about is why they think they are a sadist, what they get out of it, different types of beating, different reasons for beating their sub / slave. Most have come up with variations / some of /of all the following :- For mutal pleasure in a scene. For punishment. Just because they can. For solo pleasure - the s type is not a masochist, the D type is not a sadist. Recently though i have been reading the marketplace series of books and came across the following :- 'Slaves need to be beaten regularly. Not as punishment - it's better if there's no particular reason, except to remind the slave of who and what he is. It's hard to stay focused on the idea that you're property, and a good beating brings that home to a slaves mind in a very direct and unmistakable way.' I personally have never thought of the idea that a beating could be to remind me of my place and what i am. So i'm curious do you beat your slave to reinforce their position? What do you think of the concept? Is the concept just something of fantasy (my book)?

UmbraDomina -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 9:38:47 AM)
I have always said my beloved hubbypet functions much better, with a warm red butt, or a few cane stripes. He tends to be more attentive, and desires even more to serve my needs.

leadership527 -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 9:41:36 AM)
I generally figure that if I need to remind mine of "her place", then it's not HER place she's being reminded of. People don't generally forget their own place. My wife, oddly enough, doesn't require much reminding that she is carol.

RCdc -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 9:43:14 AM)
For dominant person, I can see how that might fit. For a sadist, not so much. I would question anyone calling themselves a sadist who used a beating for anything else than pleasing themselves. the.dark.

beltainefaerie -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 9:44:05 AM)
I love the marketplace series, as quirky as it is. For me, this concept would be in line with your previously discovered reason, 'because they can'. When Master beats me because he wants to and can rather than for mutual pleasure or punishment, it does exactly that: it reminds me that I am his to do with as he pleases. Sometimes I will enjoy such a beating and other times, I merely appreciate that I am serving him. It leaves me with a very peaceful feeling and generally a desire to go thoroughly clean something or spontaneously be of some other useful service. It reminds me that I am there to help, to serve and too generally make his life easier/ more pleasant.

antipode -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 9:50:58 AM)
quote: different reasons for beating their sub / slave. I only have reasons for not beating another person. I think it is one of those "maleness" myths, and I have a couple of examples, the sub with the broken nose, and the sub with kidney damage from a kidney punch in the back. Both amateur doms - beating someone without causing damage is something one can learn, I wouldn't want to be the first ever sub the dom beats on. You did say "beating", not slapping. So there it is. I don't beat women. Ve haf azzer ways of makink you soffer....

missturbation -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 10:00:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 I generally figure that if I need to remind mine of "her place", then it's not HER place she's being reminded of. People don't generally forget their own place. My wife, oddly enough, doesn't require much reminding that she is carol. I'm not stating an s type will forget their place and that is why they need reminding. Im saying as a reinforcement of their place which is at least for me different. I am always 'Jo' but i am not always 'slave like'. I feel having this reinforced would be a useful tool. quote: For dominant person, I can see how that might fit. For a sadist, not so much. I would question anyone calling themselves a sadist who used a beating for anything else than pleasing themselves. the.dark. When my ex Sir beat me for punishment he didn't do it purposefully for his enjoyment although of course that was a side effect. I would assume also that using a beating for reinforcement would also combine with enjoyment for the D type. I guess what im trying to say is that for a sadist the enjoyment will always be there but it may not be the primary reason for the beating. quote: You did say "beating", not slapping. So there it is. I don't beat women. Im not using the word beat in a negative way or abusive way. Personally i don't 'play' but i understand the context the word is used in. I get 'beat' or 'tortured' i don't 'play'. Maybe a bad choice of word on my part but hope that clarifies it for you.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 10:19:27 AM)
~ FAST REPLY ~ quote: do you beat your slave to reinforce their position? What do you think of the concept? Is the concept just something of fantasy (my book)? My reason is simple - I want to, and feel like it. Maybe "because I can" comes closest to that attitude, but that thought doesn't go through my mind as much as the 'want to' thought. Around our place there is a lot of 'out of context' and random 'non sequitur' spanking. As beth walks by there could be a few taps, or a pull down over the lap, or a bend over whatever is convenient at that moment. Implement is also arbitrary from hand to whatever is within reach. The common reason is - I feel like it. I find it interesting that the 'marketplace series' points to, what to me, is fundamentally flawed logic for a world 'Dom' or 'Master-centric'. Why would the "Slaves needs" be considered is such a world? However, if regular beatings were a function of considering the Dom or Master's needs - I would say that too comes into play in my dynamic. I happen to have a convenient and readily available outlet for that need and take advantage of it at least a few times a day.

missturbation -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 10:44:57 AM)
quote: I find it interesting that the 'marketplace series' points to, what to me, is fundamentally flawed logic for a world 'Dom' or 'Master-centric'. Why would the "Slaves needs" be considered is such a world? My understanding from the books would be that a slave who's needs are met will serve much better than a slave who's needs are not met. I have come across a few charathers in there that are not to have their needs met in their contracts entirely.

celticlord2112 -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 11:11:55 AM)
I don't "beat" my slave, period. For some it is a bit of hair-splitting, but to my mind the word is suggestive of something impersonal, or perhaps angry. When I touch my slave in any capacity, it is highly personal and never angry. That being said, I do give my slave maintenance spankings from time to time (current situations preclude it being a regular routine). Their purpose is to reinforce the dynamic--it is a ritual of submission. I suspect my slave also finds it useful for bringing a variety of negative feelings and emotions to the surface where they can be released (pain is a wonderful cathartic for this very reason). Maintenance spankings are a potent ritual for reinforcing a power exchange dynamic. They are not the only ritual, and they are not an ideal ritual for many couples, but for many others they do work very well in maintaining the dynamic.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 11:20:08 AM)
quote: For dominant person, I can see how that might fit. For a sadist, not so much. I would question anyone calling themselves a sadist who used a beating for anything else than pleasing themselves. the.dark. That's kinda limiting sadists isn't it? They can enjoy beating as direct pleasure AND for other reasons. I can understand and know lots of people who use pain and pain rituals as a way to 'tug the leash' but it's not generally a tactic I employ because I find too often people become addicted to the ritual and external support.

RCdc -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 11:30:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: For dominant person, I can see how that might fit. For a sadist, not so much. I would question anyone calling themselves a sadist who used a beating for anything else than pleasing themselves. the.dark. That's kinda limiting sadists isn't it? They can enjoy beating as direct pleasure AND for other reasons. I can understand and know lots of people who use pain and pain rituals as a way to 'tug the leash' but it's not generally a tactic I employ because I find too often people become addicted to the ritual and external support. Absolutely limiting. But then, why lend yourself to being a sadist, if it isn't? Whats the point? There is a difference between being a sadist and sadism. Ones an act, ones a very definate orientation. Lots of people get caught up in being a 'sadist' without really grasping what one is. Just because your a sadist, doesn't make you dominant and visa versa. the.dark.

RCdc -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 11:40:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation When my ex Sir beat me for punishment he didn't do it purposefully for his enjoyment although of course that was a side effect. I would assume also that using a beating for reinforcement would also combine with enjoyment for the D type. I guess what im trying to say is that for a sadist the enjoyment will always be there but it may not be the primary reason for the beating. Yeah, that makes more sense to me. But that is more a dominants/owners reason than a sadist. If a sadist cannot seperate it, that would make him/her a risky prospect IMO. I don't see sadist nor sadism as a good tool for re-enforcement nor discipline. the.dark.

pixidustpet -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 11:52:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation I personally have never thought of the idea that a beating could be to remind me of my place and what i am. So i'm curious do you beat your slave to reinforce their position? What do you think of the concept? Is the concept just something of fantasy (my book)? me personally, i dont get the beatings that often. that's just how things are. but TheEngineer does do things that make me shiver and go "OOooo yeah, definitely the lower one on the totem pole, and i LIKE it here!" from time to time when i get to feeling my wheaties a bit, and get a little sassy. it reminds me that he is the one in charge, and i want things that way. even if its just him saying "MINE". kitten

missturbation -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 11:56:09 AM)
Just for clarity i am NOT using the word beat in a negative or abusive way. I don't like the word 'play', i prefer beat or torture. I don't play in a scene and i don't play at this lifestyle so i don't use the word in reference to me.

missturbation -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 11:59:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation When my ex Sir beat me for punishment he didn't do it purposefully for his enjoyment although of course that was a side effect. I would assume also that using a beating for reinforcement would also combine with enjoyment for the D type. I guess what im trying to say is that for a sadist the enjoyment will always be there but it may not be the primary reason for the beating. Yeah, that makes more sense to me. But that is more a dominants/owners reason than a sadist. If a sadist cannot seperate it, that would make him/her a risky prospect IMO. I don't see sadist nor sadism as a good tool for re-enforcement nor discipline. the.dark. I can certainly see what you are saying here. My Sir only used one form of punishment on me and that was the cane. I associated it with punishment and did not enjoy it in any shape or form. Im guessing that he also associated the cane and me with punishment. I know because i have asked him tht he got no pleasure out of punishing me. In my opinion and most peoples who know him, he is a sadist.

AquaticSub -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 12:17:40 PM)
~Fast Reply~ I have heard of "maintaince beatings" before and, in a way, they do make sense to me. I'm a happier person when I get to play on a regular basis (and misst, love ya but I do like the word play because when he's got me tied up and is going to town on my ass, it's not work - it's fun and definately doesn't feel when I was beaten in sparring classes!). It does lovely things for my mental state of being. I'm not sure that it actually reminds me of any place or anything but being played with, or "beaten", on regular basis shows that Val cares about me to and is going to meet my needs in our relationship. YMMV

pixidustpet -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 12:33:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation Just for clarity i am NOT using the word beat in a negative or abusive way. I don't like the word 'play', i prefer beat or torture. I don't play in a scene and i don't play at this lifestyle so i don't use the word in reference to me. i "heard" you saying beat as i would say "scene". this isnt a lifestyle, this is my life. i may not get physical stuff all the time, but the mental/emotional usage is fairly non-stop. kitten

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 12:51:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark Absolutely limiting. But then, why lend yourself to being a sadist, if it isn't? Whats the point? There is a difference between being a sadist and sadism. Ones an act, ones a very definate orientation. Lots of people get caught up in being a 'sadist' without really grasping what one is. Just because your a sadist, doesn't make you dominant and visa versa. the.dark. True- but being a sadist doesn't mean you aren't ALSO a dominant, or ALSO a top, or ALSO someone who enjoys giving pain for some reason other than "It pushes some hot button inside" I am a sadist, I enjoy hurting for hurting sake and knowing the pain is actual pain. But that doesn't mean that's the ONLY reason I EVER hurt someone.

RCdc -> RE: Reasons for a beating !! (11/4/2008 1:02:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark Absolutely limiting. But then, why lend yourself to being a sadist, if it isn't? Whats the point? There is a difference between being a sadist and sadism. Ones an act, ones a very definate orientation. Lots of people get caught up in being a 'sadist' without really grasping what one is. Just because your a sadist, doesn't make you dominant and visa versa. the.dark. True- but being a sadist doesn't mean you aren't ALSO a dominant, or ALSO a top, or ALSO someone who enjoys giving pain for some reason other than "It pushes some hot button inside" I am a sadist, I enjoy hurting for hurting sake and knowing the pain is actual pain. But that doesn't mean that's the ONLY reason I EVER hurt someone. Absolutely on all counts. I wanted to point out that the statement made was not one of a sadist alone and it wouldn't fit. Whether a sadist is a dominant - or even submissive - is another matter which I discussed with her later. the.dark.

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