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Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 3:46:27 PM   
MasterKeeps


Posts: 16
Joined: 9/20/2008
Status: offline 		How does each person here define a long term relationship? Do you enter such a relationship with the knowledge that it will probably not be with you for the remainder of your life, or is this your goal? Can you place length of time that qualifies as "long term?"
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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 3:55:47 PM   
teensub


Posts: 135
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline 		When i first started talking to my master i never thought that we would be here a year on. For me i now know that i am in this for the long term, its a choice i made when i first set eyes on him. I knew he was someone i wanted to spend a long long time with.

I think he always feels the same.

I dont think its good putting a length of time on a relationship. I used to do this with my ex partner, he used to say things like, yes we will be together forever and your never going anywhere because your mine, he put alot of pressure on us being together forever. When actually i knew deep down i didnt want us to be forever.

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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 4:19:04 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		For me, I see a relationship as "in embryo" years 1-3 or so
years 4-7 is a "stable relationship" in my mind.
8+ is long term.

I've never entered into any relationship in my life that I didn't intend to last forever. Sadly, I've noticed that god doesn't pay particularly close attention to my wishes and desires so I don't always get what I hoped.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 4:30:33 PM   
everhope


Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline 		impossible to know if any relationship we enter is of the "forever" kind. when i meet someone of interest, it is important for me to know if they emotinally available for a "long term" relationship. if not then why invest time and emotions with them. 
during the "getting to know" phase with someone, if they do not understand the concept of seeing the relationship as an "us" then there is really need for further discussions. we don't see relationships in the same way, simple.

now if i am at a place where i just want to fuck....no discussion is necessary other than safe sex practices.
 
i recently met someone on Collarme. after hours of discussions of what we each want in a future relationship, we discovered a foundation of compatibilities. we are at similiar junctions on our life paths and have complimentary needs and wants. our conversations are lively and engaging. we have shared some of the not so "pretty" things about ourselves with each other and still look forward to the next time that we can talk with each other. all good things to me and all reasons why i will continue to invest both time and emotion with this man. 
our "forever" together will be as long as we both continue to consider the relationship a priority in our lives.    
 
may we all find our bliss. 

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may we all find our bliss

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We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.






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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 4:55:16 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		actually my goal would be for lifetime at least that is what I would hope for

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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 4:58:56 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterKeeps

How does each person here define a long term relationship? Do you enter such a relationship with the knowledge that it will probably not be with you for the remainder of your life, or is this your goal? Can you place length of time that qualifies as "long term?"

For me a long term relationship is a year or more. I do not enter into any relationships with the advanced knowledge that it will fall apart, I see that as a waste of time. I have been in casual relationshps that way, but I dont consider them really "relationships" as much as I do playmates.
I never assume one will be forever, but I have high hopes. I am marrying Fox, and I am under the impression that we will be together for the rest of our lives. That may eventually change, and it may not. I hope it does not.

DV

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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

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VampiresLair

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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 5:06:00 PM   
SL4V3M4YB3


Posts: 3506
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline 		 

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterKeeps
How does each person here define a long term relationship?

They each have their own definitions which probably range from five minutes to a thousand years.
quote:


Do you enter such a relationship with the knowledge that it will probably not be with you for the remainder of your life, or is this your goal?

Don't put the cart before the horse, do you know what you are going to eat before you go to a restaurant?
quote:


Can you place length of time that qualifies as "long term?"

Yes

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Memory Lane...been there done that.

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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 5:07:14 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Long term for me - til death us do part!   My marriage - i really thought would be til i died - and in a sense, part of me did die when we divorced. I lost the vision of us growing older and closer. *sigh*

now i have a relationship that i can see being a til death us do part relationship. I won't hold my breath, but all the indications are there for a good run at it. *fingers crossed, touch wood*.

We have been together two and a half years and it feels like forever and just a few months. 

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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 5:07:25 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

How does each person here define a long term relationship?


Being with someone long enough to know that A. I want to be mutually exclusive with that person and B. We have decided to try to make a go of staying together. It is not a time dependent thing for me. I know people who knew each other for less than 6 months and were married, and stayed together for years... it is the intention of those involved in my mind.
quote:

Do you enter such a relationship with the knowledge that it will probably not be with you for the remainder of your life, or is this your goal?


I am cognizant that things often do not work out with romantic partners, I am aware that things often will end, but the goal for me if I am involved with someone long term is to stay with that person for the rest of my life.




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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 5:24:09 PM   
Chi


Posts: 68
Joined: 1/31/2005
Status: offline 		For me, long term is as much a desire as would be my next breath if it were being withheld, my last relationship exceeded 22 years and I suspect would have continued had fate no intervened. However, I am far from an occasional player in anything I do and I thoroughly enjoy the company I am with when alone so I have few illusions of re visiting the emotional bodings I once knew or even remotely touching the passions that once raged within me.

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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 5:35:33 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		i dont enter into relationships easily and i dont leave them without thought. But i dont catagorize them either. i really did assume that i would grow old and die with my last long term partner. i dont think ill make those kind of assumptions ever again, but it was a really nice feeling to have while it lasted.

A long term relationship, to me is one that i have commited to fully and have agreed to work at it wholeheartedly. The amount of time that we have been actively together doesnt matter.

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You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 5:40:52 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		If you ever come across me being in a relationship with someone make a point to ask us the same question in 20 years' time and we'll be able to tell you.

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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 5:57:21 PM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline 		Long term for me is until one of us dies. Yes, i've had it. Yes i have it now.

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The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 7:05:20 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		So have I Twicehappy had the to death do us part.

What long term is not to me; relationships that are only 1 month, 3 months or 6 months together. To me that is simply the honeymoon time. Perhaps long term might start to be seen after a relationship is a couple years in progress.  I had a long term relationship of 29 years that ended by death. I have a new relationship now of 2 and half years and growing. We went through the rose color glass syndrome, we pulled away our masks, he learned who I was and that part brought him to trust me, and same can be said about me to him. He learned that I will respect him, and vice versa. Those two things, at least for me, take time to grow. Perhaps this might be long term, but only time will tell.
oceanwynds

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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 7:07:01 PM   
Roselaure


Posts: 672
Joined: 4/12/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: everhope

our "forever" together will be as long as we both continue to consider the relationship a priority in our lives.    
 


I like the way you said that

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Once conform, once do what other people do because they do it, and lethargy steals over all the finer nerves and faculties of the soul.
-Virginia Woolf

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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 7:14:50 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		For us we defined it as til death do you part.

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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 7:15:27 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Most serious relationships I was in were supposed to be for life... then I grew up.  Although I know that my goal is lifelong, things don't always turn out that way and I have learned a new phrase... for a time.  For as long as there is love there and we are both fulfilled and happy... that is as long as it will be.  Now as life gets shorter... a for a time could actually turn into for all my time. lol

Each relationship is different and I don't like boxes unless they are taking me to the penthouse suite in a high rise... so I don't seek to define things so much anymore.  Love is what matters to me.  Whether it is living together for two months or twenty years... what will be and what we can make happen is good enough for me.  But when I love, I am committed and would like it to last.  Long term really can't be defined from the life I live because as you can see... here I am and single. lol 

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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 8:52:29 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		For me I believe something is solid after about two years.  That's long enough to go through a few cycles and real shake ups for most people.

That doesn't mean forever, but I think people seeking forever don't have the right perspective.

Your post questions don't really match up with the thread title.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 9:05:36 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross


That doesn't mean forever, but I think people seeking forever don't have the right perspective.


This is what I have come to believe, as well. I believe people come into our lives for a given period of time, and if we can accept that, and enjoy "what is" in the moment, then we aren't putting false expectations of "forever" on each other. It may go on forever, but it might not, and that's ok. I don't want to think about forever, or what's to come in 10 years, or even 5. I want to enjoy what is happening right now.

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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



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RE: Qualities of an LTR - 10/25/2008 9:08:10 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		Well these days it seems like anything over 2 weeks is "long term" for a lot of folks.  Me personally I aim for at least 6 weeks of steamy emails and phone calls.  But then I have really high expectations.  Any relationship can potentially last the rest of our lives... after all, you could die tomorrow.

I know, I'm just full of optimism and good cheer tonight...

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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